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What does it feel like to be manic?


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For me when I am manic, first I can smell everything and everything smells amazing and complex.  Then my skin buzzes, its like I am electric. I take on huge projects and become obsessed with completing them.  I do not eat.  I speak incredibly fast.  I am over animated to a ridiculous degree.  In general I am euphoric in the beginning.  My entire body is in continual movement.  Sitting is difficult and i typically am still moving a part of my body.  I laugh inappropriately. 

I drive like a freakin maniac.  

I tend to be hyper sexual.  Masturbating up to 5 times a day. I spend money, make plans.  Concert tickets, vacations. 

Then it changes, I am argumentative, confrontational and a bit paranoid.  I begin to isolate as I dont trust anyone.  

And then I crash.

The End

This is me as well. 

And I'll admit it here, I love mania.

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^ Meeeeee too! I love mania. I tell my Psychiatrist so almost every appointment. And he always says somehting like 'Meghan, too much of a good thing isn't always a good thing'.

LOL! My pdoc shakes his head because I always question him if I really, really, really need to be on meds.

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^ Meeeeee too! I love mania. I tell my Psychiatrist so almost every appointment. And he always says somehting like 'Meghan, too much of a good thing isn't always a good thing'.

LOL! My pdoc shakes his head because I always question him if I really, really, really need to be on meds.

heheh me too.  My Pdoc cocks his head to one side, and says " you know, I know you like mania, but each time it happens its harder and harder to get you back down, so we got get it under control."    I question my DX a lot, or I used to.  Not so much now, its been proven over the last year that why yes I am BP.

glad we dont all have the same Pdoc we would drive him crazy,  lol

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For me, the biggest problem I have when I get full mania is paranoid hallucinations. It also usually comes with being revved up, not sleeping, agitation so bad that I feel physically coiled up inside just waiting to snap and completely loose control, irritability, prickly, can stop spending. I usually can keep it contained with intense exertion until the instant I don't and then need others to get me to the hospital ASAP. Others describe me as so uptight that they can't imagine how I haven't already exploded.

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Mania can feel fun at first.

When I start going into hypomania, I get irritable, angered easily, start sleeping less, making huge plans, spending a lot of money on a whim, get a bit more paranoid, some of the delusions come back.

When I'm full blown manic, I get angry at the drop of a pin, I don't sleep, my plans are the best, I'm the best, money just flies away from me, then, if I'm not lucky, I get paranoid, delusional, start hearing/seeing things.

Then there's dysphoric mania, or mixed episodes. I have all the energy in the world, but don't know how to use it. I get really angry, really irritable, the paranoia gnaws at me, I hate myself, feel like shit, get suicidal.

It all depends on you. 

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I get two types of mania - the fun one where you're loud and full of energy and wanting sex all the time - where even a lamp post looks desirable and then there's the mania that makes me feel agitated and wanting to stab anyone that comes near me. 

This is pretty much how it works with me too. I don't get full-blown mania (I think?) I just get hypomania.

When I an having the "fun" hypomania, I usually go out more... clubbing/dancing, hiking, volunteering, visiting friends, dumpster diving at the grocery store, driving for over 10 hours to go to a festival in Toronto, taking a plane across the country to go to an anarchist conference,  biking 20+ miles at 2am for no damn reason...

I tend to get hypersexual, and I end up trying to convince my partner to be polyamorus because I just want to fuck most of my friends and acquaintances. I masturbate a lot. I want sex all the time, and there is no way my partner could keep up, even if he wanted to. I make out with people other than my partner, and then end up crying because I reallyreallyreally want to have sex with them, but can't because I' already in a relationship.

I also start projects that I really can't handle; major art projects, reorganizing my apartment, expanding my garden, an so on.

I spend money I don't have on things I don't need. My spending sprees are usually only $100 or $200 at most, but for me that's a lot of money. There have been times where my partner has had to lend me money because my spending sprees cut into rent money. My last spending spree was on lingerie, which I really didn't need. But I decided while I was hypo that I really needed to buy myself a bunch of sexy underthings. 

I am really happy and really social. I say a lot of really stupid things when I'm hypomanic, but at the time I don't care. It's only afterwards that I look back, think about what I said, and realize what an asshole or an idiot I sound like.

