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(NOTE TO READER:  I AM ON THE VERGE OF GOING INTO SOME PSYCHOTIC RAGE.  PLEASE READ EVERYTHING I'M SAYING HERE.  I KNOW IT IS LONG-WINDED LIKE MY OTHER POSTS.  BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE DISRESPECT AND BELITTLE MY SITUATION BY TELLING ME THINGS SUCH AS THAT I AM JUST WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME HERE AND THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE AND/OR KEEP IT TO MYSELF):

 

My anhedonia (chronic absence of pleasure) that is there all the time 24/7 in which there are never any brief moments of pleasure, I was told by my doctor (psychiatrist) that this is a negative symptom of schizophrenia since I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and that there is no validated treatment for it and that I am just going to have to learn to live with it.  There is no way I could ever possibly accept living a life in which I have no pleasure to enjoy anything in my life.  My pleasure, to me, is more important than the air I breathe to stay alive.  I live off my pleasure.  It's more important to me than my heart which beats to keep me alive.  Me having this strong desire to have my full pleasure back in life is not just some want.  It is far more important than a want and is far more important than a need.  Needs are defined as being more important than wants since needs are things that we use to survive such as the air we breathe and such.  But since my pleasure is far more important to me than any of those other needs to survive, then my pleasure is more important than some need.  It is an intrinsic part of me that defines me and my life as being good and worth living.  I would rather be dead from lack of air and other things than to live a life of no pleasure.

 

To me, how I feel is the only thing that matters in terms of my personal life.  In other words, if I feel good, then that means me and my life are going great.  But if I feel bad or if I don't feel anything, then me and my life are nothing good at all.  It doesn't matter how much I help others and make their lives good without my pleasure, me and my own personal life are still nothing good at all without my pleasure.  All my personality traits such as my intelligence, creativity, and everything else in life are nothing good at all in terms of my own personal life without my pleasure.  This is a strict value and belief I hold.  Please do not try and change it at all.  Otherwise, that will cause me to become enraged and psychotic.  This is because I MUST have my life of full pleasure back and I could never possibly accept my absence of pleasure and to live for other things in life instead without my pleasure.  Yes, I still value other good people such as my family.  But since I have just as much good value as any other good person, then that gives me every right to have focus towards myself and to want my own personal life of pleasure given back to me.  To say that I have no right to have value and focus towards that and that I should instead focus and live for other things and for other people would be no different than if I came up to you and told you to have all the attention and focus towards me.  

 

Therefore, it would be selfish of you to tell me so and it would be selfish and offensive for me to tell you to abandon your own values in life just so you could live a life that is not only nothing good at all without that said thing in your life which was the one and only thing that made your life good and worth living, but is also a life in which you have abandoned your own value (focus) towards yourself and are catering to me.  So if I can never recover my pleasure, then that gives me every right to end my life since I have just as much good value as any other good person.  Since I am a good person, then why keep me alive just to suffer with a life that is nothing good at all?  Also, I wouldn't be having lesser good value towards my family and other people in me choosing to end my life.  Rather, the good value that I once invested towards the message of me living for my family and helping them out, this good value has been redirected towards another message of value towards my family.  This new message would say that I just wish for them to move on and find their own ways and strengths in life without me and that I still have full good value towards them even though I have chosen to end my life.  I wouldn't of chosen to end my life with a message towards my family such as that I just don't care for them anymore and that I am the only one who matters in life.  Therefore, since I wouldn't be having such a thought towards my family in me choosing to end my life, then I wouldn't be having lesser good value towards them if I were to choose to end my life.  If I can't get my pleasure back, then I will end my life.  I won't have it any other way.

 

I was on some other depression forum with a user who went by the name "itstrevor."  He said that even though anhedonia does tend to recover for many people, those people who have anhedonia due to schizophrenia tend to not fully recover.  He said that many people with anhedonia do tend to fully recover and that once they recover, it tends to remain recovered.  But as for people with schizophrenia, the anhedonia in schizophrenia tends to be an intractable problem.  He says that anhedonia that is a result of other things in life besides mental illnesses such as Parkinson's disease and schizophrenia, that this version of anhedonia tends to recover since there has been no loss/damage of axons in the brain.  But as for something such as Parkinson's disease and schizophrenia, these mental illnesses cause damage/loss of axons.  Which is why I am asking here if there is some intelligent expert in the mental health field who can tell me if there is any chance of recovery from this anhedonia, what my chances of recovery are, and if it is really due to schizophrenia.  If it's due to something else, then it just might be likely to fully recover.

