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Morning anxiety - I can't take anymore:(


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It's so bad in the mornings now I'm considering quitting my job. I'll have to move home and go on disability. Plus my mom is in very very bad health so that would make me crazy being there and having to watch that(not in a mean way--just I have zero coping abilities anymore as far as dying goes).

 

I go to bed in a good mood--I text friends, and feel calm and confident. I play my hypnosis tapes (I think it's andrew johnson on itunes--very good!!) and listen to the panic app and deep sleep and relaxation ones. So I go to bed feeling good...but the very second I wake up, I'm f'ed for the day.

 

I've been waking up at 4am for the last 4 months or so. I have an extra pill on my nightstand so I can fall back asleep without being crazy...then I get up at 6 every day and eat and take my regular 6am pill. But as I'm getting ready for work, I begin to slowly fall apart--and become a mess on the way to work. All I can think is how empty I am inside--how alone and unloved. I try not to think about that stuff at all, just distract--but if I think about "why" i'm anxious and crazy, that's why.

 

This will sound completely nuts but I need someone to just hold me and hug me. When I get moved, the landlord will need a ride to work since he's got a seizure problem right now and he works near me....so there would be company in the a.m. He's also a psych nurse so he knows all about this stuff. But I don't want/need him like to help--sure he'd be good to talk to--but I need a "safe person" who can hug and hold me...and I don't know that I consider him "safe", if that makes sense. I don't know him very well yet, and though he's been super helpful in every way, I don't trust people at all so he's still in my "not safe" pile. He said he could do whatever I want when I panic(I'm moving in Saturday) but I still am not trusting.

 

The sad thing is I still need H for the whole 'comfort' thing. And the sick part is he caused this--all the abuse(all kinds) and mind games--and yet I have been brainwashed into needing him to take care of me even now. It's frustrating:(

 

How are you guys doing with morning anxiety? Are you in a similar deal or is yours worse later in the day?

 

I'm going to see a different shrink to see what they think is going on and how best to handle it. I need something done *now*....I"m at the point where I can't continue living this way anymore.

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I get anxiety all over the place but I've definitely had times where all of a sudden I suffer from it for a few weeks or a few months, usually as soon as I wake up. It's horrible. I have a husband to hold me and give me a cuddle, but honestly, it doesn't make the morning anxiety go away. Nothing much has ever helped me when I go through this cycle, it's often when a GP has tried to put me back on medication. A low dose of sinequan at bedtime helped for a while but wore off and I wasn't willing to go up to a higher dose as it was doping me out.

It's probably worth speaking to your pdoc about it, it might just require a med adjustment or something and maybe your t-doc who might be able to give you some coping skills to get through that particular part of the morning.

Sorry I'm not much help but you have lots of my sympathy. It sucks.

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Thanks Jessamine that actually does help to know it's not just me.

I recently moved into a new house by myself without my H, and I'm actually feeling better. The morning anxiety is still there but much much more bearable than in my old place. I think part of the key to surviving it is to remove as many stressors as possible. I'm finding that even though I'm better at home now, I'm getting the same kind of anxiety only not as severe, once I'm at work--My boss is a huge stressor--like, giant!! I'm going to have to reconsider my job options since it seems to be a bit of an issue...

Thanks so much for replying---I'm sooo glad you understand how hard it is--and I'm sorry you're suffering too.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My anxiety and depression is worst in the morning which is horrid for being a productive, functional human being. If the world started at midday, 2pm, I'd be good.
I'm sorry I'm not much use on the 'how to help' front but just thought I'd let you know I understand.
The only small idea is if theres any chance you can move your sleeping patterns back a bit, like sleeping earlier and getting up a bit earlier, giving yourself time to laze around in the morning. Go and lie down in front of the heater in winter with a soft fuzzy blanket, take your time getting ready. On days I have to get up and don't feel like I can, I'll do these kinds of things. Do something you enjoy and helps you de-stress in the morning. I really enjoy applying makeup so I take my time doing this.
But honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be able to hold down a normal 9-5, 5 days. That terrifies me.
I can also relate with not wanting to move back with a sick mother. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that on top of everything else.

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I'm glad things are a little better now you've moved. Sorry though that you have an ogre of a boss :( That one I can't help you with at all (not working, haven't been able to in a long time) but maybe hopefully something else will come up and you'll be able to leave him behind you?

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  • 1 month later...

My anxiety is worst when I'm ready to start college classes. If I don't drop them the anxiety doesn't go away.

Since it has been 10 years since I dropped out of college, I don't have much hope of going back. This in turn gives me more anxiety because college is the way to make money.

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I'm essentially just the opposite... I'm best in the morning and get worse as the day goes on. If my day could END at 2pm I would be very happy.

 

There are days I feel like Piglet who needed to send himself to bed early because he once got a glimpse of Christopher Robin's blue braces (suspenders)... it's all just too overstimulating... and those are the days where I'm most likely to have difficulty getting to sleep.

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