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my girl is cutting

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she just told me. in the car. she showed me her scar. she last cut on Halloween. her scar is huge.

she is 15.

she started she said in middle school.

 

she all of a sudden told me on the way home from a very intense family visit. hubs was not in the car. she prevarcatedf for a while, hiding her head, tellng me I would be ashamed of her, making me guess.

 

"Did you hurt someone? Did you cheat on your boyfriend? Are you preganant"

 

On and on until I was freaking. Then when she told me, I think I went into shock.

She grabbed my hand, we held hands while she talked.

 

Then, I explained how I would never ever be ashamed of anything she did because of pain. Because of depression. I told her the cutting did though, hurt me.  I have to tell hubs now. I am in shock, freaked.

 

Her scar was long and wide. Not deep, scabbed over. She promised to give me what she uses. She told me her boyfriend just broke up with her because she promised to stop and didn't. She told me that her friends know. She told me and then she was quiet, we talked, held hands. Now she is singing, about to go out with a friend. 

 

She promised me she would 'try' to never do it again without telling me first.

 

At the very beginning she was crying. She cried and said, "mommy, do I have to go to therapy?" Like, do I have to go to jail?

 

We talked about therapy. She doesn't want to go because she does not want to talk to a stranger. When I explained that we could find a female that she could get to know, my girl was agreeable. She is willing to go. I told her she can tell the therapist whatever she wants and the therapist will not tell Daddy and I. I think my girl is liking th idea.

 

She was most afraid I would not let her get a belly button piercing once I found out. That I would not let her pierce her ear either. 

 

She is now singing, and dancing, waiting for her friend. I have to go tell hubs.

 

 

I told her about my self harm as a teen, but for me it was daily, picking my scalp, picking my eyelashes.  Her cutting is not all the time. But after she told me that she cut on Halloween she admitted she did it a little last monday.

"why honey?"

"I don't know mommy"

 

We talked about PMS.

I told her about using a rubber band, snapping it on her wrist.

 

My reaction was so benign she is very relieved.

 

I am completely freaked out. help.

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(edit: i was being useless)

Edited by inabook

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I'm glad you were able to act in such a way as to calm her but sorry you are hurting. My parents knew since I was 11 but didn't get me help until my high school mandated it or I would not be allowed back in. 

Therapy is a good first step. It will open the lines of communication more so than you can do on your own. 

I may not have kids but I know it's scary, for both sides, to open up about self harm and to talk freely. 

The following resources may help all of you in coping. https://self-injury.net/resources/hotlines-helplines-textlines/crisis-support#crisis-usa

If you want, I will give you my number to give to her if she needs somebody relatively close to her own age (I just turned 23) that has been "been there, done that" to turn to when she is struggling. Message me if that sounds like something you would be interested in. 

I hope all goes well and that she's able to get some help soon. 

Much love, 

Angeni

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It sounds like you did a great job, actually. 

 

I understand why you'd be freaking out, but remember, she trusted you enough to tell you, which is good. I can imagine it's quite a stress on you, to find this out so suddenly. 

 

What helped me from my family, more than anything, was the knowledge that I could tell them I had cut, if I wanted. I could ask for support. I could ask to talk, or to be hugged. But I didn't have to, and there would be no pressure. I could buy first aid supplies, if I needed, without being judged for it. They cared that I took care of my wounds, and they would ask me periodically if I needed to be seen. But that was mostly so I knew they were still open to talking. They offered to help me, but didn't force me to accept their help. 

 

I think the idea of her telling you before she cuts is a good one. That way you can talk to her about what's going on that has made her feel that way. I also think that her being able to talk to a therapist without having her words trickle back to you may give her a sense of freedom; nothing against you, as it sounds like you're a great mother, but everyone needs private spaces. 

 

If I may make a suggestion, you might consider providing her with first aid supplies and some info on how to care for cuts and do basic first aid. What to watch for. When she needs to come to you and have herself seen for stitches (if that should happen). 

Edited by Mim

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Wow, I'm sorry!  Parenting is so tough.  My first instinct is that she wants to go to therapy.  If her friends and her bf have known, and it was a big enough deal that her bf broke up with her because of it, then I'd say telling a parent is a last resort kind of thing because she's hitting rock bottom with it.  Like she knows that putting it in your hands means she'll get the help she needs.  And then asking if this means she'll have to go to therapy, she basically planted the idea in your head but has to pretend that it wasn't her idea, she brought it up, but to say she didn't want to go.  So the subject was brought up.  

