Wonderful.Cheese Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 (edited) . Edited June 1, 2015 by Wonderful.Cheese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchizoHH Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I'm so freaking upset. Pdoc has told sleep dr no stimulants until whenever he deems it appropriate. I was told to talk to shitty pdoc if I wanted more answers or to discuss things further. Well I don't even see pdoc til end of July. So I guess I get to "discuss" things with him then. I can't wait that long! So I guess I have to sleep my life away. I just may as well kill myself. I mean it. That's it. It's all over. I asked sleep dr why I spent thousands on CPAP machine and supplies, meds for narcolepsy, multiple sleep studies, EKG tests, office appointments, wasted time, etc. if this was all for nothing because I have not been helped in the slightest. I am still sleeping 15 hours a day and I'm still tired every second of the day. No response. I just feel sick. I'm killing myself tomorrow. I can't do it now or husband will just restrain me or take me to the hospital. That's it I'm done I've reached my limit. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am sleeping way too much to and it bothers me. I drink caffeine all day long and it is not helping. I hope you find some relief soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincess88 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I'm so freaking upset. Pdoc has told sleep dr no stimulants until whenever he deems it appropriate. I was told to talk to shitty pdoc if I wanted more answers or to discuss things further. Well I don't even see pdoc til end of July. So I guess I get to "discuss" things with him then. I can't wait that long! So I guess I have to sleep my life away. I just may as well kill myself. I mean it. That's it. It's all over. I asked sleep dr why I spent thousands on CPAP machine and supplies, meds for narcolepsy, multiple sleep studies, EKG tests, office appointments, wasted time, etc. if this was all for nothing because I have not been helped in the slightest. I am still sleeping 15 hours a day and I'm still tired every second of the day. No response. I just feel sick. I'm killing myself tomorrow. I can't do it now or husband will just restrain me or take me to the hospital. That's it I'm done I've reached my limit. Please don't do that. I'm fairly new to this website, but I do know your one of the more respected members, and we need you! Let alone your family. Suicide ends the problem for you, but it will be the beginning of a lifetime of suffering for your family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distant Rabbit Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Cheese- I'm sorry you're in such a bad place. Is it possible for you to see a different pdoc? It sounds like the one you have now is not at all responsive to how things are going for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wooster Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 It's incredibly frustrating to feel like you're hitting dead ends with contradicting information from different providers. So much of it is out of your hands, and that loss of control makes everything feel worse and desperate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAL9000 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Please don't! Maybe a new doctor? Maybe going IP and seeing what they can do to help? Anything! I nearly Kacked in June so maybe I have a different perspective but life can be so great and I think will be for you again that its just terrible to give it up. I hit a huge low but I knew from others that it can get better (SO much better) that its worth being miserable for a while to get to that state again. Plus you have your friends (many here), many there, your Family the spouse etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mim Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Cheese, honey, I really hope that you're okay. I'm worried about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Cheese, I really feel for you. Please don't do this. Go IP if you must. I know you don't want to, but it might be the best thing for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderful.Cheese Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) . Edited June 1, 2015 by Wonderful.Cheese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Glad to hear you're safe, Cheese. Do ADs push you into mania? Is that why you think your pdoc will say no? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Cheese, I'm glad you are ok, but I still very strongly encourage you to go to the hospital. You need to get your meds sorted. Getting an AD now is like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound. You need the hospital. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarn Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Cheese, thinking of you. I agree with jt. Your meds have been all over the place and you need a safe place to try to stabilize (and see a different pdoc!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincess88 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I am ok. I have slept all through last evening until just now pretty much. Sorry to worry anyone. I feel like shit . I am so sorry. Husband has called team and asked for an AD for me. I don't know what to do. Pdoc will prob say no anyway. Tdoc is worried because I was too tired to come in to see her today. I lied and said I had no plans. Oh well. So glad to hear your ok! As I'm sure many other here were, I was so worried about you last night. I know what it's like to feel like your at your wits end and just can't take anymore. Maybe going to the hospital as IP would be a good idea just because it would be the quickest way to get your medication problem sorted out. I understand if you don't want to do that, many people don't. Or maybe you should try to find a new pdoc. You should have someone your comfortable with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mim Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) Thanks for updating, Cheese. I am with JT on this one: maybe the hospital would be a good idea. You need some care that your current care team isn't adequately providing. Edited May 29, 2015 by Mim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iaawal Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Wooo! Glad to hear you're still here, Cheese!! FWIW I'm on two AD's and not manic that often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderful.Cheese Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) . Edited June 1, 2015 by Wonderful.Cheese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchizoHH Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) So glad you are feeling better cheese. As you can tell from the replies here you are valued and loved. One day at a time... Edited May 29, 2015 by SchizoHH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcePrincess88 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Thank you guys you make me so happy. You are too kind! I know IP would be best deep down but I can't do it. I am needed to help my grandma move out of her apartment today and tomorrow. I literally can't be IP right now. Nor do I want to. I broke down and illegally took some Ritalin these last 2 days. What was I supposed to do? I need to help my grandmother move into a new apartment today and tomorrow. No way would I have been able to handle that without the Ritalin. I know. I should have not done it but wtf was I seriously supposed to do. Tell my 82 year old grandmother that sorry you have to move by yourself because I'm too tired and depressed? No one calls me back or responds to my messages either. I told sleep dr's nurse that I was very desperate. I had things that NEEDED to be done, such as the moving. I don't know if they are not taking this seriously enough or if they just don't give a shit? Also, I have several calls in to my care team about starting Wellbutrin hopefully. Maybe that will keep me more awake without making me manic. I don't think stimulants are a good long term solution for me personally anyway. Maybe a prn thing, maybe. I just tip into mania and get crazy agitated. I don't know if Wellbutrin gets along well with stimulants though anyway. I will probably blog too. I feel rambley sorry. I'm going to be trying to get on Wellbutrin on Monday at my next pdoc apppointment. I hear it has wonderful antidepressant quantities and has a stimulant like effect. I'm quite excited to try it. I sympathize with the situation with your doctors. It can be hard to get in touch with doctors on the phone. And it's the weekend, so that''s going to be it even harder. If you haven't heard from them by Monday, I would go to their office and demand to be seen. If they refuse to return your phone calls, then they won't be able to put you off if you come into the office, I understand not wanting to go IP. It's a serious decision to make. Let us know if you have any progress with your doctors. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snarkygirl Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I'm sorry you're going through this. It has to be so frustrating. I don't come out much to post but I just had to tell you that I'm thinking of you and hoping you get treatment soon. I'm currently be tapered off of wellbutrin. It's bittersweet because it was a great AD and was stimulating. It just stimulated me in the wrong way. Over the two months I was on it I became more and more agitated and manic. After my raging out last week, enough was enough and pdoc is taking it away. It's a great medication but where you are struggling right now maybe you should wait until you're stable before trying it? Just giving my current experience. It might work great for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wonderful.Cheese Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 (edited) . Edited June 1, 2015 by Wonderful.Cheese Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jarn Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Oh that's good Cheese. Fingers crossed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts