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Does anyone else feel hostility and irritability towards people?     I have social anxiety anyway but this feels different, I literally feel like everyone is a fucking moron who has been put on this earth to make my life more difficult. I feel on edge, restless and really angry about loud noises, being touched or having anyone in my personal space bubble, etc.  The one person who I was getting on well with is now starting to piss me off and I'm seriously thinking about just cutting them off, even though this isn't logical at all.   

 

At the moment I generally feel flat and unable to concentrate or enjoy anything.. The fatigue has returned along with the aches and pains which isn't helping.   I assume this is a sign of worsening depression?

 

I have a pdoc appointment next month but I hold little hope they can offer me anything anyway and I'm not sure how to explain all of this to them either.   Ativan is the only thing that helps take the edge off at the moment but obviously you can't go popping Benzos all day every day. 

 

 

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Does anyone else feel hostility and irritability towards people?  

 

Yes, when I am angry in general at any little thing (or big thing).  Whether I show it or not, I am very hostile towards just about everyone, and extremely irritable, like 'Don't fuck with me right now' type-thing.  Sometimes I take it out on people, but subtly. *Usually* they don't realize it, but there are exceptions where some people do.

 

Also, sometimes I just wake up this way, and want nothing to do with people.  I feel hostile and irritable towards everyone, so I make a big effort to stay away from people because I don't want to say or do something I'd regret.

 

But in general, I stay away when I am angry at anything, or I wake up this way.  Sometimes everything will make me angry  I feel like i am always right, as in their thoughts/ideas are all wrong, and I will look at them like WTF are you talking about if they say something.  I just have a huge chip on my shoulder. 

 

 

At the moment I generally feel flat and unable to concentrate or enjoy anything.. The fatigue has returned along with the aches and pains which isn't helping.   I assume this is a sign of worsening depression?

 

I think it could be a sign of  worsening depression.  Maybe call your pdoc for an earlier appt, so this doesn't spiral out of control. (Not saying it will, but you never know).

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Yes, when I am angry in general at any little thing (or big thing).  Whether I show it or not, I am very hostile towards just about everyone, and extremely irritable, like 'Don't fuck with me right now' type-thing.  Sometimes I take it out on people, but subtly. *Usually* they don't realize it, but there are exceptions where some people do.

 

Also, sometimes I just wake up this way, and want nothing to do with people.  I feel hostile and irritable towards everyone, so I make a big effort to stay away from people because I don't want to say or do something I'd regret.

 

But in general, I stay away when I am angry at anything, or I wake up this way.  Sometimes everything will make me angry  I feel like i am always right, as in their thoughts/ideas are all wrong, and I will look at them like WTF are you talking about if they say something.  I just have a huge chip on my shoulder. 

 

 

 

I think it could be a sign of  worsening depression.  Maybe call your pdoc for an earlier appt, so this doesn't spiral out of control. (Not saying it will, but you never know).

 

thanks for the reply.  The bit in bold is how I feel all the time.  I'm either anxious and unable to speak to people (almost mute) or I get frustrated and swing the other way;  talking to them with contempt. 

 

I'm seeing my GP next week so I will discuss with them.   This is the NHS system I think the chances of getting the pdoc appointment moved forward are close to zero, unless I have some kind of homicidal breakdown before then. 

 

I'm trying to compose a letter for the pdoc appointment as it will be my first and I want to give them as much background info on symptoms and previous meds as possible.  The problem is seeing it all written down makes me think "wow, I really am batshit, normal people don't have all this crap going on".   Plus the letter is long and I don' t know if they will read it or not. 

 

My concentration is so bad and I procrastinate so much I really wonder if I could have ADD or something. 

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How about writing a letter and mailing it to your pdoc ahead of time ... that way it will be read by the time you get there, and it will save some time during your appt.

 

Just make sure to keep a copy for yourself and bring a copy to the appt with you for reference.

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i note that your DX is different than mine, however you have described what is a mixed state for me. It's like angry depressed. It also comes and goes, I truely cannot stand people, around me, talking to me or in general, then I go flat, uncaring withdrawn. It's the part for me that has been the hardest to treat.