 

When I was around 16 I was hurting enough that I wanted to go to therapy, but I was too embarrassed about the stigma, I had mixed feelings about it, but I knew I needed help.  So I acted out a lot until my parents finally "made" me go to therapy.  But because I was so confused about what this meant, I completely sabotaged it, I refused to talk to the therapist, and then after maybe two times I flat out refused to go.  I was testing my parents and testing the therapist, and they all failed.  I really needed someone to "make" me go, but they just gave up.  So one suggestion is to talk the hell out of what therapy is and what it means before she goes, and maybe agree to something ahead of time, like say let's try 5 times with this therapist to see if she's a good fit, and if not we'll try another one.  So the focus will be on finding a good fit, not necessarily on "getting help", which has so much stigma attached to it.  

 

Most importantly, she felt the need to tell you for a reason.... 

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sorry water. that's awfully hard news to hear.

 

i'm afraid I don't know much about cutting so I can't really provide any help, but it does sound like you're handling it well in front of her. Freaking out internally is okay and understandable.

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It's rough finding out someone self harms. When my best friend told me he cut I was mad and upset, even though I myself cut. I just don't want anyone to hurt like that. It sounds like you reacted very well. She probably has wanted to tell you for some time now and she finally worked up the courage to do it suddenly. First of all it's not your fault she's cutting. I know my Mum said she felt guilty like she messed me up or something but cutting is just a way to handle emotions. Some people choose work, others alcohol, and some self harm. You said yourself you would pick, so you can understand those urges that are difficult to fight or even notice until it's too late.

 

I think it's the right move to take her to therapy. Professionals deal with people like her every day. My therapist told me straight off that she wasn't going to ask me to stop cutting. She just wanted to help me find other ways to deal with my emotions that could eventually take the place of cutting. This took away the panic of thinking what it would be like to not have that outlet to deal. Do give her control over who she wants to talk to and help her find someone she's comfortable with.

 

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, I know SH hurts more than just one person. Just give her love and space, she obviously wanted you to know and that takes a lot of trust and vulnerability on her part. 

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the fact that she told you was huge. you should be proud of yourself for being a good mom and having fostered an environment where your teen feels like she can come and talk to you about cutting. try not to lose that. keep those lines open. when i was her age and i was cutting and my friends were cutting - none of us would have felt comfortable talking to our parents. and even if the case where the school contacted a friend of mine's parents about his cutting - his parents still ignored it. pretended like it wasn't happening and minimized the issues that led to his self-harming. that was probably one of the worst things possible. parenting is so hard and parenting a teen is probably the hardest. but you sound like a great mom.

 

there's this fine balance of opening up the lines of communication to her but expressing concern at the same time. and it will be hard. but you're off to a good start (good as can be with your current circumstances obviously).

 

i was younger than her when i started seeing my first therapist - but in retrospect - that was so pivotal to my well-being and mental health. you can explain and go through it with her so that she knows how it will all go but you also have to be firm about it. my parents didn't want me to go to therapy and it was obvious. they told me that the social worker's job was to remove kids and teens from the home. when i told them i didn't want to go therapy they were relieved. they bought me a cat and told me that it would be okay as long as i would show up to school. that was not the right answer. my mental health deteriorated rapidly and as time went on - i further isolated myself and didn't trust anyone whatsoever.

 

authoritative approach would have worked best for me - and might work for you and your girl too. being firm but loving - giving her options and working through them together - you can't go wrong with that.

 

good luck.

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I am traumatized

 

I cannot read the responses but will remove names and give all of them to hubs.

YOu have no idea how much it helps knowing so many people have responded so carefully.

 

 

My girl just came home, took a shower, and came to me in the hallway.

She reached out her palm which held a small round cardboard container. I thought she was giving me lotion. She kept saying open it, open it.

My girl speaks so softly, like a shy flower. I was confused and paralyzed.

She opened it for me. There was a paper covering. Maybe it used to have makeup.

 

Inside, was a teeny tiny razor. I said, 'oh', gently took the little box out of her hands like it was a precious pearl.

I put it inside my palms, walked into my bedroom, closed the door and stuffed it into an armchair and buried my head in the clothes.

