Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Anyone else ashamed of being depressed?


Recommended Posts

The title pretty much sums it up but anyone else feel this way? I put so much energy into pretending I'm ok.Only one person knows how I really feel and that's my best friend who I've known for 28 years.I can't even tell my family cause they'll get mad and tell me to just get over it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Until you posted this, it never even occurred to me to be ashamed of being depressed. I do keep my MI on a need-to-know basis, but that has more to do with the stigma of MI than with being ashamed. Perhaps you are reacting to society's stigma in a way that makes you feel ashamed?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yes i am ashamed.  i look around me at all i have to be happy about, and here i am wishing i would just fall off the earth somehow.  i am ashamed of that, even though intellectually i understand that it is not my fault.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am ashamed of how I feel and act when depressed. Always think I can do better, I am a bad person, blahdeblahblah. This is part and parcel of my depression.

 

I am NOT ashamed however of having the illness. That is not my fault. This realization came from Crazyboards. And I will forever be grateful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I actually was going to post something similar recently.  When I'm depressed I feel ashamed when I think of the people in the world who have REAL things to be depressed over, starvation, extreme loss, etc.  Anyone looking at my life from the outside would think it was decent, at least decent enough to not cause depression.  Of course, it's not my life causing my depression!  I also feel ashamed because even though I really do know better, I still feel deep down like I should be able to control myself from "going there".  Sometimes I just think I'm a spoiled selfish brat who expects too much from the world, who expects to be "privileged" enough to feel happy....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This goes for my depression and everything else... i am sad that i have these issues... I definitely have a lack of hope that i can have a relationship. I feel like it be an unfair trade. The love, compassion, and patience i get from the significant other while all i give back is good food, adventures, and a dose of my troubles. I just think i'm worthless cuz of these issues. So is that a form of shame? Like i'll be better off just being a friend and hard worker.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am ashamed usually when I am at one of my DRs offices and they start treating me differently than usual.  So I try to pretend I am ok around them.  Also my parents. I just don't want them to see me depressed because they dont get it.  I'm always acting ok around them if depressed also.
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess I'm not. To me, it's my illness. I do the best I can. Some days are harder than others. I don't see why I should have to be ashamed over something I can't really control. As long as I'm doing the best I can I see no reason to be ashamed. It's a chemical imbalance and I'm doing my part in treating it and that's all I can do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm afraid of what will happen if I let people see me ill, but I wouldn't say that's the same as being ashamed. That's fear of rejection, and it comes from anxiety.

 

I'm sad that I can't be more effective as a person when my illness is bad, but that's not really shame, either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I spend a lot of time advocating for kids and working with families, so I frequently put my diagnosis on the table, but shame is a complicated package.

 

Am I ashamed of my diagnosis? Not at all. But I am ashamed of the symptoms, of being fat, of not having energy to keep house the way I'd like to, of the way I can't stand up to bullies, or of what a shitty person I was before I got my life this much together. Those things dig at me, day in and day out.

 

Not my fault? Maybe, but if I separate myself that much from the depression, who's left? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the shame I feel is due to the stigma.  Once people find out you suffer from MI, they look at you through a different lens.  They don't see that you get up everyday and keep going despite the challenges.  I don't want people to think I'm weak and I'm not.  I'm getting better at being an advocate but I have to balance that with the reality of potential backlash and discrimination.  It's like walking a tightrope.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am ashamed of how I feel and act when depressed. Always think I can do better, I am a bad person, blahdeblahblah. This is part and parcel of my depression.

 

I am NOT ashamed however of having the illness. That is not my fault. This realization came from Crazyboards. And I will forever be grateful.

^^This.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Every day.

 

yes i am ashamed.  i look around me at all i have to be happy about, and here i am wishing i would just fall off the earth somehow.  i am ashamed of that, even though intellectually i understand that it is not my fault.

 

^This.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...