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Hey im Alice, 18, i found my people it seems.

been experiencing mental health issues from a very young age. experiencing my first psychotic stuff at age 9, manifested as voices and shadowy figures i still constantly relapse into believing its all real. due to the voices i starting killing off a lot of rabbits in my old town also set a bunch of small and controlled fires would constantly get it fights and abusive to people. was diagnosed with a conduct disorder at 11, a psychotic disorder (not specified) and child pyromania. was also diagnosed as having GID my mum still denies this but fuck her anyway. i grew out of the pyromania, the conduct disorder became a lack of empathy, i still have empathy just i have severe issues with emotions and other peoples emotions. got a new CAMHS therapist (cause mum disagreed about GID) got diagnosed with high functioning Autism as i grew up i became socially isolated and refused to socialize, became agoraphobic and couldnt understand how interaction works at all (still have issues with people).

grew up abused and neglected by mum, my old therapist (Just moved out of cahms and waiting for adult therapy) thought i had PTSD but i disagree with this. more like seething hatred for her. GID became Transgenderism, came out last year. ran away from home at 15 to live with dad and gran always been depressed and anxious around and outdoors, got very socially isolated. went into CAHMS at 17 last year in june. slowly recovered from agoraphobia. now i go out. became less depressed and anxious, Psychosis kept getting worse, still continues to do so. got severe insomnia due to psychosis 6 days being my record of longest awake. therapists thought i was a depressed psychotic, was proved wrong. currently out of therapy awaiting adult therapy. met lots of friends at therapy including when i was 13 someone who stabbed me during a manic episode, shockingly still friends.

since then i fear i have become a oniomaniac and a binge eater.

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