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I have a flat affect, my psychiatrist told me this. And I hate it. I can't smile, not even forcing it. I barely ever laugh. I am awful at having conversations with people I don't know well, because they will be cheery and say "Hey, what's up?" with a smile while I give a monotone "Oh, hi." When people try to have friendly conversation with me I just have a blank expression and I just say "Ok, yeah, cool." I just feel indifferent to what most people have to say.

 

I can get annoyed, and I feel sad sometimes. Very few things make me feel very happy. But I have very little emotion in general. One thing that freaks people out is that I sat through a graphic snuff film (1 Lunatic, 1 Icepick) and I had no reaction to it. It was probably the most horrific thing I ever watched, but I sat through the whole thing and I thought, meh. Ok. Also when my friend had a death in the family, I tried to comfort but he said I made him feel WORSE. I couldn't sympathize; I felt bad, but I didn't have an emotional reaction, despite the fact that I KNEW the person who died.

 

The same thing when my dog died (2010) and my cat (2011). My parents were crying, my mom even took off work for my dog. I grew up with those pets. Yet, I didn't shed a tear. I just felt indifferent towards it. 

 

Does anybody else have a blunted/flat affect? Is there any way to actually feel emotions? It just makes me feel bad that I am missing  crucial element to being a person.  It is part of my schizoaffective diagnosis.

 

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Yup. Lately I have had a flat affect. Even things that bother me haven't been or if they bother me, I just can;t seem to show it. I am scared to death of mold and a week ago, I discovered a couple of containers of moldy Chinese food I left in my closet for a few months. Normally, I get rid of that stuff right away, but I left it in my closet without a care in the world. Normally I get really scared of containers of moldy food, but oh well, no reaction here. It is still there. 

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I have felt flat from medication but I also have felt myself talking about troubling things like I was describing them happening to someone else with no emotion. No one mentioned it, but  I can feel it. My present tdoc has me sit with my feelings and it is really uncomfortable for me. I don't think I am that way particularly now but I have experienced it in the past. I guess it is part of the disorder.

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