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Depersonalization disorder


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It's been since my delivery that I suffer from depersonalization disorder. I also feel derealization. I feel very not myself, like if I am someone else or I don't recognize myself. Sometimes I just don't feel in my body. It's like I've lost myself since 2 1/2 years. I hate that. I am so sad about it. And I always have time lapses, that came out nowhere.

I tried ALL ssri's. Last one was Paxil. It helped a bit for depersonalization, but worked against derealization. I felt stoned with this med, and tired. I couldn't go in metro w/o paicking. I felt so drugged.  I just tapered since 2 weeks, and I tried Prozac, but it makes me very agressive.

I also tried all benzos. I tapered Klonopin, because it just numbes me w/o helping dissociation. I take sleep pills, but it just gives me 1 hour relief.

Now I am almost med free and I am afraid to go crazy. It's stupid but true. Also, I would like soooo much to have another kid (I am 31), but I am afraid of Paxil now and don't want to go back on it because I know what is the withdrawal..... so horrible, with the zaps, etc. But I feel so bad, I don't know what to do. I would like to continue my life even if I am ill....

If someone recognize herself here, please do! I feel so alone, and now depression is back.

:)

Dpmom

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i'm not wholly familiar with your history, but i always suggest a visit to a neurologist whenever derealisation and time lapses are mentioned. i went for years with lapses and fugue states and weird feelings of jamais vu and things i thought were panic attacks which all turned out to be seizure-related. have you ever had an EEG?

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  • 2 months later...

Supposedly depersonalization disorders are either due to some kind of trauma experienced in life or something physical/neurological. And since you've been having problems with this since birth, it's most likely the latter.

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