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How do you know if you have a purpose in life?


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How do you know if you have a purpose in life?

 

My former high school classmates have real careers and jobs, relationships, social connections, living on their own, and are respected by the community. I do not have that luxury. My job right now is to learn to cope with MI such as dealing with the voices that inferere with my goals and activities in life. But people out there do not know about my MI, and what I go through everyday. People do not like me anymore, and have low expectations of me. I am working very hard to prove to people that I deserve their respect. But this is draining me out.

 

Are there some people who are not like my former "fortunate" high school classmates?

Edited by MindAway
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Ah, fuck those judgy bastards.

Seriously, fuck 'em. And not in a happy fun way, but as in " fail to give a flying fuck what they think."

...They have no fucking clue.

I wouldn't piss on them if they paid me...oh, wait, shit, I would...I need the money, never mind...

Many of those folks are human doings, chasing after the stuff society programmed them to want, empty little windup robots, wondering why there's no deep sense of satisfaction inside them. Instead a little pothole of naught filled up with bad sitcoms.

...every human has a purpose, deserves respect, is worthwhile, is on their own unique path, can be the teacher meant to appear at the moment you are ready to be taught a lesson you need to learn.

Those judgy people judge as a way of not opening themselves wide to the world as it is. Narrowing their experience. Not connecting. Lowering the intensity.

...They get their tickets punched and take the trip...with their rectally contracted little judgy egos all contracted and judging and yet somehow failing to turn the feces they are full of into diamonds.

...don't be judgy. They lose. And don't judge them for being judgy, they do it out of fear and clinging to their ego.

Like an ego really exists, it's a frigging construct. A story we tell ourselves about ourselves.

...I find it useful to think of life as a really extended LSD trip...yanno, don't freak, ride the wave, it'll end when it ends, you're not steering, blah de blah...

Be wide open. Take the whole ride, the full catastrophe.

And no, I don't manage that all the time either...but I aim...um...high...

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This might sound harsh when i say this, but we make our own purpose in life.

 

I think you need to find a niche that you can fill that you can do. These old highschool classmates are not you. So whatever combination of things they are doing your unique self could not fit their niche because these former classmates are unique too. These classmates may come off like they have an ideal life and living it, but you do not know what their path is like or how they are walking their path. Their wife/husband might be cheating on them, their children might have many illnesses, they may not even be looked at for promotion, they might be dealing with their own illness, they might be battling addiction, etc. You are only seeing a superficial aspect of their life.

 

So make your own purpose in your life. I don't think we have a "set" purpose in life that god, goddess, higher power, cosmo, whatever you believe having create our purpose. Yes, we have a purpose on a nature level, but any other purpose we create. Your purpose right now is to learn what a life can be without MI interfering with it too much.

 

Find your own happiness and your own unique niche. I think we are in the same whirl pool...just some can act all cool and collected about it.

 

Plus don't care if someone likes you..find people who are like minded and like you. It's not worth your time caring about if certain people like you. As long as you treat people the way you want to be treated, you are a winner. Keep people around that treat you the way you want to be treated while at the same time treating the person the way you want to be treated. If the person doesn't treat you the way you think you should be treated then communicate that issue with the person or move on. Life is just too darn short to dance with someone who is dancing at a different beat.

Edited by CherryBlossom
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I know I have a purpose because I settled on it and chose it,

 

It took me a couple of decades, so alongside the normal purposes and goals required just for getting through day-to-day life, a major purpose of mine was to address that question.

I looked at a variety of the pre-packaged and organized purposes on offer, before narrowing down what I considered "the point of it all", to include the possibility that "there isn't one."  Shakespeare describing life as "a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,signifying nothing."

 

Buying in to whatever is valued and approved in one's local society is a common choice (by default?) but those of us away from the middle of that surrounding mainstream may not find that fulfilling (or survivable).

We may find we fit better into a niche purpose, objective, social setting.

 

Or circumstances my be such, as you describe and as I know, that immediate purposes aims and goals leave little left over for strategic planning.

"Where do you see yourself in ten year's time?"

"Do you mind? I haven't got to projecting as far as next Tuesday, yet."

 

Another variation on this is :

"When you're up to your armpits in alligators, it's difficult to remember that the objective is to drain the swamp."

 

 

I don't want to be too specific.

Yes, get a grip on the days, and get "where you are now" set up to work as well as possible for you..

From there it's a matter of looking for a niche or move that tempts or appeals.

No, it doesn't have to be grand, be lauded by the media, or come with massive material rewards.

 

Me, I've gone with one that saw me through a professional career and still, serves me now I'm housebound.

 Chris

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Incidentally( and now that I've slept and am less streaming consciousness ), my life's purpose is to make the world a better place in the ways I am capable of, to comfort the afflicted and to annoy the wicked.

Also to have a lot of fun.

I always wanted to help fix the world, since I was a little kid. It's just that I have asthma, big bad brain cooties, and am just me. Surviving takes up SO MUCH ENERGY!

