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Guest lmnop at school

In my humble experience, Christmas parties always suck, and parties with no *good* friends around are doomed to failure unless I'm in a very special Butterfly Mode.  It's okay for things to not turn out in the fabulous or even decent way that you'd imagined.  This does not mean you're screwed for life.  You made the effort to get out there, and you survived an evening in mixed company, even though you felt uncomfortable.  That takes strength.  You have that. 

The older I get, the more I meet people a little bit like us, who can't do small talk.  They do conversation.  Ask them about shopping yesterday, and they won't have anything to say unless they know you want to hear more.  THEN they'll tell you about the child they saw wandering by Toys-R-Us, and how that reminded them of a story, and how this poignantly expressed the lack of intergenerational connection and how they long to reconstruct the family of belonging.  We're a rarity, but we exist. 

It's okay to "disappear" for a while, calmly.  Let it be.  Then study and look for opportunities to break back into the social circle.  Are there any other stragglers?  Can you overhear any conversations with loose groups where you have something to say?  Dive back in again, if you want.  The state of drifting on the outskirts isn't automatically permanent. 

You are still a human being.  You think about things.  You care about things.  You just aren't up on all the trivial babble which sometimes seems so important.  That's all.  Don't lose faith.  If you want to be part of the social circle again, you will.  It'll just take a little time.  And if you choose a smaller, quieter sort of society, I, for one, would welcome you. 

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Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality inventory? If you haven't, you should. It will help describe you a bit. It helped me see myself more clearly. Your "score", DX, or description will be 4 letters.

Some of us, as Imnop said so well, are not socialites.

I personally believe that so many people say so many things they don't mean and fill up the silence so they don't have to hear silence. In the silence there is room for thoughts, room to just be, and some people can't stand to be with themselves.

I think it is either the most MANIC (hahahahah), the drunk, or the least self-confident people who are the most talkative.

Don't worry about not having small talk to waste- Imnop and me would rather enjoy the silence.

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Thank you all for the wonderfull reponses.  It is a learning experience and I can only improve from there.

It is hard to find those people who think like you sometimes.  I just need to find them.

I actually have been to couple of parties since my dx and it was all people I have known for awhile.  People that I could actually tell what I've been through.  I should try and keep in touch with them more.

Thank you so much once again!

I really enjoy these boards and you'll probably see more posts from me as I am trying to unravel myself.

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