--------------

 

She just went out again. To meet up with a friend. She fairly skipped out the door.

 

 

 

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Teenagers are mercurial like that.

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That's huge that she gave you the razor, and like a gift, it was a big deal to her!  The fact that she's skipping about shows how relieved she feels, probably a huge burden off her shoulders to have finally told you!  Big step!  I would have NEVER told my parents anything I was going through.  I never cut, but was in plenty of other trouble....

 

You guys will get through this!

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Teenagers are mercurial like that.

 

 

the fact that she told you was huge. you should be proud of yourself for being a good mom and having fostered an environment where your teen feels like she can come and talk to you about cutting. try not to lose that. keep those lines open. when i was her age and i was cutting and my friends were cutting - none of us would have felt comfortable talking to our parents. and even if the case where the school contacted a friend of mine's parents about his cutting - his parents still ignored it. pretended like it wasn't happening and minimized the issues that led to his self-harming. that was probably one of the worst things possible. parenting is so hard and parenting a teen is probably the hardest. but you sound like a great mom.

 

there's this fine balance of opening up the lines of communication to her but expressing concern at the same time. and it will be hard. but you're off to a good start (good as can be with your current circumstances obviously).

 

i was younger than her when i started seeing my first therapist - but in retrospect - that was so pivotal to my well-being and mental health. you can explain and go through it with her so that she knows how it will all go but you also have to be firm about it. my parents didn't want me to go to therapy and it was obvious. they told me that the social worker's job was to remove kids and teens from the home. when i told them i didn't want to go therapy they were relieved. they bought me a cat and told me that it would be okay as long as i would show up to school. that was not the right answer. my mental health deteriorated rapidly and as time went on - i further isolated myself and didn't trust anyone whatsoever.

 

authoritative approach would have worked best for me - and might work for you and your girl too. being firm but loving - giving her options and working through them together - you can't go wrong with that.

 

good luck.

 

 

It's rough finding out someone self harms. When my best friend told me he cut I was mad and upset, even though I myself cut. I just don't want anyone to hurt like that. It sounds like you reacted very well. She probably has wanted to tell you for some time now and she finally worked up the courage to do it suddenly. First of all it's not your fault she's cutting. I know my Mum said she felt guilty like she messed me up or something but cutting is just a way to handle emotions. Some people choose work, others alcohol, and some self harm. You said yourself you would pick, so you can understand those urges that are difficult to fight or even notice until it's too late.

 

I think it's the right move to take her to therapy. Professionals deal with people like her every day. My therapist told me straight off that she wasn't going to ask me to stop cutting. She just wanted to help me find other ways to deal with my emotions that could eventually take the place of cutting. This took away the panic of thinking what it would be like to not have that outlet to deal. Do give her control over who she wants to talk to and help her find someone she's comfortable with.

 

I'm sorry you're having to go through this, I know SH hurts more than just one person. Just give her love and space, she obviously wanted you to know and that takes a lot of trust and vulnerability on her part. 

 

 

sorry water. that's awfully hard news to hear.

 

i'm afraid I don't know much about cutting so I can't really provide any help, but it does sound like you're handling it well in front of her. Freaking out internally is okay and understandable.

 

 

Wow, I'm sorry!  Parenting is so tough.  My first instinct is that she wants to go to therapy.  If her friends and her bf have known, and it was a big enough deal that her bf broke up with her because of it, then I'd say telling a parent is a last resort kind of thing because she's hitting rock bottom with it.  Like she knows that putting it in your hands means she'll get the help she needs.  And then asking if this means she'll have to go to therapy, she basically planted the idea in your head but has to pretend that it wasn't her idea, she brought it up, but to say she didn't want to go.  So the subject was brought up.  

 

When I was around 16 I was hurting enough that I wanted to go to therapy, but I was too embarrassed about the stigma, I had mixed feelings about it, but I knew I needed help.  So I acted out a lot until my parents finally "made" me go to therapy.  But because I was so confused about what this meant, I completely sabotaged it, I refused to talk to the therapist, and then after maybe two times I flat out refused to go.  I was testing my parents and testing the therapist, and they all failed.  I really needed someone to "make" me go, but they just gave up.  So one suggestion is to talk the hell out of what therapy is and what it means before she goes, and maybe agree to something ahead of time, like say let's try 5 times with this therapist to see if she's a good fit, and if not we'll try another one.  So the focus will be on finding a good fit, not necessarily on "getting help", which has so much stigma attached to it.  

