confused Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 people don't suck, but I don't know where to post. I am not good at setting boundaries and have a hard time knowing what is reasonable, so it is more or less if someone is too demanding, I cut them off. I will have little contact. It works, sort of, but there has to be a better way. I have a neighbor who is really down on her luck. I don't know how to help her with most of her problems, but I wanted to do something small. She had my husband take some photos because she thinks things are missing. She stopped over today and asked for a ride, which was no problem. Then, she came over again to ask for another ride to drive her to a house, but she didn't know the address. We drove around a bit, but I couldn't find the house. She told me she had anxiety so I gave her a card I had with some resources. She said it won't become a thing where she is always asking for rides. I hope that is true. My question is, how do I determine what I want to set as a boundary? I don't know if that is a reasonable question, but I am looking for some input on when to say "no" . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I think that "no" changes for everyone. Some people enjoy driving and, if they liked the conversation, wouldn't mind driving around for a while I'm sure. I'd hate it. For me, that would be a huge no. I'm guessing that you didn't like it as it inspired you to post here, and to ask about it. If you didn't like it then it is a no for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 No, I don't mind driving, at least not to stores. Thanks Rosie. I tend to get ahead of myself. It isn't even a problem right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 I say 'no' when I am asked to do something that will cause any stress, anxiety ... anything negative ... that will affect me. It gets easier to say no after you've done it a few times and boundaries have been established. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 thanks Melissa. That helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnaBanana Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 If it is causing a problem, or interferes with things of your own, then it's a no. Like if you have to be somewhere at 3:00 and she shows up at 2:30, well then, it's a no. If you have things to do and giving a ride would interfere with that, then no. If she starts to ask too much and it starts to make you uncomfortable, then no. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 This has become a non-issue. As usual my anticipatory anxiety was just that. Thanks for all of the input Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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