I still sleep some, maybe 6-8 hours a night. For reference, when I'm at baseline I usually sleep for 10 hours, so 6-8 is little sleep for me. I have plenty of energy. I don't eat much, because I don't really experience hunger as much as I do when I'm depressed or baseline.


Then there's the other type of hypomania, where I am agitated, snippy, and am probably thinking about how much I'd like to smack people.


During either type of hyopmania, I make a lot of lists. Lists of things I want to do, places I want to go, things I want to learn, career goals, life goals, and the steps required to do any of these things.


Bonus: There are also mixed states, where I have all of the energy and agitation of a bad hypomanic episode, plus I hate my life and everything around me. This is when I end up getting really suicidal. It's terrifying.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was recently diagnosed with borderline personality, and I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder as a teenager, but I'm so goddamn scared that I'm actually bipolar. I don't know if I really fit the bpd diagnosis -- maybe I do, but I s2g I've had two manic episodes in the past year and I might be having another one right now. The first time -- just a few weeks after my 26th birthday -- I accused my boyfriend of cheating on me with some dumb bitch named Steph and then attempted to swallow a bottle of Tylenol in front of him, and the second time -- a couple weeks before my 27th birthday -- I fought with all my friends and a bunch of people that I worked with online, and then pretended to masturbate on webcam for a bunch of dirty old men with lots of money. Obviously I need to bring this up, but idk idk I was just diagnosed with BPD. Maybe I only feel this way because I lack insight into my own BPD? I already told my doctor and pdoc about the "manic" episodes but they seemed to have "triggers" so...

IDK, secretly I know I must be bipolar and I've known this since November. :/ How do I bring this up?

Hi, I'm manic right now!

Look for my reply to the topic probably somewhere near the top of this sub forum called ...erm..."What have you done impulsively lately" or something. It will be very recent on the last page prob.

That should give you some insight.

Much Love,

Chris.

Edited by ChrisInTheTrees
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Nowadays, my manic symptoms are mostly filled with mixed states and psychosis (well that's what it was diagnosed as -  might change).

When I was first diagnosed, I remember it was very different. I went through this long manic phase (I think - all up in the air now) where I was super charismatic, happy, and excited for this mission I'd been given. I had all these friends around me feeding into this utterly ridiculous delusion I convinced all of them was real. They were all gladly doing whatever I told them.

That episode was probably the only euphoria I've experienced. I felt powerful, chosen, enthusiastic for life, colours were so intense to look at, I had heightened senses (I think) because i thought I could hear things better and see things better than anyone else. I drained a college fund I had been lucky enough to be given by my grandmother, in a matter of months. But... I still feel fond of this because I was so damn happy during that time and I've never had a happy mania since.

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My "mania"...if that is what it is, generally expresses itself as new ideas with global implications. Every idea I have seems like it can save the world, and then I feel I must carry it out. I go about researching it and making plans, and usually contacting important famous people..... I get really hopeful thinking they will reply...I spend a lot of time talking to myself, trying to work all the kinks out of the ideas, playing up different scenarios in my mind... its really a wonderful feeling...I can think very efficiently, every little sentence can have immense meaning, and I can visualise the universe.

I don't generally spend a lot because I have values about austerity, and also I have prevented myself from having a credit card anymore. Otheriwse I might plan trips here and there....if I had a car I would probably end up in the mountains a lot.

On the flip side, I also have mixed states where I get extremely paranoid and irritable. I can have an explosive temper, and tend not be able to take any interruptions from people....I tend to get super angry about little things and think people purposefully are trying to hurt me. Kind of like xmo, this is the thing that sends off a red flag...I find myself hating or feeling violent towards people who I know I love and trust, and with that insight I know something isn't right...

I think with me its hard because my ideas are coupled with a delusion that I will help save the world, and that delusion doesn't ever seem to go away, so even when the energy subsides, my mind obsessively continues to search for the the "solutions" or "meaning" of life, and how to convey that to others.

Edited by Manuel
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My manias are all dysphoric. I hate myself, the world, my husband, my pets. They're all just a burden, because I really need to concentrate on what a piece of shit I am.

I used to have fun hypomanias, and they were awesome. I haven't had one in 5 years, and actually started having the shitty hypomanias about 10 years ago.

I hate that no one told me my illness could change so drastically.

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