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Ugh guys this effin disorder is so bad. First I deal with depression that seems like it will never end. Than I get a mood elevation and say yes I'm coming out of it then I feel depressed again. I'm like WTH why is this from one extreme to one that just is harder and harder to deal with, I mean the depression. I guess back in 08 I was being treated on the tail end of a manic episode and I miss the hyperreligiosity but that was a disaster waiting to happen. I didn't get treated in time I suppose that's why the crash was so much harder.

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I had another doctor when this happened....I was thinking at the time that my joy for God was zapping because i was thinking of bad things, then the OCD kicks in and anxiety from hell.....That was after they put me on risperdal so it was like it wasn't caught in time because man it wasn't just a crash I was going thru a lot of pain during this time.

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