Wasn't I Supposed to Get Better, Doctor?

[xlmplmplmp]

Hello fellow humans!

 

I'm xlmplmplmp, which is just an unpronouncable internet moniker. The powers that b got me when I was young (12 years old) and told me I had OCD and needed SSRIs. Fast forward thirteen years and I decide I'm done with meds and taper off too quickly. Low and behold I discover the wonders of PSSD and furthermore experience the consequences that 10+ years of SSRI usage have on the developing brain. I discover and devour Robert Whitaker's Anatomy of an Epidemic and realize we've all been fucked from the beginning, by design, for the benefit of the most ruthless organizations on the planet. I'm trying to claw my way out of the shitty situation I'm in but I don't think I have much of a way out besides ODing or jumping off a bridge.

 

Anyways, if anyone has found a way to beat OCD or withdraw from their meds successfully or treat PSSD or whatever please let me know before I show myself the door out.

 

Uh, I guess since I gave out my sob story I should offer to hear anyone else's.

 

Best of luck and may you find at least a tiny shred of happiness or meaning before you die,

 

xlmplmplmp

 

[WinterRosie]

Well, that's just a lovely and heartwarming story ain't it?

I just wanted you to know that we're a pro-treatment site and for the vast majority of our members that means being on meds. So that's our ideological slant.

If you have any questions/comments/concerns/inquiries/etc feel free to ask the staff member of your choice.

 

Looking forward to seeing your posts around

[Sras]

I went off meds for a couple of years not so long ago and found that it took some time for things to get working down there again. 

 

Do you have a therapist you can talk to? They might be able to help, especially if you're thinking of hurting yourself. I remember how bad it was coming off an SSRI with a slow taper so it can't be nice to do it quickly. 

[San]

Hi, welcome to CB. We are a pro-treatment forum, as said.

 

Meds can make a huge difference. With OCD, therapy, like CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) can be very beneficial. I found it helped with my anxiety and gave me coping skills. OCD is a mean, lying, bitch and there are treatments. 

 

With meds,  its best to have a doctor help taper you off them, rather than quitting on your own, because SSRI's can have nasty discontinuation effects, and sometimes a doc will change the med (for example, sometimes a doc will switch to Prozac due to its long half life, to make discontinuation easier) or give you temporary meds to make the discontinuation easier on you. 

 

There are meds other than SSRI's. Antipsychotics come to mind, and they aren't bad, scary drugs like it sounds, or some make it out to be. They can be very effective at treating a variety of conditions, from depression to anxiety to psychosis and so on. They have many uses.

 

A therapist is a great idea as well. Therapy can help you have a sounding board, you can bounce off ideas, and techniques to overcome the OCD. Its not easy, and it's not quick, but in time, its effective in many people. Some people don't need meds - just therapy. You could try finding a good therapist that specializes in OCD or even anxiety. I know you're wary of taking meds, so therapy is a great option. It can take a few tries to find the right therapist, but it's very promising. 

 

I hope you take our suggestions into play and don't jump off a building or OD. There are other ways out (like therapy, or meds) that can have you living a good life. It took me many years to reach a remission, and two suicide attempts, but I'm finally living a good life - and many (including doctors) told me I'd be dead, or in and out of hospitals. So there is hope! I do suffer from a different illness than you, but I know how it feels to be desperate and want it all to end. 

 

If you need to vent, a blog here is a good idea. We also have chat, which isn't crisis chat, but you can come in and talk about what's bothering you with other members. We're all crazy here, and everyone has a different experience. I've gotten a lot of great advice from this site, and learned a lot. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Blue names (with "Inmate" under) are moderators, orange names with overlines are admins, and purple names are chat moderators.

[olga]

I've got my tiny shred of happiness, thank you very much.

 

I'm moving this to the Introductions forum, since that is what I think it's supposed to be.

Welcome to Crazyboards.

 

olga

[xlmplmplmp]

Thanks for the replies everyone! I suppose I shouldn't be so bitter. Yeah, I realize everyone takes their own path through life. I suppose my OCD is oriented now exclusively on med side effects, so staying on the meds doesn't really help that much, lol. I guess it came full-circle. Different obsessions over different periods of time and for whatever reason I find myself in this double-bind. I am reducing slowly under the guidance of my doctor and I am seeing a therapist. I'll try to express my bitterness in other ways. Oh Sras, thanks for the encouragement. I have to get the whole "permanent" thing out of my head. Maybe my OCD isn't permanent either.

[Fluffypinkbunny]

Have you tried other meds besides ssri's?  AP work wonders for me.

 

Hang in there! I hope you're feeling better soon.

[xlmplmplmp]

Uh, well I was hospitalized after stopping Prozac. I requested Ritalin for the occasional pick me up. I tried a dose of Abilify before but - believe it or not - I went on an 8-hour trip and nearly killed myself. It was weird.