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I can medicate myself until the cows come home--and medicate them too...but for me, when I get a panic attack, a meltdown, whatever...the only thing that brings me back to my version of normal is a hug and some physical contact.

 

Gods help me, I still depend on H for that. I know he's my abuser and I'm programmed this way, but in the short-term, a little time sitting with him and getting a hug and a bit of a rub on the back goes a long way toward making me feel human again.

 

Is there anyone else who's this way? That you need some human--anybody--to physically be there to get you through it??

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I know what you mean Woo! Dogs are great for comfort. I miss my baby... I had to rehome her when I went crazy--I wasn't able to take care of her... I feel like a failure as a human in that regard but I know she's happier and with other doggies and kids and all the stuff I couldn't give her.

 

She was pretty great though :)

I just also need a human --I guess cuz I get so lonely :(

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I find that being squished by my dog is more comforting than humans when I am very very anxious.

 

Same, except I have cats instead.  There's one warming me up right now.

 

I don't know, hugs are lovely, but I have so rarely in my life had hugs available on an as-needed basis that I have never relied on them as a source of anxiety relief.  

 

I know it's not the same as a person or even a pet, but I do find it soothing (yes, even though I'm 38 years old and a grown-ass adult) to hug a pillow or part of my duvet as I'm going to sleep.  A stuffed animal might be similarly comforting.  

 

The thing is, even in the very best relationships and situations, it's not always possible to have a loved one on hand when anxiety strikes.  It might happen at work, or when somebody's sick or out of town, or you know, things happen.  I have found it helpful to build a "toolbox" of strategies that help with anxiety, so that if one option's not a good one under the circumstances, there's an alternative that might do something to fall back on.  

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I have a complicated relationship with touch. I simultaneously find it threatening and comforting. 

 

When I really trust someone, it will be more soothing than threatening, but there's still this unpleasant tenseness that offsets it. 

 

My kitty though? That's all floofy purry comfort.

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You guys sooo understand!!! I want to be touched but my 'safe people' are limited. The new-guy-friend-landlord seems acceptable because he's a psych nurse, but I don't want him to be mistaken that it's more than a platonic helpful thing. I'm not capable of love, true caring or anything right now --all I can do is try to patch myself together and take tiny little steps toward being a normal human again, which is hard...

 

I've got a tool kit, I actually made the box in the psych ward. I've got a few calming tools in there, but my number one tool when I go mad, is my med bottle. Once that kicks in, I'm on my way back to sane-ville. But also, I have "safe places" that take away the anxiety--now it's my new house lofty sitting area girl-cave thing. I feel all nestled in and safe there.

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I have a complicated relationship with touch. I simultaneously find it threatening and comforting. 

 

When I really trust someone, it will be more soothing than threatening, but there's still this unpleasant tenseness that offsets it. 

 

My kitty though? That's all floofy purry comfort.

 

Also this.

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Dishes, I totally get what you mean. I often feel touch deprived. It definitely helps me with both depressive and anxious cycles. 

 

I don't really have anyone in my life who can offer me routine, safe touch. My best friend lives on the other side of the country. He and I talk a few times a week online or by text. Sometimes just sitting "with" him helps. Sometimes virtual hugs and holding from him helps (sometimes it makes it worse because I want it so badly). The once or twice a year I get to see him, I kind of "stock up" on hugs, to try to remember the feeling. 

 

Mostly I have the dog. I taught him to lay on me because the pressure is grounding (typical 50lb lap dog :D ). I taught him to let me hug him (not all dogs will or like to be actually hugged, they can feel trapped). He likes it now. 

 

When I'm having a panic attack, I found I kind of hug myself. Or I lean my side hard against something (the back of the couch, door in the car, stall wall in the bathroom, etc.). It seems to help some - the pressure, perhaps. It's not perfect, but it's something.

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Geek I totally get that...I try to stock up from safe people when I can too....my family and friends.

I've even considered going to one of those cuddle-places and just get cuddled for a while--but it seems kinda creepy since I have abuse issues and the person is a stranger. I think "normal" lonely people would be fine with it, but being crazy and an abuse-survivor I'm kinda wigged out at the concept.

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When I'm feeling panicky I don't like to be touched at all, but I like to wear coats with hoods, all zipped up. Or tight hats. I also like to be in small, enclosed places, like my car, or the stall in a bathroom if that's all that's available. Small places that lock. Under my husband's desk is good too.

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Geek I totally get that...I try to stock up from safe people when I can too....my family and friends.

I've even considered going to one of those cuddle-places and just get cuddled for a while--but it seems kinda creepy since I have abuse issues and the person is a stranger. I think "normal" lonely people would be fine with it, but being crazy and an abuse-survivor I'm kinda wigged out at the concept.

 

Yeah, I couldn't do that. It just feels... squicky. For me, I don't think it would help. I wouldn't be able to relax or anything; it wouldn't feel safe. 

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I know it's not the same as a person or even a pet, but I do find it soothing (yes, even though I'm 38 years old and a grown-ass adult) to hug a pillow or part of my duvet as I'm going to sleep. A stuffed animal might be similarly comforting.

I'm 36...and I sleep with my stuffed bear every night still...for this very reason. It may only be a stuffed animal, but it's s comfort object, and it does help me sleep. I have a cat as well, but she's not really a snuggler...lol...at least, not when it's not in her terms...haha.

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