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Am i misdiagnosed with bipolar?

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Hello there! this is my first post here! i am 27/ male from Egypt i came here to get a better idea about my diagnosis and ask some questions about my symptoms.. i have been recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder (probably type 2!) and taking Depakene (Valopric Acid) 500mg twice a day and Neurazine 100mg (chlorpromazine hydrochloride) once a day, this diagnosis was a result of a visit to the psychiatrist after i had a seizure-like attack...

before that i was on Ecitalopram 10 mg for depression for nearly a year (which may have triggered my bipolar as i read), after discontinuing ecitalopram i tried St John Wort for 20 days and i noticed improvement in my mood but unfortunately was discontinued due to the seizure i had.

after being diagnosed with bipolar i started to think of my past and what might have caused it, i remember being depressed before college as i wanted to go to a film school but couldn't afford it, i also had self-esteem issues (maybe resulted from years of bullying) and was also too socially anxious to go for film courses or even settle for a business school just like everybody i know did, at 20 i stopped going out and dropped out of school, i went to a psychiatrist who said i had depression and prescribed an antidepressant but i didn't take it as i thought my issues needed real life solutions not some chemical, maybe i was wrong but i started to cope with depression even though i was still living in the fantasy of my daydreams and haven't made any practical moves to reach any goals i had back then.

2 years later i joined the army (it's mandatory where i live) and surprisingly my depression was somehow lifted, after i got out i started a computer business and i was the closest thing to "normal" i have ever been to except for some loneliness and self esteem issues but overall i was pulling myself together, then i got bored, more lonely and business was failing so i thought moving out of my small town would be a wise move so i did and got a job in the city and life sounded good until i started to have increasing bouts of anxiety and "mood swings", then was put on Ecitalopram with mild improvement for the anxiety, after 18 months i left my job as i was too burnout and quitting was the only exit and moved back with my parents again since last June..


My questions are:
1- is it possible that i was bipolar since high school and leaving it untreated might have complicated the illness? 
2- is dreaming and fantasizing about being a great film director or a creative writer counts as grandiose delusions? 
3- is it possible to have schizophrenia without having hallucinations or delusions and not having a family history of the illness?
4- sometimes i seem to lose the ability to talk when i am expected to engage in a conversation; like i have nothing to say or have something to say but words won't come out, is it sign of an illness (like alogia in schizophrenia or bipolar) or it's just the side effect of medication?
5- i know the fear of going crazy or developing a serious mental or physical illness is common among people with anxiety but how to differentiate those fears between being actually aware of the early symptoms of schizophrenia for example?


Thank you so much for your time :)

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First: Welcome, Aymanamer. I'm always particularly happy to see new members from non-native-English-speaking parts of the world! I hope we can help you find what you're looking for.


We can't diagnose you online. You ask a lot of questions that I simply can't answer without knowing you/having a medical degree/having your full medical history, but I will do my best.


Many mental illnesses first manifest themselves in a person's late teens or early twenties. Bipolar two is generally characterized by periods of depression and hypomania, without necessarily having a full-blown mania. You may also have mixed states, which can be periods of depression when you have a lot of energy, or periods when you're especially irritable, anxious, can't sleep...mixed states are hard to pin down, but they feel awful.


I don't know if dreaming of becoming a great film director counts as a delusion of grandeur or not. I'm tempted to say that a delusion of grandeur would be more along the lines of thinking that it's totally inevitable that you'll be a world-shakingly famous amazing director because you already have a nearly magical ability that you just need to get all these people out of the way to express...do you see where I'm going with this? There's a qualitative difference between imagining something and dreaming and fantasizing about it and having an idée fixe that you practically already ARE something. It's a matter of degree.


It is possible to be the only member of a family to have a mental illness. The best way to determine if you have one or not is to work closely with your doctor and to be very, very honest.


I hope that helps. Please feel free to keep asking questions, and again, welcome to CB

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