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I was just wondering if anyone else looks back after feeling depressed and thinks they were overreacting?

I have been feeling really miserable for a few weeks, and had a change of meds about 10 days ago, and today I am actually feeling better. I even managed to do some gardening (progress for me). I noticed this afternoon I was thinking to myself that I wasn'the actually that miserable, and if I had tried harder I could have kept moving.

When I try to be objective, I know that weeping on and off all day and being unable to leave the house isn't normal for me, but I seem to criticize myself afterwards for being a bit lazy.

Has anyone else done this? I'm making an effort to be nicer to myself in future.

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I definitely think we can affect our mood with our thinking and actions, but that doesn't mean we have access to that skill all the time.  A lot of times there is no pulling yourself up by your bootstraps; its seemingly impossible.  So don't guilt yourself.  Just treasure those times when you are able to feel better and try to nurture that feeling.

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I think it's normal that once you are out of any hard situation, it's easy to forget how bad it was because you don't feel that way anymore (just like the opposite, when you're depressed, you can't imagine that you'll EVER feel better again, or even when you're hypomanic, you can feel that you'll never feel bad again).  There's even a term called labor amnesia, where after you birth a baby you completely forget how painful it was.  So I think it's normal in any extreme of feeling to not remember how bad it was.  Hence, I can see how you could second guess....

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I often feel like I'm lazy when I'm depressed - that if I just tried harder, I wouldn't be depressed, I could make it into work.  Same thing with my psychotic features...if I try harder, they won't happen.  

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I'm in the middle of a depressive episode...and feeling like that. Like if I would just DO SOMETHING I would feel better...and that this mood swing is all my own fault anyway. I won't let anyone in to fix it, so my fault. My friend even offered to go hang out today, and I turned her down...I guess I'd rather wallow in my own pity. Tomorrow, I will pretend to be ok while I'm at work...I can fall back apart after 245...and I'm sure I will.

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I always feel like that after a depressive episode. I feel like that a lot during depressive episodes too. Like I'll sit around and do hardly anything for an entire day and then when it's real late at night I start hating on myself for wasting the entire day doing nothing but watching netflix and taking naps. It never changes. It sucks. I have the day off tomorrow and I know that's how it will be. Again.

I can never seem to convince myself of this but I'm going to say it to you anyway because I know it's true....Please don't feel guilty, please don't second guess it or beat yourself up about it. When you're in so much pain, a lot of the time you really just can't do anything. You just cant. And that's not your fault.

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I'm in the middle of a depressive episode...and feeling like that. Like if I would just DO SOMETHING I would feel better...and that this mood swing is all my own fault anyway. I won't let anyone in to fix it, so my fault. My friend even offered to go hang out today, and I turned her down...I guess I'd rather wallow in my own pity. Tomorrow, I will pretend to be ok while I'm at work...I can fall back apart after 245...and I'm sure I will.

 

This is *exactly* how I feel right now.

 

I'm also familiar with thinking back on depressed times and thinking there was no way they were that bad and that I was definitely overreacting.  Everything here is hitting really close to home.

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It's hard to be kind to yourself when you're depressed. I get the most negative thoughts (well,  I don't have much depression anymore, just mixed episodes) and can't do anything because it's too much, or it's too frustrating, which makes me more frustrated.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this shit right now. Don't blame yourself. Just try and be kind to yourself. Contact your doc if it gets worse - there is help. And posting here helps tonnes for me. 

 

I often look back on various episodes and see overreaction. But that's the disease talking.

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