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Anyone else have those 'That'll show them' thoughts?


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How can I delete this thread? Reading my post just made me sad. 

I'm sorry.

don't know if this helps but I was going to respond and say yes.

 

That was/is a common background thought for me.

Comes from my non parenting parents.

As if I say to myself, "if I cut off my arm and leg, then that will show them!"

Meaning in actuality, "maybe if I hurt so much they will notice me?"

 

Now it something that finally sets off warning bells.

When I am feeling 'that'll show 'em!", something is hurting inside and needs attention. Positive attention.

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I felt bad because when I saw it written down it seemed really dark and I guess I realized how badly I need to change my way of thinking.  Thanks for the replies guys. I'll just post it

 

"People who say that I am so happy, so friendly and put together and positive assume so many things. Sometimes I daydream about being executed in a public place where everyone I know would witness it. It wouldn't be stoic either. I'd go kicking and screaming. It's a terrible, terrible thing I know but it's an attention thing like they would all feel sorry for me or something. I do my utmost to conceal my problems from people because they have their own problems to deal with and most of it isn't their business anyways. But in my daydream it's like I'd want them all to know the crap I fight constantly. 

 

Again with the disclaimer, I would never actually drag someone into my pain and I certainly don't really want people to feel guilty for what choices I make myself. 

 

But does anyone else have those thoughts where you would want to shock someone and be like 'You had no idea did you?'

Any thoughts as to why? Is it just an egotistical thing?"

 

​It's a weird feeling because I don't want anyone else to know but at the same time... blah. 

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