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For those of you with BP II in "remission"


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How does your family/spouse react to it? I am feeling SO SO much better that I just want to shout it from the mountain tops.  But I feel that I am getting a somewhat mediocre response from my husband.  I know I have for so long stuffed my thoughts down and lived in my own personal battle with my brain that no one really knew what was going on with me.  However, I've never felt as good as I feel now and I want my husband to rejoice with me, but he's very even keel and laid back and always has been.  I am having trouble not feeling disappointed.

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I'm not a BP2 or in stable remission (yet), but every day we can check off "baseline" on the old mood chart and not say we were depressed or hypo/manic means a victory. One moer day of "sobriety", in our case, remission. That is such a cause to feel great, optimistic, and to rejoice! Go and should it out!

He's probably afraid to feel excited because one second he's excited, and then you have an episode or something. I'd be wary too, I find myself being wary of myself. But you have to have someone cheering- try to rally family and friends, and be your own cheerleader too.

Once he sees you are stable for awhile, point out your good mood charts, and help him to feel good too.

My boyfriend also suffers from this problem Let's beat our men over the head.

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Well, hard to get excited when (like me) you have witnessed someone "get better" then decide "I don't need these silly meds anymore" and start the cycle all over again.

Not sure how your history has gone, but it always takes me a while to warm up to the idea that hubby is "normal" again...and then there is always the fear that is just isn't going to last.

Just be patient and enjoy yourself. He will come around in time.

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My dad still treats me like a breakable freak, evidently out of the conviction that he's responsible for everything that goes wrong with his damaged daughter. He acted like this before the diagnosis, though, when it was assumed that I "just" had depression. *sigh*

Most of my friends don't believe I have BP anyway. This is due, in large part, to the fact that I pretty much never see them. A few of them have idly reported "um, what the hell are you ON?" while I danced about wildly and so forth, but I generally hide when I feel really bad, hibernate when I'm depressed, and go gadding about quite happily on my own when I'm hypomanic. I suppose I call them at two in the morning when I'm hypo, but even that isn't recognized as pathological, merely exuberantly rude. And so their reactions run along the lines of disbelief ("are you sure you need all those drugs?") and "so what," most of the time.

My sister knows me. My best friend knows me. They're happy I'm stable. They aren't up for celebration, though. Oh, well.

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How much trust has got to be rebuilt, Anne? How many years of cycling and the resultant emotional abuse has he suffered? It's hard as hell, I know. One minute I'm all screwed up, then a magic pill and two months later and I'm feeling dead stable and totally in control. But there's no magic pill for the other partner, I'm afraid. It's going to take time.

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Heya Anne,

I want this reaction all the time.

Hey, I'm not so wacked now, I'm really doing positive things, it's going to get better, be happy.

But if your SO is like mine, he's heard it all before a hundred times.

I've said the EXACT SAME WORDS -- and felt the same feelings -- a hundred times before.

Each time I *believed* wholeheartedly every word I said.

I think they are protecting themselves.

If it was me, I would be *hoping* it was really okay this time, but *so afraid* it was the same old crap, that I would be *extremely cautious* about being happy or even letting my guard down.

I can say that now because DH is at work.

See how I actually empathize later.

--ncc--

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