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Head banging in Psychotic Depression


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I have been on Zoloft for over a year now since my hospitalization at the end of 2013. I was diagnosed with major depression with psychosis. I have had depression since I was 13/14 (25 now) but that was my first psychotic episode. I have been much happier and less emotional since the meds kicked in (zoloft 100mg) but if I do get upset, which is rare, I become uncontrollable & sob like a child while repeatedly self-harming. I've given myself 2 concussions so far this year by banging my head [edited for compliance w board guidelines]. Last summer (2014) I began to [edited for compliance with board guidelines]. I have never been this violent with myself. I can't talk to my therapist about this bc I am scared of readmission. I also don't know where to begin. I feel like there's no fixing this part of me. I feel like a child when it happens. Like "look at me! Pay attention to me! I am here and I am hurting" it's a raw pain, a childlike sadness.
I am starting to worry about myself. The first time I used head banging i ended up with two black eyes from the brain trauma. I've already had a serious contusion from a car accident. Now I've had at least 3 concussions from self-harming and multiple jagged scars on my arms (very noticeable and embarrassing). Anyone with experience or advice, I would really appreciate it.

Edited by Wooster
remove references tospecific self harm methods
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