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Antidepressant Causing Psychosis?


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I live with a cat I hate. I loathe it. This level of despising this cat has risen to a level where I have fantasies of killing it. I love animals and donate to animal charities. I love dogs and have always been drawn to them. I love animals!!

 

But I hate this cat and it's owner. I am moving from this place with the cat in 2 weeks to a new apartment where I'll be living alone. I found myself running around chasing the cat until she was scared out of her mind hiding. I continued to chase her until she was hissing at me because I loathe her and want to scare the crap out of her. I did scare her. And I still want to throw the cat against the wall. I have NEVER had this reaction to a cat or the cat's owner. I want to throw a bottle at the cat's owner's head. Again, have NEVER had this level of rage. Always had rage since I was a child, but not like this.

 

I am diagnosed bipolar 2 and my doc upped my Wellbutrin since I haven't had a hypo episode in a very long time, and I am basically chronically suicidal. Wellbutrin did help, so she wanted to up it since the suicidal ideation has significantly increased.

 

This little episode with the cat scared me. I literally when into my roommate's bedroom while she wasn't home to chase this cat and scare it. Total violation of her privacy and I knew it. And it felt good to scare this cat. I almost felt high after!

 

I am mentally ill and I know that. Please don't judge or make hurtful comments. I already know I am sick. I have already called the crisis hotline for support and for help and have an appointment with my therapist Wednesday. I can't stop thinking about wanting to throw this cat against a wall. I am taking my trazodone to sleep so I can get my mind off of this.

 

Is this a some sort of psychotic episode? And can it be triggered by the increase in antidepressant dose? To be honest, I didn't fully buy the bipolar diagnosis but now I am thinking it's true. Actually, my doctor thought I was on the brink of bipolar 1. These feelings scare me and I know I am moving soon so that will help. But is this some psychotic thing? I have always had issues with rage but this has become an obsession. I will be calling the psychiatrist tomorrow for help. But what have your experiences been? Please don't judge me. I take my meds, go to therapy and a support group. I am really trying to get better. I just got scared. Thoughts???

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I don't think it's psychotic. I want to emphasize that I am not a doctor, and I cannot diagnose, but your rage sounds like  mine when I was having a mixed episode. I guess in the DSM 5 they are calling them "mixed features," instead of mixed  episodes, but that is what I was diagnosed with at the time.

 

I'm going to move this to side effects in the medication forum. More people are likely to see it there and give advice.

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Queen of Ergots - Thank you for that. This has gone from rage and wanting to destroy to suicidality (which caused me to call the crisis hotline) to rage again... The scariest part was the sense of pleasure I got from seeing this cat so scared. I feel like a mental case! And I am scared of my rage! 

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Also sounds like a mixed episode, from my own experiences. And if it is - the Wellbutrin increases are probably adding to it considering its stimulating properties; so your doctor trying to treat the Suicidal Ideation with the Wellbutrin may be completely counterproductive. So it's not only increasing the thoughts but adding to the rage.

 

Call your Pdoc ASAP and stay safe. My sincerest empathy, Mixed episodes are a bitch.

Edited by Sloane
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