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I feel like im faking depression ,like anytime i could just snap out of it and be fine, i feel like i'm just being overly dramatic. people tell me that i dont need to be medicated and i listen to them. i recently put in a claim for disabilty and this was denied this also makes me think i just need to man up because if i cant get disability everything must be ok with me.

 

anyone have these thoughts?

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I used to feel that way in my early to mid teens. Maybe you will understand why I no longer feel that way.

 

I listen to practically nobody else (of course there are exceptions) when it comes to my feelings for one simple reason, other people don't have to pay any sort of price if they are wrong about what I need.

 

A few people have told me that I am crazy to take Lithium (not realising the irony) and that I should stop taking it immediately. Will any of those people clean up after me if I stop taking Lithium, mania kicks in, I bankrupt myself and I end up in hospital? Of course they won't.

 

You know your feelings better than anyone else. Go explain them to a doctor who will actually have an interest in making you improve.

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I used to.  But when I went off all my meds and became psychotic, I realized there was a problem, and that I needed the meds to have some sort of life without the psychosis (as best it can be).  If I question anything now all I have to do is go off a med and I'll get a reality check (although I haven't needed to do this, it would be a quick way for me to "check").

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90% of people are denied disability.

The meds have side effects.

The side effects of NOT taking meds are having a life that sucks, no career, no happiness, no impetus to fix that, and possibly killing yourself.

The former is usually easier to live with.

I mean, why would you CHOOSE to feel like hammered batshit???

Edited by Stickler
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Depression is a bastard and it will tell you all sorts of things to make you feel like crap about yourself.  When you have this thought, perhaps you could immediately say to yourself, "I am not faking.  I am a good person who wants to feel good.

 

I got denied disability the first time around, but got it when I appealed.  You might consider appealing yourself.  Like Stickler said, most people do get turned down the first time they apply.

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You are not faking, who would want to fake feeling like this?

 

I don't know what it is like in your country,  but here in the UK getting disability benefits is only loosely related to how sick you actually are.  The decision seems to come down to whether the assessor likes your face or not,  and the system is biased against those with MI as well.   Can you appeal? 

Edited by crazyguy
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I have felt like this. But the reality of my life proves to me that I am not a fake. Depression cost me so much promise and lost opportunities that there is no way that someone who is faking would allow it to happen. Depression has destroyed my life.

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i guess you right, who would fake something that completly destroys their life, and regarding the appeal thats possible, the guy who did my assesment doesnt know what he is talking about, im just frustrated i was able to access disability employment services while my application was pending to help me find work and now that i have been declined that has been taking away which is very frustrating.

 

thanks for the advice all i feel better today.

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I feel like im faking depression ,like anytime i could just snap out of it and be fine, i feel like i'm just being overly dramatic. people tell me that i dont need to be medicated and i listen to them. i recently put in a claim for disabilty and this was denied this also makes me think i just need to man up because if i cant get disability everything must be ok with me.

 

anyone have these thoughts?

Doubting your diagnosis is common. It's counterproductive, unfortunately.
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