Brokendishes Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I can medicate myself until the cows come home--and medicate them too...but for me, when I get a panic attack, a meltdown, whatever...the only thing that brings me back to my version of normal is a hug and some physical contact. Gods help me, I still depend on H for that. I know he's my abuser and I'm programmed this way, but in the short-term, a little time sitting with him and getting a hug and a bit of a rub on the back goes a long way toward making me feel human again. Is there anyone else who's this way? That you need some human--anybody--to physically be there to get you through it?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooster Posted October 22, 2014 Share Posted October 22, 2014 I find that being squished by my dog is more comforting than humans when I am very very anxious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokendishes Posted October 22, 2014 Author Share Posted October 22, 2014 I know what you mean Woo! Dogs are great for comfort. I miss my baby... I had to rehome her when I went crazy--I wasn't able to take care of her... I feel like a failure as a human in that regard but I know she's happier and with other doggies and kids and all the stuff I couldn't give her. She was pretty great though I just also need a human --I guess cuz I get so lonely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution724 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I find that being squished by my dog is more comforting than humans when I am very very anxious. Same, except I have cats instead. There's one warming me up right now. I don't know, hugs are lovely, but I have so rarely in my life had hugs available on an as-needed basis that I have never relied on them as a source of anxiety relief. I know it's not the same as a person or even a pet, but I do find it soothing (yes, even though I'm 38 years old and a grown-ass adult) to hug a pillow or part of my duvet as I'm going to sleep. A stuffed animal might be similarly comforting. The thing is, even in the very best relationships and situations, it's not always possible to have a loved one on hand when anxiety strikes. It might happen at work, or when somebody's sick or out of town, or you know, things happen. I have found it helpful to build a "toolbox" of strategies that help with anxiety, so that if one option's not a good one under the circumstances, there's an alternative that might do something to fall back on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sync Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I have a complicated relationship with touch. I simultaneously find it threatening and comforting. When I really trust someone, it will be more soothing than threatening, but there's still this unpleasant tenseness that offsets it. My kitty though? That's all floofy purry comfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokendishes Posted October 23, 2014 Author Share Posted October 23, 2014 You guys sooo understand!!! I want to be touched but my 'safe people' are limited. The new-guy-friend-landlord seems acceptable because he's a psych nurse, but I don't want him to be mistaken that it's more than a platonic helpful thing. I'm not capable of love, true caring or anything right now --all I can do is try to patch myself together and take tiny little steps toward being a normal human again, which is hard... I've got a tool kit, I actually made the box in the psych ward. I've got a few calming tools in there, but my number one tool when I go mad, is my med bottle. Once that kicks in, I'm on my way back to sane-ville. But also, I have "safe places" that take away the anxiety--now it's my new house lofty sitting area girl-cave thing. I feel all nestled in and safe there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution724 Posted October 23, 2014 Share Posted October 23, 2014 I have a complicated relationship with touch. I simultaneously find it threatening and comforting. When I really trust someone, it will be more soothing than threatening, but there's still this unpleasant tenseness that offsets it. My kitty though? That's all floofy purry comfort. Also this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek Posted October 25, 2014 Share Posted October 25, 2014 Dishes, I totally get what you mean. I often feel touch deprived. It definitely helps me with both depressive and anxious cycles. I don't really have anyone in my life who can offer me routine, safe touch. My best friend lives on the other side of the country. He and I talk a few times a week online or by text. Sometimes just sitting "with" him helps. Sometimes virtual hugs and holding from him helps (sometimes it makes it worse because I want it so badly). The once or twice a year I get to see him, I kind of "stock up" on hugs, to try to remember the feeling. Mostly I have the dog. I taught him to lay on me because the pressure is grounding (typical 50lb lap dog ). I taught him to let me hug him (not all dogs will or like to be actually hugged, they can feel trapped). He likes it now. When I'm having a panic attack, I found I kind of hug myself. Or I lean my side hard against something (the back of the couch, door in the car, stall wall in the bathroom, etc.). It seems to help some - the pressure, perhaps. It's not perfect, but it's something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brokendishes Posted October 28, 2014 Author Share Posted October 28, 2014 Geek I totally get that...I try to stock up from safe people when I can too....my family and friends. I've even considered going to one of those cuddle-places and just get cuddled for a while--but it seems kinda creepy since I have abuse issues and the person is a stranger. I think "normal" lonely people would be fine with it, but being crazy and an abuse-survivor I'm kinda wigged out at the concept. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gearhead Posted October 28, 2014 Share Posted October 28, 2014 When I'm feeling panicky I don't like to be touched at all, but I like to wear coats with hoods, all zipped up. Or tight hats. I also like to be in small, enclosed places, like my car, or the stall in a bathroom if that's all that's available. Small places that lock. Under my husband's desk is good too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geek Posted October 30, 2014 Share Posted October 30, 2014 Geek I totally get that...I try to stock up from safe people when I can too....my family and friends. I've even considered going to one of those cuddle-places and just get cuddled for a while--but it seems kinda creepy since I have abuse issues and the person is a stranger. I think "normal" lonely people would be fine with it, but being crazy and an abuse-survivor I'm kinda wigged out at the concept. Yeah, I couldn't do that. It just feels... squicky. For me, I don't think it would help. I wouldn't be able to relax or anything; it wouldn't feel safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LesMis4 Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 I know it's not the same as a person or even a pet, but I do find it soothing (yes, even though I'm 38 years old and a grown-ass adult) to hug a pillow or part of my duvet as I'm going to sleep. A stuffed animal might be similarly comforting. I'm 36...and I sleep with my stuffed bear every night still...for this very reason. It may only be a stuffed animal, but it's s comfort object, and it does help me sleep. I have a cat as well, but she's not really a snuggler...lol...at least, not when it's not in her terms...haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crtclms Posted November 1, 2014 Share Posted November 1, 2014 When I have a panic attack, I don't want anyone to touch me. I sit or lie down until it passes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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