I would reach out to your pdoc of you can, it maybe be a meds tweak. I have also had some succes working with my Tdoc trying to reduce anxiety levels so I don't rely on benzo's.

Edited by dragonfly23

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i note that your DX is different than mine, however you have described what is a mixed state for me. It's like angry depressed. It also comes and goes, I truely cannot stand people, around me, talking to me or in general, then I go flat, uncaring withdrawn. It's the part for me that has been the hardest to treat.

I would reach out to your pdoc of you can, it maybe be a meds tweak. I have also had some succes working with my Tdoc trying to reduce anxiety levels so I don't rely on benzo's.

I don't think I have BP but I certainly get a weird mix of restlessness, agitation and depression at the same time.  I find most antidepressants (excluding my current one) have made this worse too. 

 

I think I will write to the pdoc but the cynic in me feels they wont read it or will just categorize me as a 'high maintenance' patient.  

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I can relate. Irritability is often a sign that my depression is changing (usually getting worse). I wonder if the changing of the seasons could be messing with your mood? You mentioned that you have a doctor's appointment coming up. Perhaps you could ask the doctor if you could benefit from a light box. If there is any SAD component to your mood right now, the light box might help.

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i note that your DX is different than mine, however you have described what is a mixed state for me. It's like angry depressed. It also comes and goes, I truely cannot stand people, around me, talking to me or in general, then I go flat, uncaring withdrawn. It's the part for me that has been the hardest to treat.

I would reach out to your pdoc of you can, it maybe be a meds tweak. I have also had some succes working with my Tdoc trying to reduce anxiety levels so I don't rely on benzo's.

I don't think I have BP but I certainly get a weird mix of restlessness, agitation and depression at the same time.  I find most antidepressants (excluding my current one) have made this worse too. 

 

I think I will write to the pdoc but the cynic in me feels they wont read it or will just categorize me as a 'high maintenance' patient.

If you need help you need help, who cares what they think...

I was treated for MDD with anti depressants, this caused a mix state for me and my DX was changed to bp2.

Anti depressants made me much worse.

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I am extremely irritable in a Wal-Mart or other crowded big box store. Or a crowded grocery store, esp. a place with loud children, unsupervised brats running around, or obnoxious adults. Don't like having people behind me in line, either. Traffic is just as bad, too. Honking horns or tailgaters make me want to slap them all. And now the holidays are here, and its just as bad if not worse. I refuse to do Black Friday and avoid big stores until after January 1 if at all possible.

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Or a crowded grocery store, esp. a place with loud children, unsupervised brats running around, or obnoxious adults.

 

^^THIS.

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I'm annoyed with myself for letting my irritability and  unhappiness overflow though.  I often end up making complaints and getting worked up about things that I know will not be changed by doing so... it is almost a self-sabotage technique.  Anyway, I then end up alienating decent people who may have actually be able to help me.

 

today I feel like I am completely behind a glass wall..... everything seems unreal.  My anxiety is quite high and free floating and my motivation to get some study done is zero.   I cancelled my GP appointment yesterday because I just couldn't face going, even though I need to talk to someone and I actually have a real physical issue that needs addressing too. 

 

Such an idiot. 

Edited by crazyguy

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No, you're not an idiot. We all do such things when we are suffering from depression and anxiety. Can you reschedule the appointment?

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No, you're not an idiot. We all do such things when we are suffering from depression and anxiety. Can you reschedule the appointment?

Yep, I have rescheduled.  I'm glad I'm not the only one making weird decisions due to my mood anyway.   Tomorrow promises to be an interesting day.... group study with people I have little time for and having not done what I was supposed to do.  Brilliant. 

 

Ho hum.. 

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I get angry-depressed, I get a hair-trigger temper, or at least I used to...but I also have PTSD and a dissociative disorder.

So what the cause is? Is it my mood, the fact that I was triggered, or was it Shawn deciding someone was a threat and snarling at them so they'd back the fuck off?

