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Another soul in the padded room....


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Well, I knew I had joined the right forum when the introduction threads are titled "Who the Hell are you?" 

 

Made my morning!

 

Sooooooooo. 

 

A little (or a lot maybe) about me. .

 

39 year old male, live in NC. 

 

As a teen/early 20's, I was a very "moody" person.  I was always just accepted that way (or at leas that is what I was told most of the time), and was "treated" for depression. I also had crazy angry outbursts. Went through a handful of different meds, and they all seemed to make things worse. Especially Prozac.

 

At 19 I married my first wife, as she was pregnant with our first, and that was one hell of a rocky relationship.  I was a bastard, and although I never physically hurt her, I was a verbally violent person, and would punch walls, tear things up... it's no wonder she was always scared of me.  If i did that to things in the house she probably thought she was next. We lasted about 3 years. Also the anxiety of the marriage had me breaking out in hives every few months, and the docs thought it was allergies.

 

At 30 I married my 2nd, and things were pretty much the same, just no kids.  Kept having those damned "allergy attacks" and became convinced I was allergic to marriage. (Still use that line today) 

 

Finally in my early 30's I saw a Pdoc, and was diagnosed Bi-Polar.  I told here she was the crazy one, and rejected the diagnosis and went on about my way living life like I always had. swapping jobs, angry outbursts, the whole nine. 

 

Soooo.. fast forward to a year ago.  Nothing had changed, and after some conversations and going through the same crap with yet another relationship.... I found me another Pdoc. She diagnoses me BiPolar with aggressive Mania, which I think falls in line with Intermittent Explosive Disorder, but I could be wrong.  She prescribed me Depakote, I really didn't like the diagnosis but I said "what the hell" and ran my script out, and basically didn't go back.  

 

Well then.  The meds of course ran out and everything went right back to how it was for me.  After a couple of guys at work talking to me and commenting on my mood swings, I finally accepted my diagnosis and went crawling back to the Pdoc. She even commented she figured it would be a year before she saw me again... and she was right. 

 

So now, I have been on my Depakote for 3 weeks, and have Diazepam PRN for sleep, which I don't use much.  But I am a lot more stable, and with the past week I have had with work... I can really tell a difference and those around me have really noticed.  

 

So, I am here to share, learn and just be in a community or like minded folks.  

 

 

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Welcome to Crazyboards.  A lot of us here at CB have difficulty accepting our diagnosis, but I'm glad you went back to the pdoc and are now in treatment.  Stability can be a really lovely thing, especially if you have spent a lot of years having ups and downs.

 

Let us know if we can help you with anything.

 

olga

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