NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 I'm having rational Depression. Other unknowns also, as I found this place today. (For me.) I would like to be and have that for which is my unique and unconventional self within this world. Bad days for me are like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa_K Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 Hey nimbusbirdmapMgp3...Sorry to hear things arent going so well right now...I am however glad that you have made it to the the boards...maybe you can find some info and support in some of the forums...I know this place has helped me with everything from severe depression to epilepsy...anyway, welcome to Crazyboards, and if you need anything, feel free to PM me anytime, c you around....Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemini Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 Nimbus -- Your thoughts seem somewhat disorganized in a way that is a defining aspect of psychosis or schizophrenia. I don't know you and don't know what problems you may have, but it sounds like taking walks in the woods and enjoying the grey weather you say you like may be a way to calm your thoughts and feel less agitated? The reason I'm not suggesting any medications is that I'm not a psychiatrist. Welcome to CB anyway. It's a good place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
headcase Posted December 10, 2005 Share Posted December 10, 2005 Hi Nim,i know you from another board,i pm,d you there,you need to talk about any thing feel free to pm me.Shaz36 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 Nimbus -- Your thoughts seem somewhat disorganized in a way that is a defining aspect of psychosis or schizophrenia. I don't know you and don't know what problems you may have, but it sounds like taking walks in the woods and enjoying the grey weather you say you like may be a way to calm your thoughts and feel less agitated? The reason I'm not suggesting any medications is that I'm not a psychiatrist. Welcome to CB anyway. It's a good place. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yes. Grammer is very difficult for me. I have been diagnoised with schizophrenia. It seems. Not sure that it would be a really bad case for me. But so many other things effects me in ways as the climate does with me also. It effects me at reading very slowly and it takes me a very long time to write down what I do write or type out. This world doesn't give me enough time to catch up with the pace others have going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 Hi Nim,i know you from another board,i pm,d you there,you need to talk about any thing feel free to pm me.Shaz36 <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I got your PM. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 About this saying of myself ... "Knowning that I could be a great boat, but to see it resting on a dessert parched ground. My Contentment in Life to Sail the waters is being the most elusive thing with my life." This is the metaphor, in the way I'm seeing my frustrations and depressions in life. Another one could be ... "Knowning that I could be a great airplain, but to see it parked on the ground. My Contentment in Life to Fly the Skys is being the most elusive thing with my life" What I would like to have is finding that sexy women, I've always wanted in my life and has never allowed me the intimacy, to give me that sense of empathy, that would let me know that I'm relavent with others. I hate the elusiveness, where I'm not understood, in that which I will never understand the relavancy of others. Because that elusiveness, only annoys me to think of my vain socialness with those, that live a different interest and lifestyle from the kinds I like with more peace and serenity to discovering the adventures of Science and Nature around me. I like to be somewhat of an Architect with life and not be of the popular crowd. There is some Philosophies of Science and Nature, in which I like finding the Aesthetics and Meanings they represent of Life and being able to have the healthy yoga, meditations and contentment of relishing these experiences, that the world doen't take the time to get involved in. And to me, the meaning of sexual intimacy, isn't a manic thing, but finding that it does more than propragate life. I think this is what does more for our mental health. But I think the world and religion has tabooed on it too much and we are the results of that. So it depresses me, because I can't make this secret understood, from a world that only knows what it knows and stereotypes me from it. Of course I'm just scratching the surface about myself here. And it's hard to get into a lot of detail and make it all better understood. For generalizing a bit of those things about me now. Maybe I can get into the depths here later (?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemini Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 Well I'll keep reading if you keep sharing. I follow most of what you've written. It's a good thing to be sharing stuff, I think. Do you like being outdoors? Ever go hiking in the woods? It's very peaceful and has amazing effects on the mind. It sometimes feels to me as if all the chaos and different energies that accumulate in me get released in the woods or the mountains. Like those places just naturally balance your energies. I always come back clearer headed. I could use it a lot right now but it's too damn cold. This world doesn't give me enough time to catch up with the pace others have going. I can relate to that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 Do you like being outdoors? Ever go hiking in the woods? It's very peaceful and has amazing effects on the mind. It sometimes feels to me as if all the chaos and different energies that accumulate in me get released in the woods or the mountains. Like those places just naturally balance your energies. I always come back clearer headed. I could use it a lot right now but it's too damn cold. