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So, hello there.

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A new crazy has arrived. I've been lurking for a while, but only just decided to make an account.


I'm an almost eightteen High School Senior in New Jersey (please, spare me the Jersey Shore comments) and one of your rare Asper-girls. I've struggled with some kind of disorder pretty much since the moment I was born, but as of the last few years it's become too much for me to ignore and I've been receiving treatment. My current diagnosises are: Bipolar I with psychotic features, Mood disorder NOS, Generalized anxiety disorder, Obsessive complusive disorder, and Aspergers' syndrome. I take 125mg of Lamictal and .25mg of Rispardal a day, and Thorazine as needed. I also take a shit-ton of vitamins, some thyroid thing for my hypothyroisdism, and birth control beacuse my periods are like Satan crawled out of hell and decided to unleash an apocalyptic hellfire upon my uterus and/or mood (I've been speculated to have endometriosis).


On the outside, I keep up appearances, or at least I did. I used to be a straight-A student, now I neglect to hand in homework or read the books for English class. I'm applying to prestigious colleges, including Ivy Leauges, but I keep dreading what might happen if I don't get in. It's all weighing me down. Since I went up on Lamictal (October 2014), I haven't had a full-blown manic episode, but my mood has been consistantly depressed. The hallucinations have mostly gone away, but an awful and unshakable paranoia has replaced them. I've begun the habit of scratching my wrists with my nonexistant fingernails or a knife until they bleed. I don't cut yet, but I want to nip it in the bud. I also eat my fingernails (gross, I know) and scratch my head compulsively. I keep thinking about dying and I feel like such a loser.


So if you're keeping track, I'm fun at parties.


Non-crazy facts about me: I live for musical theatre, and I'm currently in a production of Shrek: the Musical. I want to move either down south or to Paris someday. I adore anime and manga and even go the whole nine yards to cosplay and attend conventions. I love books, but have no time to read anymore (my favorite author is Lovecraft). I also have a weakness to penguins. Just something about them makes me want to take one home.


Sorry if this post has been rambling or incomprehensible, I just had to get it off my chest.

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Welcome (officially) to CrazyBoards! It sounds like you've been through a rough time, and I hope you find plenty of kindred spirits and support here.  Don't hesitate to contact me or one of the other mods if you have any questions.



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Welcome to Crazyboards!  I'm another theater enthusiast--worked on a lot of productions in high school and college.  It's a crazy scene, but it's so satisfying to perform on stage.


Please let us know if we can help you in any way. 



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