 

Most importantly, she felt the need to tell you for a reason.... 

 

 

It sounds like you did a great job, actually. 

 

I understand why you'd be freaking out, but remember, she trusted you enough to tell you, which is good. I can imagine it's quite a stress on you, to find this out so suddenly. 

 

What helped me from my family, more than anything, was the knowledge that I could tell them I had cut, if I wanted. I could ask for support. I could ask to talk, or to be hugged. But I didn't have to, and there would be no pressure. I could buy first aid supplies, if I needed, without being judged for it. They cared that I took care of my wounds, and they would ask me periodically if I needed to be seen. But that was mostly so I knew they were still open to talking. They offered to help me, but didn't force me to accept their help. 

 

I think the idea of her telling you before she cuts is a good one. That way you can talk to her about what's going on that has made her feel that way. I also think that her being able to talk to a therapist without having her words trickle back to you may give her a sense of freedom; nothing against you, as it sounds like you're a great mother, but everyone needs private spaces. 

 

If I may make a suggestion, you might consider providing her with first aid supplies and some info on how to care for cuts and do basic first aid. What to watch for. When she needs to come to you and have herself seen for stitches (if that should happen). 

 

 

I'm glad you were able to act in such a way as to calm her but sorry you are hurting. My parents knew since I was 11 but didn't get me help until my high school mandated it or I would not be allowed back in. 

Therapy is a good first step. It will open the lines of communication more so than you can do on your own. 

I may not have kids but I know it's scary, for both sides, to open up about self harm and to talk freely. 

The following resources may help all of you in coping. https://self-injury.net/resources/hotlines-helplines-textlines/crisis-support#crisis-usa

If you want, I will give you my number to give to her if she needs somebody relatively close to her own age (I just turned 23) that has been "been there, done that" to turn to when she is struggling. Message me if that sounds like something you would be interested in. 

I hope all goes well and that she's able to get some help soon. 

Much love, 

Angeni

 

 

(edit: i was being useless)

 

 

I'm going to move this to parenting.

 

 

That's huge that she gave you the razor, and like a gift, it was a big deal to her!  The fact that she's skipping about shows how relieved she feels, probably a huge burden off her shoulders to have finally told you!  Big step!  I would have NEVER told my parents anything I was going through.  I never cut, but was in plenty of other trouble....

 

You guys will get through this!

 

 

Bless you all.

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Someone else who thinks you did a great job.  She obviously trusts you and values you, that she spoke to you about it and gave you the razor.  

 

You are handling this well - help, but not judgement.  I think therapy is good, a therapist she is comfortable with.  

 

I remember when I told my mom about the cutting.  She was sad, and upset, but supportive, and it was such a relief for me.

 

I can't relate to teenage cutting - I started cutting in my 20s while in an abusive relationship and continued afterwards - but for me, I had to make a decision that I didn't want to abuse myself anymore, and that's what I was doing - I cut to punish myself when I'd done something wrong (I've also cut while psychotic, but that's different).  I hope a therapist can help her figure out what her triggers are and why she's doing it and help her stop.  

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It's huge that she was able open up and speak to you about her self-harm. It is also very good that she agreed to go to therapy. I'm sorry this is happening and it must be very scary. Being there, supportive and understanding is the best thing you & your husband can do. It may take her a long time to get over this, depending on how long she's been doing this. But a good support system - her friends, you as her mother, - makes all the difference. I used self-harm from age 8 to 18. I'm 22 now, and I'll admit I still crave it. But it's more than possible to quit & find healthy ways to cope. A good therapist can help her figure out what triggers her, why she feels like she has to harm herself and hopefully help her take steps to stop.

 

Also, I agree with what Mim said; teaching her how to clean her cuts, signs of infection & what to watch out for, etc. It's scary thing to go through as a parent but everything you've been doing helps more than you probably know.

