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I just joined CB and I didn't really want to make a new thread to whine about myself but I guess I feel a bit scared out here on my own.

I'm currently trying to complete my last semester of college, after already having to repeat a year. I'm only taking 1 class, but it's a constant struggle. I can't attend class and I got behind from the start and have yet to fully catch up. 

I was just diagnosed last year with BPNOS--BP1, with rapid cycling. I was on Lamictal for a bit fall/winter of 2013, but my dad lost his job so there went my insurance, and I just got it back this semester. Back then my BP had seemed quite manageable, but since October, I feel like I've been holding onto the side of a cliff by my fingernails, trying my best not to fall off. I refuse to not graduate this year, though, because I've come so far, and I'm not repeating another year. I either finish this semester or I don't graduate.

 

This semester, I've gotten back on the Lamictal along with Seroquel, and we've slowly been raising both, but I have yet to feel a difference. In fact, as the semester has progressed, I've felt all the more unstable. I feel like maybe I could benefit from IP, if anything to get the medications in order, but I remain firm on my decision to see the semester through to the end. At this point, there are just 6 weeks left.

 

I guess, I just want to know that I'm not the only one trying to hold it together like a car that you can tell is falling apart but you're just praying will make it to the end of the road trip xD

Edited by Sertsana

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Welcome to CB :)

You are definitely not alone. I'm struggling to keep myself together right now too, as are many others here. You're in good company, lol.

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You're definitely not alone. I struggle daily with BP 2 depression and force myself to do most things otherwise I'd be out of work. Keep with your pdoc and up the meds until you feel somewhat better. This will pass. Good luck and prayers for you.

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Thanks everyone, we upped my seroquel a bit more and I'm trying to keep distracted and and busy, so I think I'll be okay, I just get scared sometimes because I'm not used to this x)
 

 

 

 

 

 

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I hear ya. I have a degree program I just started and it's mandatory for my job, so I can't drop it, even though it is triggering me like mad. I would love to drop it but I can't, unless I quit my job. It sucks big donkey balls. So now I am cycling again. Ugh.

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I hear ya. I have a degree program I just started and it's mandatory for my job, so I can't drop it, even though it is triggering me like mad. I would love to drop it but I can't, unless I quit my job. It sucks big donkey balls. So now I am cycling again. Ugh.

I wish us both luck in making it to the end of our degrees with our sanity intact x)

Edited by Sertsana

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I know you won't want to hear this but prioritise your health above all. If you wind up in hospital you're not going to be able to finish your degree anyway. I've dropped a degree for health reasons and it wasn't the worst thing in the world. You recover. You pick up the pieces. And hopefully sometimes you wind up stronger. All I'm saying is relax a little and try not to give yourself such a hard time. Let your brain be on your side - not fighting against you.

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I wish us both luck in making it to the end of our degrees with our sanity intact x)

 

Me too! You have a lot less to go than me, I just started in January. Good luck with the rest of your semester. I agree though, that if you need IP, then go. Your health is more important.

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