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Dealing with irritability


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How do you do it? I always have had happy hypomanias and been reluctant to medicate them away. I crash hard into depression if I don't, though, so I do, but I secretly enjoy the time until the meds start working.

Not this time. I didn't believe I was hypomanic because I'm not happy. Unfortunately all the other signs are there. I'm so irritable I can't stand it. I just wrote an awful blog post and it didn't make me feel better. I thought it might. Pdoc put me back on Seroquel and upped my Lamictal. 400 mg Seroquel and 200 mg Lamictal now. It's not helping yet. BF says a benzo helps him. I guess I can try it?

How do you deal with this irritability and anger and rage and just wanting to break every effing thing in your way? This is new for me and I don't like it AT ALL! I feel like I'm about to lose control and I'm going to regret it later.

ETA I can't even effing post. First the stupid error message says I'm not allowed to post it and signs me out of CB. I KNOW I put this in the bipolar section so why is it here when I log back in?? BF says I have to turn off the computer before I break it. FINE!

Edited by serafina
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I avoid Wal-mart at all costs, first and foremost.

At work, I have had to manually shred or tear paper in my hands to get the anger out. Kicking chairs works too but you have to make sure no one is walking down the hall.

Traffic is a big trigger for me, so I try to not be driving when I'm like that.

Bubble wrap has worked in the past.

Snapping pencils, breaking plastic coathangers, small destruction works sometimes.

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I'm home for the foreseeable future. Hypomania often means shopping but not in this state. Not the mall not this time of the year.

Shredding paper sounds good. Probably won't hurt myself or BF doing that. And it will take longer than breaking dishes.

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First, I desire to rip everyone's faces off.

 

Then I make a cardboard city and pretend I'm Godzilla and smash it all while making dinosaur noises. (I've actually done this twice... very therapeutic.)

 

Giving my spouse a heads up that I feel crabby/cranky seems to help a bit so he knows not to take most of what I say seriously in that moment.

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Giving my spouse a heads up that I feel crabby/cranky seems to help a bit so he knows not to take most of what I say seriously in that moment.

 

^^ If I am around someone while irritable I do this also ... just tell them I am in a bad mood so not to take anything i say personally.

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I'm a nightmare to be around when i'm irritable, i start verbal fights and i have to be really careful when i go out in public because if someone does something that annoys me i don't just let it lie like  i would do if i were stable. 

 

Going for a very long walk and punching a pillow helps.

Edited by tibbycat
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Irritability has been a big issue for me in the past. Most of my depressions are agitated and I am prone to mixing quite frequently as well. I have to lock myself away from the world because I don't want to explode at people. If I do have to go out, I try to make it a quick trip because driving is bad when I'm agitated. I basically have to clear my schedule of anything I have to do, even if it means cancelling last minute or just not showing up. Rude, I know, but it's just not worth the possibility of exploding at people.

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Then I make a cardboard city and pretend I'm Godzilla and smash it all while making dinosaur noises. (I've actually done this twice... very therapeutic.)

Godzilla therapy... You are brilliant. I sincerely hope this idea catches on somehow. I'll spread the word, being sure to credit you of course! :D

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Irritability during an episode sucks. The higher I get, the more irritable I am. Or if I crash into a mixed episode, I just can't stand it. I isolate myself and sometimes snap at people just trying to help me. I can be a HUGE bitch and fortunately, my roommate has MI too, so she understands. My mom is the 

 

Do things that don't annoy you. I know someone who gets plates from thrift stores and smashes them when she's really angry or pissed off.

 

Another thing I do that can help with irritability is getting a colouring book and crayons and just colouring. I know it sounds like something a 5 year old would do, but it's really relaxing. I find crafting, like scrapbooking or knitting helps too. Write nasty letters to people and then rip them up. Journal. Get that extra energy out.

 

Yell, scream, throw a temper tantrum. Anything that gets the feeling away.

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Lorazepam, solitude, and loud angry rock music in headphones help me.  Getting caught up in a crafting project, sewing or making jewelry.  Avoiding situations that will make it worse, which means not leaving my apartment unless absolutely necessary, not trying to cook anything elaborate, never rushing to get anything done, etc.  My tdoc is also having me do the free short guided meditations on the UCLA MARC website -- they can usually calm me down pretty well, but of course I have to be able to sit still for five minutes in order to do them.

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I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets like this. Although I'm sorry others do too. BF does. We have big fights then. But not now. He walks away from me. I don't. Maybe I will now.

I like the idea of godzilla. But I don't have the patience to make the city right now. Maybe when I am better. We have a pile of chipped and broken dishes for BF. I threw a couple.

Pdoc gave me valium yesterday morning. I feel nothing. In a good way. I don't want to kill anyone who gets in my way. I just feel anxiety now. And when I don't I can feel the crash coming. Not yet. But it is coming.

Pdoc was talking about maybe BP 1 depending on how this episode goes. I wasn't paying attention just trying to not say or do anything I would regret later. BF told me later. I go back tomorrow or Thursday. BF knows.

I just effing hate everything about this effing illness.

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