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Don't be so hard on yourself

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I have an issue with people telling me to stop being so hard on myself. It irritates me. I think it's rude. I should know what it means. This phrase has been around since forever.

I looked it up and the answers I got didn't even relate to me.

Can someone help me out and explain it to me. I sound like a complete moron for asking this.

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edit: (blank)

Edited by identity

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it means that someone feels that you are overly critical of yourself and that you have tendency to think the worst of yourself even when it's really unwarranted. it basically means to stop being so mean to yourself.

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it means that someone feels that you are overly critical of yourself and that you have tendency to think the worst of yourself even when it's really unwarranted. it basically means to stop being so mean to yourself.

Okay doesn't sound like me

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if more than one person consistently tells you this then you might have a self-perception problem. as they say, we are our own worst enemies and our own harshest critic. it can be hard to be nice to yourself sometimes especially if you've got a lot of cognitive distortions working against you. do you have a therapist?

 

@identity pointed out that you were being very critical of yourself in your opening post on this thread. you said you sounded like a "complete moron" for not quite getting what the phrase meant and that is a perfectly example of how you might have a tendency to be too harsh on yourself without realizing it. 

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if more than one person consistently tells you this then you might have a self-perception problem. as they say, we are our own worst enemies and our own harshest critic. it can be hard to be nice to yourself sometimes especially if you've got a lot of cognitive distortions working against you. do you have a therapist?

@identity pointed out that you were being very critical of yourself in your opening post on this thread. you said you sounded like a "complete moron" for not quite getting what the phrase meant and that is a perfectly example of how you might have a tendency to be too harsh on yourself without realizing it.

Your answer is what I was looking for.

I said I sound like a moron because I assume that it's common knowledge what the phrase means because its been around for some time.

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But you can't know what you haven't learned. You aren't stupid for not understanding what something means before it is explained to you. You aren't an idiot if you don't know the definition of something. That is how a lot of people end up sounding too negative (said the pot). I'm a moron, I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, because I didn't know something I didn't know. You can't measure yourself up to other people, they've had an entirely different life experience.

 

You should never be afraid to ask questions, intelligent people are never worried about looking stupid. If I don't know something, however minor, I ask. That was a little braggy, but I am smart, and I'll ask anything to learn more.

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To add to Cosima's excellent answer, it is, essentially, an expression of sympathy. If the person who said it to you heard you being as mean to someone else as you are to yourself, he or she would likely say something like "Wow, why are you being so mean to [you]? I don't think your degree of anger is appropriate."

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