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When having an episode what do you halluciniate/go through?


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 When i had my first epsiode 8 months ago i thought an occult where after me, traffic lights showed me which way to go, i picked rubbish up under a bridge thought it was meaningful , hallucinated people, objects,  t.v communicated with me & also thought i was talking to a former friend online when i wasn't. Music and books spoke to me.. When having an episode what do you halluciniate/go through?

Edited by littlemisschatterbox
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Basically, I thought that I was a super genius/greatest hacker in the world and that the CIA wanted to recruit me. I believed that I received special messages from Google, and that they were in fact from the CIA. I also thought that everyone in my town had been recruited by the CIA to spy on me/"recondition" me to work for the CIA. I also believed that the TV was taken over by the CIA and was being used to broadcast messages directly to me. I felt like I was on top of the world, basically. This false sense of supriority didn't last long though, and soon, perhaps a few days after the psychosis stopped, I got into a severe depressive episode.

 

So yeah, this is how it was for me. There was more to it - feel free to ask about the details if you want.

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I think I am a demi god. I still do even on meds. I think that I am daughter of Athena, the greek god. She talks to me. I see her image. She sends me messages. I talk to her. She gives me ideas and advice. I also see people, animals ect. so much more

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I have seen demons, bugs and people out of the corner of my eye. Also, I think that people follow me, are monitoring me from outside, are in my or my husband's car waiting to attack me/husband. Once while driving I had a delusion that I was having a stroke and was going to pass out, then my legs felt like they weren't there. That was scary.

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I thought God and Satan were talking to me through yoga and sign language. I thought I was opening my chakras and becoming enlightened. I thought the whole universe was sending me messages in numbers etc. I thought I was Nephthys, the Egyptian Goddess. All of my theology was mixed together. I thought I was learning the secrets of the Universe.

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I thought I was a CIA and NSA spy (If I am, I surely am certainly unaware of it). Also, I heard "God" regularly and thought the end of the world was coming. Thought I was being remote controlled by the military through communication towers and constantly monitored. Thought I could see angels and demons. I spent a lot of time communicating telepathically. Mostly delusions.

 

I had one visual hallucination. I was looking at my reflection in the window and it certainly was not me. I drew a picture of it the next day. Kinda creepy.  

Edited by Equivilency
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I hear angry voices and they often yell at me. I also see people with two heads and I've had people walk right up to me only to disappear in front of my eyes. As a result I hate it when people I don't know get too physically close and I don't often socialize as I often have no idea whether the people I'm seeing are real or not. I also constantly hear TV and radio programs - even when the TV is turned off and I don't even own a radio but I still hear it and a few times I've heard my name being mentioned and they talk about how there has been a microchip put into my brain and that my thoughts are being stolen through radio waves. I also try to avoid looking people straight in the eyes for a long period of time as they can also steal my thoughts this way.

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The voices tell me that I'm a loser when I am in my bedroom only.  I hear their echo, not a "real" voice, but it is said over and over and over again until I leave the room.  This is there regardless of an episode, but definitely gets worse then, with more/different cut-downs when I am hallucinating more.

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I had a really bad episode a few months ago. I thought it was a bad reaction to lexapro, but talked to pdoc at appointment this week and he thought it was just my condition getting worse. Abilify seems to be keeping it in check, thankfully. Anyway, the worst psychoses I had were:

1) I thought God had sent me on a secret mission to honor Him. This involved writing a mass that would somehow send Satan to another plane;

2) I thought I had died and gone to hell. This was really awful, and all,vestiges of reality were gone; and

3) I received "morse" code in my right ear, only it wasn't morse code. More like the sound a hard drive makes. Anyway, it was from a secret government cabal (or possibly aliens, as it was never entirely clear) that wanted me to murder a couple handfuls of people in the most gruesome of ways,,and then off myself (no loose ends).

I also had a delusion where I thought I was gonna start a great new life as a prostitute. I drained my bank account and moved to a Honolulu hotel room for a month. I was a super-slut, but never got a dime. Shoulda stayed in LA where I was propositioned. LOLOLOL.

P.S. The Queen's medical center is the best loony bin if you're gonna lose it. Plus everyone there is even more insane than you are, so it makes you feel good. I hope I end up there if I ever go completely bonkers again.

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The voices tell me that I'm a loser when I am in my bedroom only.  I hear their echo, not a "real" voice, but it is said over and over and over again until I leave the room.  This is there regardless of an episode, but definitely gets worse then, with more/different cut-downs when I am hallucinating more.

I had this before. What is it with beating you up in your bedroom?¿? That's where most of my worst hallucinations happen. Not when I'm asleep, Mind you.

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I hear angry voices and they often yell at me. I also see people with two heads and I've had people walk right up to me only to disappear in front of my eyes. As a result I hate it when people I don't know get too physically close and I don't often socialize as I often have no idea whether the people I'm seeing are real or not. I also constantly hear TV and radio programs - even when the TV is turned off and I don't even own a radio but I still hear it and a few times I've heard my name being mentioned and they talk about how there has been a microchip put into my brain and that my thoughts are being stolen through radio waves. I also try to avoid looking people straight in the eyes for a long period of time as they can also steal my thoughts this way.

I HATE that!¡!

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The voices tell me that I'm a loser when I am in my bedroom only.  I hear their echo, not a "real" voice, but it is said over and over and over again until I leave the room.  This is there regardless of an episode, but definitely gets worse then, with more/different cut-downs when I am hallucinating more.

I had this before. What is it with beating you up in your bedroom?¿? That's where most of my worst hallucinations happen. Not when I'm asleep, Mind you.

 

 

Idk why only the bedroom.  It has been like that for a long time. 

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I hear angry voices and they often yell at me. I also see people with two heads and I've had people walk right up to me only to disappear in front of my eyes. As a result I hate it when people I don't know get too physically close and I don't often socialize as I often have no idea whether the people I'm seeing are real or not. I also constantly hear TV and radio programs - even when the TV is turned off and I don't even own a radio but I still hear it and a few times I've heard my name being mentioned and they talk about how there has been a microchip put into my brain and that my thoughts are being stolen through radio waves. I also try to avoid looking people straight in the eyes for a long period of time as they can also steal my thoughts this way.

I HATE that!¡!

It drives me up the wall!

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