So that whole fixing the world thing is done in little bits here and there.

In Mahayana Buddhism, one agrees to put off going completely into nirvana until all other beings have attained full enlightenment. I haven't officially vowed that. But if reincarnation does indeed happen, I'll be back to try and fix shit some more.

Hopefully with a body and mind combo that work better next time!

So, if there's something that you have a strong urge to work on doing,, or that you really love doing, maybe that is your life purpose.

A LOT of people think their life purpose is to become well-off, marry, and have 1.9 children. They were told that by society.

Probably not true.

Edited by Stickler
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"Where do you see yourself in ten year's time?"

"Do you mind? I haven't got to projecting as far as next Tuesday, yet."

 

I always got asked this question (mainly in school each year as I got older) except it was 'where do you see yourself in 5 years.'  I always wrote down ie, have a job, home, kids, etc, because I had no idea what to write and figured that is what I *should* be doing (at the time I thought that).

 

In first/second grade I was asked what I wanted to do when I grew up, and since that day I worried about what I was going to do in life.  I gave an "answer" ... teacher ... but later in life I was so pissed to have been asked that question because after that I always worried what I'd be doing in life and would I be able to fit in. 

 

I think most of my life I just went through the motions to get to the point to what society expected of people (in general, ie job, family, kids, etc).  Even through college I appeared to know where I was headed, but really just going through the motions of what life was *supposed* to be like.  The shit hit the fan a week before graduation and I OD'd for the first time.

 

I wish I was never asked that question of what I wanted to do in 5 years/in life because it really stressed me out as a kid/adult when I had enough other shit to deal with on my plate.

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One of my favorite authors who writes about meaning and purpose is Richard Bach.

 

“The meaning I picked, the one that changed my life: Overcome fear, behold wonder.”

 

 

 

“Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.”

 

 

 

 

You can achieve a goal; you never really achieve your purpose, because your purpose is ongoing. It never stops.

 

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First things first; there is no reason for people to not know that you live with a mental illness.  Exposure, on an interpersonal level, can do nothing but help to eliminate the arms length stigma that mental health carries.

 

I'm not suggesting that you insert your struggles into every conversation.  There are, however, opportunities to chime in, "As someone that lives with ________, I've found that...".  You might be surprised at the responses you'll receive.  I typically punctuate my point by moving beyond my own situation and casting a wider net.  As an example, I live in an economically struggling inner city and work for a public school district that services tens of thousands of students.  Within five square blocks of wherever I am standing, there are probably tens (if not a hundred) children in their formative years that are struggling with many of the same symptoms.

 

Those children deserve consideration.

 

As for purpose, I don't know what to tell you, mate.  

 

A year ago, my depressive disorder turned more severe and I found myself host to a number of psychotic symptoms.  After a pretty solid attempt, I landed in the ER, spent some time in ICU and then the psych ward.  Truth as truth, there wasn't a lot to be done for me; I knew what was going on, I could quantify my psychotic symptoms for what they were, so once my medication was stabilized I petitioned for release and went home.

 

This is where I exist... looking for a deeper meaning.  My philosophic predisposition makes that a struggle.  If I had faith in a deity or belief in a moral secularism that extended beyond small gatherings of well intended primates, that might be easier -- but, much like truly devout believers, I don't have a choice.  I believe that there is no justification for cruelty and I simultaneously believe that at the end of the game, humanity isn't even a consideration in the outcome.

 

So, I struggle to do more good than harm as it eases the symptoms of guilt I am wracked with and makes it a tad easier to sleep at night.  I offer kindness where I can and try to keep my distance from impressionable people when I'm struggling.  I take my medication, struggle with the side effects, go to my therapist and work.  I keep a guitar close at hand to busy myself when my thoughts become to pessimistic.  I feed my cats and force myself to do my laundry.

 

In short, I survive -- and, for now, that has to be enough.

 

I do take a piece of solace in that I am not alone in my struggles.  Even when sitting alone in the kitchen, playing over every wrong I have committed, every weakness I exhibit... I know that someone else out there is swimming in the same dark waters; occasionally we meet and take refuge together, share stories and assure one another that the darkness isn't permanent.

 

I guess you have to find what works for you.  Believe in something more than yourself enough to commit to it and white knuckle the roller coaster when you find yourself strapped in.

 

You're not alone, mate.  Take some peace in that.

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sulkingdog,

 

I struggle on a daily basis with my MI depression anxiety and wish I could find some relief as you have so eloquently stated but the only relief I find is when I get to bed / sleep so I can forget how terrible I feel thought the day.

 

I wish I could find the right medication to help myself feel better so I could better control my life and emotions.

 

Thanks for your words of encouragement, I just can't make the connection. But I see that you also had to pull through your own struggles with getting on the right medications to help you deal with your issues.

 

Thanks you for your comment,

sook

 

P.S., hope I did not hijack this thread.

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