 

But in the event that it doesn't recover or doesn't sufficiently recover, then to tell me to accept this anhedonia and that I am just going to have to learn to live with it, this would be a complete mockery and insult to me and to the one and only good and greatest life there is to me which would be a life of as much pleasure and as little suffering/little absence of pleasure as possible.  It says to me that I am just going to have to accept and learn to live a life that is nothing good at all without my pleasure.  How we accept problems and move forward in life can only happen if we have found other things in life that makes our lives good despite our problems.  Some people might claim that they can still live their lives even if there is nothing good about them and their lives.  However, these people would of attributed a good value towards living such a life such as them saying that they are fine accepting and moving on in such a life.  Otherwise, if they didn't attribute any good value at all, then they would find no reason to accept and move forward in such a life.  Therefore, since my pleasure has and always will be the only good thing in my personal life, then I can never accept this anhedonia.

 

I am going to tell you just how much my pleasure matters to me and how enraged I would be if I were to lose it for life.  If there was some ferocious lion who somehow took my pleasure away from me and told me that I am just going to have to accept and learn to live with this loss of pleasure, then I would become an enraged psychopath and would slaughter this lion.  I don't care how dangerous and ferocious this lion is.  My pleasure is the one and only thing that defines me and my personal life as being good and I would fearlessly go and slaughter that lion even if it meant me being mauled to death since my life wouldn't matter without my pleasure.  Even the most elite trained warriors might have fear facing something such as lion.  But not me.  I would become so enraged that there would be no trace of fear.

 

My pleasure is so vehemently important to me since it was a very profound good experience for me and my life and made me and my personal life good and worth living.  My personal experience of depression and anhedonia also made me realize just how important it is to have pleasure in life and just how devastating it is to lose your pleasure.  You can take away my limbs, you can take away my sight, and you can take away my hearing.  But if you take away my pleasure, then...

 

So as you can clearly see here, my pleasure is what personally defines my human existence as being good and worth living.  Absolutely nothing is going to take that away from me and leave me in a permanent anhedonic state.  No one or anything else in this life is going to take away and try and change my personal values and beliefs regarding my pleasure either.

Edited by MattMVS7
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There are many treatments for schizophrenia, and they work. Meds and therapy are your best route. I've had anhedonia as a negative symptom before, and it was hell. But there is help out there.

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There are many treatments for schizophrenia, and they work. Meds and therapy are your best route. I've had anhedonia as a negative symptom before, and it was hell. But there is help out there.

 

Thanks so much for your support here.  I am willing to listen to others here as long as they respect my values and beliefs and respect me and my situation.

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By the importance you put on pleasure, and now anhedonia... Welcome to the paradox of hedonism.

Over stimulation leads to numbness... It takes time and life changes to appreciation of simple things like breathing...If you lose that ability

Guaranteed you will want that breath within a few minutes more than anything else on Earth.

I was a alcoholic for 30 years, I wasn't able to stop untill I found something positive to replace that need. But it took over a year till I could get myself stabilized and thinking straight.

For me it was education, I found that learning can be fun. You never run out of things to learn, or how to apply what you learn to your life. I have been doing it for 8 1/2 years, and still sober.

All you have to do is change your mind on what you find enjoyable, and make it something that helps you in a positive way.

Edited by Alienated
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Anhedonia can indeed be a negative symptom of schizophrenia or really any psychosis, and it can be difficult to treat. I'm assuming that you don't have psychosis because you are posting in the Depression Forum. Anhedonia due to depression generally resolves when the underlying depression resolves. If yours hasn't resolved, I suspect the underlying depression is not being effectively treated.

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Anhedonia can indeed be a negative symptom of schizophrenia or really any psychosis, and it can be difficult to treat. I'm assuming that you don't have psychosis because you are posting in the Depression Forum. Anhedonia due to depression generally resolves when the underlying depression resolves. If yours hasn't resolved, I suspect the underlying depression is not being effectively treated.

