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Got tempted, posting this instead. (TW:


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I relapsed a couple days ago, had a not very satisfying session with my therapist yesterday, and also dealing with work-related stress. I'm trying not to go back to the land of "Just Two More So It's Five."

 

I understand that this forum is for getting better, so I feel a little terrible that I don't exactly see SI as something I need to necessarily quit. I know it's not healthy, I know that, but regardless of all my scars it doesn't happen very often. Like it's just something that tends to happen on really bad days. Sometimes it doesn't even happen on really bad days.

 

Anyway, whatever. I just feel kind of sucky. I want to stop talking because I'm starting to feel like I'm just making everything up. That's usually how it starts, "Do it so it's real." So. Okay.

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Unfortunately, there is little that any of us are going to say that will change what you already know what you're going to do.

It's up to you to make the conscious decision as to which path you wish to follow. Do you want to use again? You're, then, going to use regardless of what we say. I'm assuming that this is not the direction you wish to go.

You want to release your emotions and thoughts on here... go ahead. Feel free to release yourself. 

In the end though... you're the sole decider. 

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Posting here instead of acting on your urges was a good self care step.  I wonder if you might find some of the links in this thread useful?  I'm thinking particularly of the second one we posted there, which speaks about self harm and includes some thoughts on "if it helps, why stop?".

 

Keep talking to us.

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