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Frustrated. Not believed just because I'm depressed


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My cat is gravely ill. All her organs are scrambled up. I can tell by looking into her eyes that she hasn't much time left.

The frustrating thing is nobody is listening to me. She crawled into a brown paper bag this morning and I knew straight away she was going in there to die so I got her out and put her into bed with me which may prolong her life.

The problem is that my mum doesn't listen to me. She says it is because I'm depressed. so I am going to put her into carrier box myself and bring to vet.

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Took cat into vet crying hysterically and vet let me in straightaway. I tried to explain how sick she was. She examined her all over, weighed her, did blood work and i waited for blood results, which according to her were totally normal. She said that she was a very healthy cat and I didn't need to be concerned. I got really upset again because I know that she can't see what I see. I see imminent death in her eyes. I asked the vet what she saw when she looked in her eyes and vet said she had very healthy eyes. Quite clearly not a clue. My mum realised where I was and came to Vets. My mum was saying something to vet and I was crying and she put cat back in carrier. When we got home the psych nurse was there. She gave me clonazepam and tried to talk to me and wanted me to go into hospital but I refused. I am under care of the Home Based Treatment Team where a nurse visits daily so now I have to agree to 2 visits a day. Really don't want to go into hospital so I'll keep my mouth shut. Still upset about my cat but not so bad. Psych nurse says I am having psychotic thinking or something. Can't trust anyone

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Really mixed up and confused. Is my cat sick, I don't know. Can I trust others judgement. Vet says she is healthy. Part of me believes her as she's a good vet and have known her years but part of me is panicking.

I am evil and darkness surround me and my pets and i am causing them to wither away due to illness. What kind of person would cause illness and ultimately death to her pets. Me. I did. They are surrounded by evil.

Anybody any ideas what to do? Should I put them in kennels for a while which might reverse the damage and potentially save their lives when I'm not there

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I don't think you should put your pets in a kennel. You are NOT evil and your pets are lucky to have you. I am getting very worried about you. Please call your pdoc or be completely honest with the nurse when he/she comes.

 

I am glad that your cat is ok.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh my goodness!! I have just come across this discussion that I started a while back and feel incredibly stupid. I barely remember writing this.

 

Can't believe I thought my cat was so ill and that nobody could see it except me. Sorry about posting such rubbish, but I did believe it at the time

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It's okay, rowan. Sometimes we get ill and these things happen.

 

I'm glad you're doing better, and happy your kitty is doing well.

 

Thanks for being so understanding San  :)

 

Don't know if I can face the vet again after my meltdown in her surgery. Doesn't bear thinking about  :wall:

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I'm glad I came across this thread. I felt evil awhile back because I was suddenly overcome with (but did not act on) the idea that I needed to kill my cat. I got so scared that I put him outside because I was convinced I was evil and was causing him harm just by his being in my home. He's an indoor/outdoor cat as we took him in as a stray, so he wasn't bothered by being outside. But it scared the fuck out of me. I still don't know if I was psychotic or not. 

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Rowan, I don't know how you feel about this, but I told my vets straight out I'm bipolar. The reason is sometimes I forget their heartworm tablet, so I *always* ask for the filiae test (to see if there are any heartworms starting to develop). I know it is unlikely they will get heartworm. But I am not great at remembering. The 1st of every month, why can't I remember that? They got it this month, though.

 

So I finally decided to explain why I was so haphazard, and to ask that my dogs always get tested for filiae during their exams. They were totally cool about that. It isn't ideal, but they want owners to look after their dogs; that is what I am doing, just kind of backwards. I think it is because heartworm is still easy to treat at that stage without harming the dogs further that they are okay with it.

 

But it has helped me, and they have never batted an eye.

Blahblahblah

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Rowan, I don't know how you feel about this, but I told my vets straight out I'm bipolar. The reason is sometimes I forget their heartworm tablet, so I *always* ask for the filiae test (to see if there are any heartworms starting to develop). I know it is unlikely they will get heartworm. But I am not great at remembering. The 1st of every month, why can't I remember that? They got it this month, though.

 

So I finally decided to explain why I was so haphazard, and to ask that my dogs always get tested for filiae during their exams. They were totally cool about that. It isn't ideal, but they want owners to look after their dogs; that is what I am doing, just kind of backwards. I think it is because heartworm is still easy to treat at that stage without harming the dogs further that they are okay with it.

 

But it has helped me, and they have never batted an eye.

Blahblahblah

 

Thank you crtclms. At the moment I am living with my parents and we share responsibility for our pets so am hopefully am okay for now. However there may be a time in the future that this idea could work, if I am the only one caring for a pet. Thankfully heartworm  is not found in Ireland probably because we don't have mosquitoes.

 

I love my pets and if I have to disclose my bipolar so that they get optimum care I will do that.

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