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I think you did a great job! I never could tell my parents about the cutting. I know it hurt them, and I think the fact that they knew I was cutting but I would lie to them about it made it worse. I think it is amazing that she gave you her weapon and that she talked to you so openly. She seems to trust you and feel comfortable around you, and I'm sure your calm reaction and past experience is probably a reason for that. I know my boyfriend had a horrible experience when his parents found out. Essentially his dad just told him to kill himself. It was pretty nasty. And I know a lot of other people who said their parents had similar reactions. I never wanted to tell my parents because they would get upset, and my dad would just go into denial and I had to spell it out to him, and my mom would look like she wanted to cry, and they looked very dissapointed in me. So I never talked to them about it. So I think your calm and supportive nature is honestly amazing. I think it's great that you told her that you would never be mad at her for something she did because she was depressed but that it hurt you. I think that might be the the best response I've ever heard from a parent. 

 

I don't know what to say about the friends knowing and the boyfriend breaking up with her because she said she would stop and she didn't. I wonder how she feels about that. I don't blame the boyfriend, because I'm sure he was freaked out, and upset, and he might have been trying to get her to stop. But she might be hurting because of that. I know my boyfriend and I had a very strict policy about no deals, like the "you cut, I cut" deals. Granted we both were cutters. I also really hope her friends are supportive. I know it can be hard. And I don't how she feels about people knowing. Sometimes hiding can be the hardest part. But, I would mention that she should be a bit careful in who she tells. High school can be cruel. On the other hand, when my friends found out they were more supportive then I could have ever imagined, and they also learned how to prevent me. 

 

Anyway, I think you are doing a great job, and that you should definitely talk to your daughter more about therapy, but don't force her. I know personally for me it was always helpful to hear my mom say that she was proud of me and such when I went to therapy. It made me feel a lot better. 

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How did hubby take the news, water?

He was devastated. Just shattered. But he has recovered far faster than I ever will.  He believes she will stop. I think he told his mother, which I just found out. That is stunning if so. I kind of hope he did not.

 

 

So I think your calm and supportive nature is honestly amazing. I think it's great that you told her that you would never be mad at her for something she did because she was depressed but that it hurt you. I think that might be the the best response I've ever heard from a parent. 

 

 

 

I don't know what to say about the friends knowing and the boyfriend breaking up with her because she said she would stop and she didn't. I wonder how she feels about that. I don't blame the boyfriend, because I'm sure he was freaked out, and upset, and he might have been trying to get her to stop. But she might be hurting because of that. I know my boyfriend and I had a very strict policy about no deals, like the "you cut, I cut" deals. Granted we both were cutters. I also really hope her friends are supportive. I know it can be hard. And I don't how she feels about people knowing. Sometimes hiding can be the hardest part. But, I would mention that she should be a bit careful in who she tells. High school can be cruel. On the other hand, when my friends found out they were more supportive then I could have ever imagined, and they also learned how to prevent me. 

 

 

Thank you Melly. YOu have no idea how much this helps. 

I think she broke up with the boyfriend this week, but that might be because of other issues. 

SHe has told a few good friends. One of those friends might be the reason the therapist I found declined to see us. This friend was also cutting and I think is seeing the same therapists. My girl seems like she had a truck lifted off her shoulders. I am trying not to treat her any differently than before but that is the hardest part for me right now. "If I say no, will she cut?" kind of thoughts. But there is no 'weapon' anymore, and I do believe she wants to stop. And I believe she will let me know if she gets too strong an urge. but I don;t know for sure.

 

 

 

It may take her a long time to get over this, depending on how long she's been doing this. But a good support system - her friends, you as her mother, - makes all the difference. I used self-harm from age 8 to 18. I'm 22 now, and I'll admit I still crave it. But it's more than possible to quit & find healthy ways to cope. A good therapist can help her figure out what triggers her, why she feels like she has to harm herself and hopefully help her take steps to stop.

 

Thank you!! I so wanted to hear that. That there are girls who cut young and actually stop. I think it was been about 3 years, but I do not know how often. This is very hard to bear - the amount of time it went on. I am worried for her because of future cravings. I know all about cravings. And YES! this is what I want the therapist to help her figure out. Where to direct all that anxiety, stress, emotion. A game plan. And also to delve with her, without mom and dad,into the motivations, the reasons for cutting and what that all means. 

 

 

 

 

I remember when I told my mom about the cutting.  She was sad, and upset, but supportive, and it was such a relief for me.

 

I can't relate to teenage cutting - I started cutting in my 20s while in an abusive relationship and continued afterwards - but for me, I had to make a decision that I didn't want to abuse myself anymore, and that's what I was doing - I cut to punish myself when I'd done something wrong (I've also cut while psychotic, but that's different).  I hope a therapist can help her figure out what her triggers are and why she's doing it and help her stop.  

