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I have schizophrenia although I haven't been formally diagnosed however the symptoms began around then which coincided with a head injury.After the injury I withdrew from everybody but my mother to the point I would skip school in the 4th grade and my ma use to have her friend that was a cab driver chase me down and bring me back to school , I was just so paranoid/scared of everyone I couldn't bare interacting with anybody this was in 1983 befor add and other disorders were receiving much attn. So I wasn't given any treatment the doc said I was just hyper and thats normal I pretty much stayed withdrawn to where I failed classes and was held back once I continued this until I was 13 when my mother took action by making me see a psychologist because she was concerned about my academic future at which time I was diagnosed with add and given 2 different meds to try both had very negative results I went through 3 months where I was constantly thinking about suicide after that I didn't want to try meds again, I was never upfront with the psychologist about my feelings because I was ashamed of how out of controle I felt at 13 most kids are trying to be tough.I stayed withdrawn thinking it was normal staying in my bedroom while my friends went out to parties, I was still terrified of society because the bad coincidence of getting in trouble somehow when I did go to parties I continued this until the 9/11 incident which for some reason caused me to start hearing voices well that and the 2-3 40 oz.s I drank for about 5 yrs prior I continued drink thus until about a month ago the voices have been gettin g progressively they echo and ask "dont you want to kill someone" while my brain flashes promiscuous women actually it had been doing that for about 5 yrs only lately its gotten much worse and i ve developed a chronic headache the physical worsening symptoms are why I quit drinking I know I shouldn't have been doing that but I wont take sythetic meds again marijuana is the only thing that stopped the voices but I moved where i cant grow it anymore anyways im just here because ive read some posts that sound alot like my life and its comforting to know im not alone

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Hi, welcome to CB. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask. We're not your normal support site, we don't walk on eggshells and we tell it like it is. But everyone is really great. 

 

It sounds like you've had some tough times, and that sucks.

 

I hope you can see a pdoc (psychiatrist) and get on medication that works, if they recommend that.

 

I'm glad you've quit drinking and smoking pot. That's a big achievement!

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