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I have head banged and punched myself in the head a long time and I have trouble taking it seriously. My post to my favorite earrings snapped off (lol they didn't i was confused does that mean I'm OK) and the dog started barking even with the shower on I don't know I think I'm going to get found out and should probably take it seriously because the impulses are increasing in frequency and severity.

I guess I wish for exhortations to tell a therapist and perhaps ways to decrease time between impulse and punch to try to think about it.

I don't know I guess I have a hard time getting past the embarrassment and the feeling it is not real si, and plus it's invisible, it's OK.

Edited by evilnessness
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Self harm is self harm.

 

It doesn't matter what the specific form of the self harm takes.

 

I hope that you find ways to talk to a tdoc about this because it is important.

 

In addition, there's a whole long list of things pinned at the top of this board to help delay and distract... "Today I wanted to self harm but instead..."

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I have seen that whole long list but I have not read it all or even much because it is whole and long and a lot of the methods do not address how immediate the impulse can be gratified when it does not require tools and preparation, just being alone. Someone almost certainly addresses it, and trich coping can probably help this too, but i can't read it all and searching for head punching got a single thread. Therefore, i asked for more specific advice, though i have seen the whole long list of pinned things.

I often do not consider it if I am alone before I am hitting myself and I would like to stop the immediacy and give myself time to think twice. I mean I can think about it after I've punched myself already but then I have already done it. I've had some success slapping myself or screaming if I'm truly alone and delay slightly and could possibly train myself into that while working on impulse behavior. I have also sat in McDonald's when I know I am likely to do some weird things when alone. I guess I can read about impulsive behavior reduction as well.

Edited by evilnessness
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You may not realize this, but the SKILL IS THE SAME... it doesn't matter what the specific urge is...  The idea is to put distance between thought and action. And if you can't do that, then do things that minimize the harm you can cause to yourself until you are able or willing to stop.

 

It is also the same skill required to stop smoking or use dugs, stop overspending or binge eating...

 

It's the same skills set needed to stop any unwanted behavior.

 

Often what helps is to start identifying as much as you can what your body feels like, what specific thoughts and emotions you have, and what specific circumstances are likely to lead to the problem (punching yourself). Once you have that data, the next step is to start identifying ways that you could potentially intervene, even if you are identifying this after the fact. A behavior chain analysis is a really good way to start looking for places to intervene if you don't feel like you can stop the behavior because it happens too quickly.

 

ETA: I disagree that a lot of what's pinned in the "today I wanted to self harm" does NOT apply. A LOT of what's in that thread, yes it's long, is about people doing one of three things... delaying acting on the urge, distracting from the urge, and deciding to make a decision about acting on the urge later.

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Thank you for the informative message. I appreciate it.

I thought about techniques I've used for similar behaviors that I could use to interfere with the impulse and I think a lot of the techniques I used for stopping talking in public would work, especially working on grounding myself when vulnerable (in this case, raging or frustrated) and making a note to carry in my hands as well as other grounding behaviors. I will also try to keep it a mental priority when vulnerable until it stops being habit. I will share in that thread if it works.

I should work on anger management when I'm able to get a therapist, too. I don't have it a great deal on a daily basis so when I get irritable from mood issues or sleep deprivation, I handle it poorly.

I will try a behavior chain analysis soon, not up to it today, but they seem very informative and I appreciate the recommendation.

Edited by evilnessness
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Just wanted to say that the hardest part, for me, is catching myself in that moment between doing and done. I don't think you're alone in that, but I totally understand how different head banging seems from cutting. I think there is (or can be) an impulse thing in the one you don't necessarily have in the other. It depends though.

 

I think your ideas for grounding yourself are good. I have definitely gone and sat somewhere public when I need to. It's harder to sh in public. 

 

Mindfulness might help with the grounding yourself. It takes practice. I carry a worry stone to focus on. I also go through and identify 5 things you see/4 things you feel/3 things you hear 

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