 

I am no longer depressed (or, at least, there are only brief moments of mild depression that last from either 20 minutes to an hour each day).  My anhedonia did result from an episode of severe depression though which was an episode that has completely passed.  But as the depression from that episode continued to get better and better, my anhedonia has gotten worse and worse.  Therefore, it wouldn't make any sense to say that this depression being unresolved is causing my anhedonia to perpetuate.  Therefore, my anhedonia must of been caused by schizophrenia or could of resulted from my depression in a different way such as that the depression has caused me brain damage and that the mind is turning off my emotions in order to try and repair itself since stress and depression are known to cause damage to the brain.

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By the importance you put on pleasure, and now anhedonia... Welcome to the paradox of hedonism.

Over stimulation leads to numbness... It takes time and life changes to appreciation of simple things like breathing...If you lose that ability

Guaranteed you will want that breath within a few minutes more than anything else on Earth.

I was a alcoholic for 30 years, I wasn't able to stop untill I found something positive to replace that need. But it took over a year till I could get myself stabilized and thinking straight.

For me it was education, I found that learning can be fun. You never run out of things to learn, or how to apply what you learn to your life. I have been doing it for 8 1/2 years, and still sober.

All you have to do is change your mind on what you find enjoyable, and make it something that helps you in a positive way.

 

I'm glad you have found something in your life of good value and have moved on.  However, that does not and will never apply to me.  My pleasure is my own true defined personal good value and greatness in life and nothing can ever change that no matter what.

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 However, that does not and will never apply to me.  My pleasure is my own true defined personal good value and greatness in life and nothing can ever change that no matter what.

 

Why the elaborate preamble? You are obviously unwilling to actually take into account what others have said and refuse to *see* beyond the length of your fingertips.

 

 

 

BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE DISRESPECT AND BELITTLE MY SITUATION BY TELLING ME THINGS SUCH AS THAT I AM JUST WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME HERE AND THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE AND/OR KEEP IT TO MYSELF):

 

You certainly have this right, but in a way you do not even recognize. This is the first of your posts I have read, but I agree that until and unless you are able to unwind the thread that has you so tightly wound you do need to spend a great deal of time and effort being introspective.

 

 

ETA...you demand respect, yet give none to other members. Amazing, not.

Edited by Indigo 'n dye
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 However, that does not and will never apply to me.  My pleasure is my own true defined personal good value and greatness in life and nothing can ever change that no matter what.

 

Why the elaborate preamble? You are obviously unwilling to actually take into account what others have said and refuse to *see* beyond the length of your fingertips.

 

 

 

BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE DISRESPECT AND BELITTLE MY SITUATION BY TELLING ME THINGS SUCH AS THAT I AM JUST WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME HERE AND THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE AND/OR KEEP IT TO MYSELF):

 

You certainly have this right, but in a way you do not even recognize. This is the first of your posts I have read, but I agree that until and unless you are able to unwind the thread that has you so tightly wound you do need to spend a great deal of time and effort being introspective.

 

 

ETA...you demand respect, yet give none to other members. Amazing, not.

 

 

 

Hitler is a great person.  If I had the choice right now, I would resurrect Hitler and have him slaughter your fucking ass!

 

Oh Hitler, where are you now, huh?  Come out and play...

Edited by MattMVS7
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 However, that does not and will never apply to me.  My pleasure is my own true defined personal good value and greatness in life and nothing can ever change that no matter what.

 

Why the elaborate preamble? You are obviously unwilling to actually take into account what others have said and refuse to *see* beyond the length of your fingertips.

 

 

 

BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE DISRESPECT AND BELITTLE MY SITUATION BY TELLING ME THINGS SUCH AS THAT I AM JUST WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME HERE AND THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE AND/OR KEEP IT TO MYSELF):

 

You certainly have this right, but in a way you do not even recognize. This is the first of your posts I have read, but I agree that until and unless you are able to unwind the thread that has you so tightly wound you do need to spend a great deal of time and effort being introspective.

 

 

ETA...you demand respect, yet give none to other members. Amazing, not.

 

 

 

Hitler is a great person.  If I had the choice right now, I would resurrect Hitler and have him slaughter your fucking ass!

 

Oh Hitler, where are you now, huh?  Come out and play...

 

 

Ah, yes, the ineffectual threat. You are amusing, if nothing else. Slaughter me, yup. yup.

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I'm glad you have found something in your life of good value and have moved on. However, that does not and will never apply to me. My pleasure is my own true defined personal good value and greatness in life and nothing can ever change that no matter what.