Oh Jarn,this is so hard. Thank you so much for sharing. That is great to know about your mom.  Maybe my girl did cut to punish herself.  I don't know. I wish I had a therapist NOW for her. But I need to calm down. She is calm. Hubs is calm. 

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How did hubby take the news, water?

He was devastated. Just shattered. But he has recovered far faster than I ever will.  He believes she will stop. I think he told his mother, which I just found out. That is stunning if so. I kind of hope he did not.

 

 

So I think your calm and supportive nature is honestly amazing. I think it's great that you told her that you would never be mad at her for something she did because she was depressed but that it hurt you. I think that might be the the best response I've ever heard from a parent. 

 

 

 

I don't know what to say about the friends knowing and the boyfriend breaking up with her because she said she would stop and she didn't. I wonder how she feels about that. I don't blame the boyfriend, because I'm sure he was freaked out, and upset, and he might have been trying to get her to stop. But she might be hurting because of that. I know my boyfriend and I had a very strict policy about no deals, like the "you cut, I cut" deals. Granted we both were cutters. I also really hope her friends are supportive. I know it can be hard. And I don't how she feels about people knowing. Sometimes hiding can be the hardest part. But, I would mention that she should be a bit careful in who she tells. High school can be cruel. On the other hand, when my friends found out they were more supportive then I could have ever imagined, and they also learned how to prevent me.

 

Thank you Melly. YOu have no idea how much this helps. 

I think she broke up with the boyfriend this week, but that might be because of other issues. 

SHe has told a few good friends. One of those friends might be the reason the therapist I found declined to see us. This friend was also cutting and I think is seeing the same therapists. My girl seems like she had a truck lifted off her shoulders. I am trying not to treat her any differently than before but that is the hardest part for me right now. "If I say no, will she cut?" kind of thoughts. But there is no 'weapon' anymore, and I do believe she wants to stop. And I believe she will let me know if she gets too strong an urge. but I don;t know for sure.

 

 

 

It may take her a long time to get over this, depending on how long she's been doing this. But a good support system - her friends, you as her mother, - makes all the difference. I used self-harm from age 8 to 18. I'm 22 now, and I'll admit I still crave it. But it's more than possible to quit & find healthy ways to cope. A good therapist can help her figure out what triggers her, why she feels like she has to harm herself and hopefully help her take steps to stop.

 

Thank you!! I so wanted to hear that. That there are girls who cut young and actually stop. I think it was been about 3 years, but I do not know how often. This is very hard to bear - the amount of time it went on. I am worried for her because of future cravings. I know all about cravings. And YES! this is what I want the therapist to help her figure out. Where to direct all that anxiety, stress, emotion. A game plan. And also to delve with her, without mom and dad,into the motivations, the reasons for cutting and what that all means. 

 

There are definitely people who start cutting young and stop! I started when I was about 14-15 and I'm 19 now and have been clean for about a year, with one or two minor slip ups. Over all I cut for about 2-3 years. I have had friends who have cut as well and have stopped. My boyfriend was like me, we started around the same time (we didn't know each other at the time) and he has for the most part stopped, having very few relapses. I also had a friend who cut. She started a little before me but luckily she would go long periods of time without cutting. To my knowledge she has stopped. I know our senior year she was really good.

Kuddo's to the therapist for not wanting to take two patients that are close to each other. I think thats really good. I know I wouldn't want to see the same therapist that my boyfriend is seeing, I wouldn't feel as free to talk. It might sound strange but it might be a good thing that she has another friend who is in therapy. I don't know if the friend cuts. But obviously your daughter won't worry about that friend being judgmental about seeing a therapist. It's great that they are both seeking help and that probably means that they will both have each other for support. My friends who knew I cut really helped when I was trying to quit because they were also trying to quit, so we tried to help each other. We kept an eye out for one another. One thing I certainly caution against is the idea of "You cut, I cut." I know some parents and people say that thinking it will be helpful, but I honestly never found it helpful at all.

I think your daughter honestly sounds like she is going to beat this. She sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders, a supportive family and understanding friends. The rest of the journey is up to her. But she sounds like she is trying to change, and I think she will be successful.

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It's all been said. Water, you are a very good mom indeed.

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