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angels, meds, anxiety, and paranoia.


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Hey guys, sorry I vanished for a bit. Lately, I've been uber paranoid and I think my anxiety not only doesn't help that buty OCD is out of control. I quit my job back in August and have been have hard luck getting a new one. I couldn't work where beeing on the phone and hallucinating while trying to take care of client issues was stressful.

I've also been talking to angels. Yeah. Angels. Batshit huh? But they don't tell me to hurt myself or anyone else (that's good right? Lol) also another downside, I may have a bit of agoraphobia (least my hubby thinks so), but making art making some income... So.... I just feel like my brain is cracking, I'm constants in a state of low to medium panic, I'm trying to be a productive member of society...but I constantly feel like the odd man out.

Anyhoo, I'll quit rambling, hope you all have been good.

Indigo.

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Hey Indigo,

 

I can relate to the OCD, paranoia, anxiety, and a state of constant panic. I Had to drop out of the current semester because my symptoms were destroying me emotionally. I work, but part time. 3.5 to 4 hours a night. Most of the time I am extremely paranoid at work. All day I think about, will I have a panic attack at work tonight and suffer from paranoia the entire time?

 

Are you doing any therapy? Do you read about your issues? Try paranoidthoughts.com. I go on there and try to run through the coping skills and questions they tell you to ask yourself to relieve paranoia. I am new to fighting all these negative, intrusive, paranoid thoughts fueled by anxiety and paranoia. At this point in time I can't control it. When the fear comes my mind goes in overdrive and analyzes everything in a negative way.

 

Okay but anyway my advice (which you probably are already doing) is take meds, try therapy (find what form of therapy that works for you and a therapist you like and can trust which is hard with the paranoia, I know). Practice your coping skills, even when they aren't working. It takes time, I am no where near getting control of this either. But at the end of the day we can learn to cope with these things and live life.

 

My therapist told me about a Schizophrenic patient he knew that, with time, was about to manage his illness and start his own business helping others with Schizophrenia. That gives me hope that even though right now I feel like it's impossible, some day I can cope with this and be a productive member of society.

 

I hope I helped at least a little. Right now I am very anxious because I have to go to work in a couple of hours and I have no idea if my paranoia is going to ruin my night or not. Hang in there man and keep fighting. 

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Well, Indigo, I may get jumped on for saying this but I talk to angels too and they are the one bright spot in this whole otherwise disordered existence of mine. Every time I mention to my Pdoc "But I LIKE the angels!" I get The Look.

 

I assume you're taking something for anxiety? I would assume with SZA that would be a yes...

 

There is nothing as crazy-making (or crazy-worsening) as needing to find a job. May you land a beautiful one soonest.

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