Edited by Alienated
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Try nicotine gum. Not being facetious.

You probably need to go to your Pdoc.

You are probably about to get banned.

Edited by Stickler
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 However, that does not and will never apply to me.  My pleasure is my own true defined personal good value and greatness in life and nothing can ever change that no matter what.

 

Why the elaborate preamble? You are obviously unwilling to actually take into account what others have said and refuse to *see* beyond the length of your fingertips.

 

 

 

BUT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT HERE AND NO ONE SHOULD HAVE DISRESPECT AND BELITTLE MY SITUATION BY TELLING ME THINGS SUCH AS THAT I AM JUST WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME HERE AND THAT I SHOULD JUST TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE AND/OR KEEP IT TO MYSELF):

 

You certainly have this right, but in a way you do not even recognize. This is the first of your posts I have read, but I agree that until and unless you are able to unwind the thread that has you so tightly wound you do need to spend a great deal of time and effort being introspective.

 

 

ETA...you demand respect, yet give none to other members. Amazing, not.

 

 

 

Hitler is a great person.  If I had the choice right now, I would resurrect Hitler and have him slaughter your fucking ass!

 

Oh Hitler, where are you now, huh?  Come out and play...

 

 

Ah, yes, the ineffectual threat. You are amusing, if nothing else. Slaughter me, yup. yup.

 

 

I have, in fact, respected members here and have taken their advice in terms of them asking what caused my anhedonia and in terms of me explaining what medication I'm on.  However, advice given by other members here such as that I need to find other good things in my life besides my pleasure, I will never accept such advice.  For me to not accept such advice is not a form of disrespect at all.  It's just a simple matter of that my pleasure is the one and only true good thing to me in life.

 

Also, Hitler would only be a good person if he slaughtered the types of insensitive disrespectful people such as yourself.  The fact that he slaughtered innocent people makes him a bad person.  Therefore, why would you disrespect an innocent person such as myself who only wishes to slaughter you?  I would be the most beautiful and innocent person in the world for having done so.

Edited by MattMVS7
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Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, you are stressing about this too much? And seriously, yelling, intimidating, threatening and pretty much already saying "I'm not going to listen to anything you say, I'm just spewing here" is really not going to get  you a lot of positive responses. No one can "make" you psychotic. And threatening to kill someone over calling you out is just way out of line. I hope you get banned. You are stuck in a very circular thought process and it doesn't matter what advice anyone has for you, you don't take it.

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Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, you are stressing about this too much? And seriously, yelling, intimidating, threatening and pretty much already saying "I'm not going to listen to anything you say, I'm just spewing here" is really not going to get  you a lot of positive responses. No one can "make" you psychotic. And threatening to kill someone over calling you out is just way out of line. I hope you get banned. You are stuck in a very circular thought process and it doesn't matter what advice anyone has for you, you don't take it.

 

Then maybe I should just go back to my family and therapist who do have true genuine respect and compassion towards me.  At least they have no scorn or disrespect towards me and my personal values and beliefs.  Even if I disagree with some of the things they say, they still have full respect and compassion towards me and my personal values and beliefs anyway unlike you or anyone else here.

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This is super out of line to speak to Indigo like that.  She's done nothing to deserve it.  You need to step back and rethink yourself, assuming you are not banned, and that wouldn't be a great loss.

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Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, you are stressing about this too much? And seriously, yelling, intimidating, threatening and pretty much already saying "I'm not going to listen to anything you say, I'm just spewing here" is really not going to get  you a lot of positive responses. No one can "make" you psychotic. And threatening to kill someone over calling you out is just way out of line. I hope you get banned. You are stuck in a very circular thought process and it doesn't matter what advice anyone has for you, you don't take it.

 

Then maybe I should just go back to my family and therapist who do have true genuine respect and compassion towards me.  At least they have no scorn or disrespect towards me and my personal values and beliefs.  Even if I disagree with some of the things they say, they still have full respect and compassion towards me and my personal values and beliefs anyway unlike you or anyone else here. Dude, we just don't like your behavior.

You're being more of an asshole than the mods, that is against rules.

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Then maybe I should just go back to my family and therapist who do have true genuine respect and compassion towards me.  At least they have no scorn or disrespect towards me and my personal values and beliefs.  Even if I disagree with some of the things they say, they still have full respect and compassion towards me and my personal values and beliefs anyway unlike you or anyone else here.

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