Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Please help bp2


Recommended Posts

 

I was diagnosed with bp2 two days ago. Here is my story I need help!!!!!

I'm in military, I have been promoted the fastest out of everyone in my job, I have more awards than any one and have been recommended by a lot of people. I went on my 2nd deployment to Afghanistan and I came back different I had depression but it only lasted for short periods of time and these depression episodes were bad, I tried to hurt my self a few times, one time I was one trigger pull away but I was drinking to get the courage to do it and o passed out drunk only reason why I'm alive. So everything goes back to normal. I keep doing great things now even better than before. It lasts for a year almost with a few low level depression spells here or there then I have a big one during an interview for a special military position And they said I went on and told them I want to shoot people, my self, blow up things. And other very bad things. I don't rmember saying that. Luckily it took my command 3 weeks after this interview to get the results once they get them I'm on my way to the mental hospital adapt with 3 ppl watching me. This is 3 weeks after the fact and I have no signs of depression what so ever. So doc comes in and I just tell Him I am fine and there's nothing wrong I'm back to my normal self. I tell a few lies about wanting to hurt self in past. But at that moment I had no intention of harming myself or anyone else I was normal

All the times I wrote normal are what I thought was normal after deployment, don't remeber how I was before. But my normal now is extreme happiness racing mind, accomplishing things at work at a very fast pace. Sleeping at work just to do as much as i can. Every that worked under me said I was on cocain. I was also doing this at home doing vast amounts of research into topics like building houses, tiny house, motorhome , flying, video games. Each of these researches would last for days and I would research every part about it like the insulation, engine, heating, what size walls windows. And lots more.I was also spending vast ammounts of money, around $160,000 in my normal mood. I have bought 4 brand new cars each time getting the best and convincing my self to buy it. I bought other shit that I used for a week and got ride of. A mowing lawn mower for a yard that is less than a 1/4 acre. Motorcycle that I used to ride to near death! This hole time I was happy and enjoying it all! Then I would realize what the fuck did I buy that for. Thought out all this I was depressed between some of these events. But when at work it never affected my work because I was happy as shit doing what I do, to where I neglected my family and focused 150% on that. During this normally I was eating less losing 10-15 pounds doing the happy time. With little to no sleep. I gain it all back when I depressed

I have never heard voice but I always talk to self and others that are not present practicing what I will say and how they might respond. Full fledge back and forth convos

I never put any of this together till now, so you suspect the dr diagnosis is correct me having bipolar.

It's 1040 my mind is racing and I have taken my pills an ambien and a lithium type pill at 8pm and I can't sleep because my mind is racing!! Would you think the dr is right?

There o lay concern is how could I be such a stud at work if I had bipolar

I was diagnosed with bp2 two days ago. Here is my story I need help!!!!!

I'm in military, I have been promoted the fastest out of everyone in my job, I have more awards than any one and have been recommended by a lot of people. I went on my 2nd deployment to Afghanistan and I came back different I had depression but it only lasted for short periods of time and these depression episodes were bad, I tried to hurt my self a few times, one time I was one trigger pull away but I was drinking to get the courage to do it and o passed out drunk only reason why I'm alive. So everything goes back to normal. I keep doing great things now even better than before. It lasts for a year almost with a few low level depression spells here or there then I have a big one during an interview for a special military position And they said I went on and told them I want to shoot people, my self, blow up things. And other very bad things. I don't rmember saying that. Luckily it took my command 3 weeks after this interview to get the results once they get them I'm on my way to the mental hospital adapt with 3 ppl watching me. This is 3 weeks after the fact and I have no signs of depression what so ever. So doc comes in and I just tell Him I am fine and there's nothing wrong I'm back to my normal self. I tell a few lies about wanting to hurt self in past. But at that moment I had no intention of harming myself or anyone else I was normal

All the times I wrote normal are what I thought was normal after deployment, don't remeber how I was before. But my normal now is extreme happiness racing mind, accomplishing things at work at a very fast pace. Sleeping at work just to do as much as i can. Every that worked under me said I was on crack. I was also doing this at home doing vast amounts of research into topics like building houses, tiny house, raving, flying, video games. I was also spending vast ammounts of money, around $160,000 in my normal mood. I have bought 4 brand new cars each time getting the best and coming my self to buy it. I bought other shit that I used for a week and got ride of. A mowing lawn mower for a yard that is less than a 1/4 acre. Motorcycle that I used to ride to near death! This hole time I was happy and enjoying it all! Thought out all this I was depressed between some of these events. But when at work it never affected my work because I was happy as shot doing what I do, to where I leglectes my family and focused 150% on that.

I have never heard voice but I always talk to self and others that are not present practicing what I will say and how they might respond.

I never put any of this together till now, so you suspect the dr diagnosis is correct me having bipolar. He said it's not a 100% diagnosis because it has to be confirmed over multiple sessions. I've seen him twice.

It's 1040 my mind is racing and I have taken my pills an ambien and a lithium type pill at 8pm and I can't sleep because my mind is racing!! Would you think the dr is right.

My work doesn't trust the doc because they see the good me and never a bad me till the last one. They think I'm shit hot because I won't stop working till everything is done and quick as shit at it.

I hate the depression but is it wrong to love my normal.

 

 

 

I read this.

I hope you are a real person and not a scammer because it was long and very sad.

 

I cannot answer any of your questions but I am sorry for your pain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not a doctor.

 

It is really common for bipolar people to love their mania.

Mania is probably much like doing cocaine without the bother of actually having to do the cocaine.

You are currently doing crazy shit that will bite you in the ass.

Admittedly, you feel GREAT while you are doing crazy shit that will bite you in the ass, but do you really want to chase that feeling and let it ruin your life?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi there

 

Using your email address as your username is problematic from a privacy point of view, because this site is indexed by Google.  Please contact one of the admin staff if you wish to change it (WinterRosie, Wooster, sylvan or Velvet Elvis).

 

Mia (moderator)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you I will contact them.

It just wired that I never knew this, that was my normal for the last 2 years this hyper sense of me, ppl thought I was on cocain do I was also very irritable when I was like this. The only thing I cared about was when I was depressed. My high times were the only normal I could remeber. So I thought it was normal to act like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...