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Here's my question: what do you do when your biggest trigger is your own sexuality?

 

I'm aware that I do have a sexual and romantic orientation (bisexual) and the fact that I have a libido is so damn triggering I can't tell you. I can't even crush on someone without feeling intense guilt and shame, not because I'm queer but because of my history of abuse. When I foolishly quit sertraline cold turkey my sex drive came back pretty aggressively and it was awful, I've never felt so alienated by my body.

 

I'm posting this here because I only really feel comfortable talking to other LGBT folk about this.

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I bought it but yeah, it sucks when the thing that might help temporarily makes things worse. Then again I guess I'm sort of a glutton for punishment, since I'm writing an essay for school on abuse. Anyway, hopefully it's more helpful than triggering :)

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  • 3 weeks later...

ananke -

 

Feelings of guilt and shame attached to one's libido (been there, done that, burned the evidence) can respond very well to therapy.  These feelings have a beginning in time and events, whether you remember it or not, and by learning to apply the rational side of your mind to the feelings that emerge, you can train yourself to accept your natural self automatically.  But it's a lot easier with the assistance of a therapist, and preferably one with experience dealing with issues of sexuality.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I go to a clinic that is GLBTQ* friendly, and they have a doctor for those transitioning (she's a transwoman herself, and very famous where I live for the work she does. She's only there on Wednesdays and has a huge waiting list) and counselors for everything to do about sexuality, whether it be coming out, transitioning, sexual problems, and so on. I'm wondering if there's anything like that around you?

 

Or you could call therapists and ask if they have any experience with what you've talked about. You could use Google to find out and call around. I found quite a few therapists that help deal with sexuality issues. 

 

I'm sorry about the abuse. It should never happen. I hope you can feel comfortable with your sexuality soon. Remember, you should never feel guilty for who you are. 

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