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Where I have been, has 90% clear and sunny out of the year. This is what I hate with a Passion. It irratates me so much. If it's cloudy, foggy and rainy. Then I could like the outdoors. And with it being 90% clear and sunny where I live. It has habitually made me like staying indoors. I have to work outdoors. After my work outdoors, I get tired of it. I hate Sacramento, California's climate. This is December now and it only had 2 cloudy and rainy days. These other 8 days so far has been radically at being 100% totally clear and Sunny. Even this month is depressing me, because it isn't being cloudy, foggy and having more rain then it should for this time of year. I tried doing Bird Watching back in 1985, 1986 and 1987. Always find the women I find sexy already taken. And the clear and sunny weather got me so frustrated, I vowed not to go outside again, unless it is totally cloudy out. And as if what I wanted wasn't good enough, I've seen it more elusive, when I want it to be as such. I see the days with total 100% clear and sunny! And the idea to travel, has worked against me, because my vehicle comes up having problems and making my financial matters worse. Having to take it to the shop, to get alternators and all the stuff imaginable goes out all the time. Costing me thousands of dollars in debt. Then my dental problems have been another thing for the last 20 years and it's been every year, giving me financial debt problems. If my vehicle didn't have maintainance problems and I could get snow chains for the tires, I've thought about taking a trip to the mountians to see, if I could get a chance to see some snow. But that never has worked out for me. I only find the outdoors only good enough when it has the gray overcast. If not, I like the indoors most of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemini Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 This may sound really stupid (and it may be really stupid), but does it make a difference to wear sunglasses and sunblock? A lot of people don't know how much sunlight has an effect on mood, other than most people think of sunny days as happy. If your mind is easily agitated, too much sunlight could make this worse, but if you protect your eyes and skin it may feel more like a cloudy day does. I wish I could trade locations with you. It's been grey and overcast and snowy here most days for a couple weeks now. I like California weather, though I'd want to live as far from L.A. as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 This may sound really stupid (and it may be really stupid), but does it make a difference to wear sunglasses and sunblock? A lot of people don't know how much sunlight has an effect on mood, other than most people think of sunny days as happy. If your mind is easily agitated, too much sunlight could make this worse, but if you protect your eyes and skin it may feel more like a cloudy day does. I wish I could trade locations with you. It's been grey and overcast and snowy here most days for a couple weeks now. I like California weather, though I'd want to live as far from L.A. as possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemini Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 It sounds like the Northwest would be nice. I feel for you not knowing how you could make such a move without help. What kind of work do you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 I also forgot to mention that I have to wear prescribed glasses to see distant things from me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemini Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 My father left when I was a few months old, but has stayed in touch enough to be able to disown me earlier this year. I was born the same year you entered the Navy, in upstate New York, but we moved within a year to the Boston area. Moved around growing up, sometimes within state, sometimes not. Lived in different towns around Boston, Philadelphia, and Athens, GA where I spent summers in my teens visiting my father. Sorry this isn't about me. BTW, share whatever you like. Some people do post bio/history stuff in the Springer Boards area. I studied architecture very briefly this year, did a semester of school for it. I have always liked building things and always been sort of torn between wanting creating things and building things. So now I'm doing carpentry, but as an apprentice basically. I notice you are much much clearer in your last post. I don't know if that's because you can focus in on what you're saying or because you took a pill Do you notice things that make you more focused and clear-headed? I don't mean to pry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 11, 2005 Author Share Posted December 11, 2005 I notice you are much much clearer in your last post. I don't know if that's because you can focus in on what you're saying or because you took a pill Do you notice things that make you more focused and clear-headed? I don't mean to pry. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Didn't notice anything different. I'm not taking any medications. There are times I can think better than other times. It comes and goes I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jemini Posted December 11, 2005 Share Posted December 11, 2005 Huh. Well you sound clearer than you did, for whatever reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NimbusBirdMgp3 Posted December 19, 2005 Author Share Posted December 19, 2005 See if I could show a Picture of me ... I take it back. Seems people like to suppress and repress emotions. That's what I notice about medications. To suppress and repress emotions. I think this world sucks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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