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How do you answer when someone asks what you do?


surreal
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I am trying to prepare to answer this question if and when it should ever come up (mainly from family). Only my mom and bf know about me being on disability and of course my doctor. I would never tell anyone else. But how do I answer them if they were to ask me what I do or what job I have been doing? I don't want to end up sounding rude and saying that it's none of their business. I just need an answer that will get them off my back... I also don't want anyone else to know about me being on disability so telling them that is not an option. I am already feeling paranoid that even my mom knows and wish I hadn't told her. But I also think a lot of this is stemming from my paranoia and psychosis.

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Oh no! I had this huge reply that was super awesome but lost internet connection at just the "right" time. LOL

 

What I do is change the topic and focus on the person asking. In a nutshell. Or make a joke and quickly change the subject.

 

Hope that makes sense and helps some!

Good luck surreal!

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Thank you, Cheese! Oh no, that sucks that you lost your reply!

 

I have a hard time being assertive and I tend to crumble under pressure. My birthday is coming up and I fear I will be faced with this situation which is why I have been ruminating over it. I suppose I could also say that I have been busy taking care of my health or something... blah. But again, I also think my health is no one's business but my own and my doctors. I am a very paranoid and private person.

 

Thanks for your suggestion! :)

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I volunteer very part-time, but that is what I say without saying how often. When my children were younger people assumed I chose to stay home with them. I had one person ignore me when they found out I don't work, but i didn't combust. I felt it was her issue. I like Cheese's idea. I try turning the attention to the other person or say "nothing much" and then talk about something else.

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Yes I agree confused. 

 

I have found, people like to talk about themselves. I should say "most" people. Not us paranoid types, but that's ok. That's just fine. We are who we are.

 

So I re-direct the topic to a local news event, a movie, a book, another hobby, etc. Or volunteer work or a very part time job.

 

I also have said I'm in between jobs at the moment but am considering my options as far as school or work goes. And what do you do?

 

The key is to be consistent. With whatever you choose to say.

 

I agree though. A little lie is not going to hurt anyone in this type of situation and your health is YOUR business. You are right. If you choose not to say you are on SSDI, that's just fine. It is your personal business and not that of other's.

 

I hate that question to be honest. What do you do? As if work or what we choose for a job/career, somehow defines who we are as a person and what we represent and who we really are (as in personality and interests, etc.).

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"I'm between jobs."

 

I just say I am on disability. But I am actually on it for chronic daily migraine, not bipolar, so it isn't as revealing to say that. I will say I'm bipolar without much prompting though. I sometimes say, "I'm on disability for chronic daily migraine, and I have bipolar, so that makes it worse."

 

But I'm kind of in-your-face about being bipolar, and wouldn't expect anyone else to do what I am doing.

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Thank you for the suggestions and advice everyone! I really appreciate it! :)

 

I am thinking about doing something to change the topic of discussion if this is to come up at all. Or anything regarding my personal health issues. I might even just say it isn't anyone's business lol. But of course, I am not assertive enough to say that.

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When I wasn't working I said I was trying to write a science fiction book - which was actually something I wanted to do at one point. But at the time it was a total lie. I felt it was a lie I was entitled to though to keep people from prying and make me less anxious about socializing. It's a grey area though - I think it's wrong to lie to impress people or get something out of them, but in this case it was really to protect myself. Dunno.

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