...there's a possibility I'm bipolar 2 because a mood stabilizer ( topamax ) has helped the crap out of me. But I have never even been hypomanic, just depressed with some pretty bad agitation.

I know a working med regimen keeps me from being an asshole unless extremely warranted, and I like not being an asshole.

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I get angry-depressed, I get a hair-trigger temper, or at least I used to...but I also have PTSD and a dissociative disorder.

So what the cause is? Is it my mood, the fact that I was triggered, or was it Shawn deciding someone was a threat and snarling at them so they'd back the fuck off?

...there's a possibility I'm bipolar 2 because a mood stabilizer ( topamax ) has helped the crap out of me. But I have never even been hypomanic, just depressed with some pretty bad agitation.

I know a working med regimen keeps me from being an asshole unless extremely warranted, and I like not being an asshole.

TBH I quite enjoy being an asshole sometimes, that might be the problem.   For some reason there is something soothing about attempting to make other people feel shitty when you feel shit yourself.    Note I am aware this is not a nice or healthy attitude to have. 

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woke up this morning and was fine.  By noon I was angry with everyone and everything.  This has not happened since May.  I was driving home from a trip (a 4 hour drive) and I was so mad at the other drives I had to stop driving.  One of my friends was with me so she took over.  Once I got home the feeling was even worse.  I don't know if this is depression or maina kicking in but I wish it would stop.

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I feel on edge, restless and really angry about loud noises, being touched or having anyone in my personal space bubble, etc.

ALL. THE. TIME.

But I have very agitated depressions along with ADHD. I found breathing and other coping skills helpful, as well as my dose of Depakote, which has been life changing.

Could it be your current AD?

Edited by mjs190

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I feel on edge, restless and really angry about loud noises, being touched or having anyone in my personal space bubble, etc.

ALL. THE. TIME.

But I have very agitated depressions along with ADHD. I found breathing and other coping skills helpful, as well as my dose of Depakote, which has been life changing.

Could it be your current AD?

 

Good question....  I have been like this when I have been off medication too.  Certain medications in the past (in particular SSRI & effexor) made these symptoms WORSE, but I don't believe the current med is making a lot of difference either way.    I can have days when I feel calm and great and days like yesterday when I end up taking 2mg of Lorazepam just to stop my head exploding with racing thoughts. 

 

How did you find out you had ADHD?  Can an adult be diagnosed with that? 

Edited by crazyguy

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I'm definitely prone to the irritable type of depression; I was particularly bad as an undiagnosed teenager. I find everyone annoying and can't seem to brush off the little things, the frustration just builds up until I want to explode. I can only bear to be by myself, being with other people is almost painful. Loud noise is also the worst but I have chronic headache issues so it tends to hurt. 

 

It is definitely a sign of depression for me. It's kind of not surprising because my dad gets super irritable when he is stressed and depressed, and my maternal grandmother has serious anger + depression issues.

 

Funnily enough, venlafaxine helps me with this, at least a bit. I'm less depressed and have less uncontrollable anxiety. I think it also has a sedating side effect for me at this dose, which is annoying but may also help. I also get a sort of agitated angry depression when I don't even get annoyed at people, I just feel hurt and destructive. Venlafaxine is less helpful with this.

 

Deep breathing (right down into the bottom of my belly) is the most effective thing for me in the short term (other than benzos but I doubt anyone would prescribe those long term).

 

Exercising hard, like running, sometimes also helps but my physical health isn't good enough for me to do that often. Like, if I exercise sufficiently I'll get so tired I'll be in bed the rest of the day and also feel wiped out the next day.

 

I kind of suspect ADHD type things as well as I'm ridiculously absent minded and can't function without coffee if I need to pay attention to something. I wonder if there is some kind of connection.

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I feel this way sometimes when I'm home alone and thinking about the world in general; I mean if you live in the U.S., you are likely immediately surrounded by a large number of anti-intellectual morons  :) . To feel that way towards people personally though, in public, I have to be in a particularly hostile mood...usually if I haven't been sleeping well  and/or been to the gym 

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