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I'm having such a hard time with meds and finding a doctor that seems to really want to see the complexity (I feel) in my situation.


I was born drug addicted (cocaine) and have severa learning disabilities. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and as of around 4th grade put on medication for ADHD. I did not like the medication for many years but once I was in upper high school grades I realized how much it did help me focus and stay on task.


When I was 18 I had my son and had severe PPD. I never wanted to hurt him but I did have suicidal thoughts and it wasn't until he was close to three that I actually started taking care of him (until then I relied on family to help). I was put on Zoloft which did help ease the depression and suicidal thoughts but not completely. I was also on Adderall for my ADHD and a very small dose of lorazepam, which I didn't like because it made me angry not relaxed. When my son was 2 I was hospitalized twice; once for kicking my sister and once for burning my hand with a hot pair of tweezers & a hot safety pin (still have scars).


Around the time I was hospitalized I was put on lamictal in addition to the Zoloft, Adderall, and lorazepam. I moved, and was off meds for a period of time until I finally got in to see someone. I was put back on everything except lamictal (because I had forgotten I had been on it) and the lorazepam was switched to clonazepam. Again, clonazepam made me angry (even at a low dose of .5) but it did help me sleep which is the only time I took it.


Anyway, I moved again and the most recent psychiatrist decided that I can't have both a mood disorder and ADHD. So I was put back on lamictal, but taken off Adderall. Which has caused a lot of problems at work. I'm still on Zoloft but was taken off clonazepam which is fine by me since it made me feel mad. I've also had extreme sleep issues. Trazadone helps for a few hours but then I don't get a full night's sleep. Ambien makes me act crazy and do anything BUT sleep (I've read this can happen, or at least people have been known to sleep walk, make phone calls, etc). And Seroquel works for sleep as well as keeps me calm during the day however I eat EVERYTHING in sight within 15 minutes of it kicking in and I wake up surrounded in wrappers, food, crumbs, cereal covered in maple syrup the most ridiculous things relaly. So I've switched back to Trazadone.


What has changed since the PPD passed is that I don't get depressed, I get SUPER SUPER SUPER ANGRY. And I mean breaking things angry. I throw things, I break windows. I don't really get very depressed, sometimes I have low moments. Sometimes I think about hurting myself but not when crying and sad but when I'm super angry.


My sister thinks I need an antipsychotic and that I should see a psychiatrist that believes ADHD and mood disorders can co-exist. I don't want it to look like I"m doctor shopping but the truth is I've been on stimulants since I was 10 years old and that was the first psychiatric diagnosis I got (ADHD). I didn't have behavior issues as a child, I was in special education but never in trouble, never in behavior classes. My problem was I had a hard time paying attention and sitting still, I still do, and at work this is causing major issues since I've been off the Adderall. And since benzos make me angry instead of calm  me down my anxiety is a real problem.


The only firm diagnoses I've been given were ADHD and PPD. I'm not sure what else, I imagine some sort of mood disorder but I don't know for sure. Sometimes I feel totally out of control, and even when I'm not upset I'm very loud and animated and my mind is always racing. The couple times I've run out of my Zoloft and Lamictal, within a few days I feel like I'm losing it. So I know I need those for WHATEVER reason.


Any thoughts?


Current meds:


Zoloft: 100 mg

Lamictal: 400 mg

Trazdone: 50-100 mg


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Oh wow. You most certainly can have depression or other mood disorders with ADHD. I was supposed to be tested for it but had to switch drs. I have been on Ritalin in the past.

Anyway, find a new pdoc! You deserve to get quality care. If lamictal and Zoloft work for you good. But since you have ADHD too you will probably need your med back for that. Especially since you said it really helps you out.

Good luck and I hope you find a competent pdoc soon!

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I agree with finding another pdoc.  Like Cheese said, you can have depression/mood disorders with ADHD.  IMO you aren't DR shopping; you are trying to find a pdoc who listens to you and takes what you say into consideration.  You and your pdoc should be able to work together (IMO), not something like a dictatorship.

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My sister thinks I need an antipsychotic and that I should see a psychiatrist that believes ADHD and mood disorders can co-exist.



Another way to say this: you should see a doctor reads the research instead of making shit up on their own. 

Edited by ovOidampUle
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