Liz888 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Earlier tonight I was standing in my front yard waiting for my dog to do her business. I looked around the neighborhood and everything was really quiet and peaceful. All I could hear were crickets and the wind on tree leaves. The temperature wasn't cold or hot. I looked around and wanted more than anything to just BE THERE, in that moment. Feel the peace and calmness of the night and let it just wash over me.. Instead I felt nothing. I felt like I wasn't really there. I stood in my back yard afterwards and tried again to feel in the moment. I couldn't. I'm alive but I'm not living. Knowing this and being unable to fix it drags me farther and farther away. I wish so desperately I can wake up. Snap out of this. I use to be able to wear a mask for friends and family, but lately it's been harder and harder. I feel toxic and I wish they didn't have to deal with me. I stumbled upon this site and i must say, being able to relate to other people is a nice change.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
person Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 I can relate to not being able to feel in the moment, or like you're not there at all. This is the worst feeling. I'm new too and am hoping this forum is a good starting place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
montroseval Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 I am unable to feel joy, my little grandkids just get the robot me. So hard to live life this way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Earlier tonight I was standing in my front yard waiting for my dog to do her business. I looked around the neighborhood and everything was really quiet and peaceful. All I could hear were crickets and the wind on tree leaves. The temperature wasn't cold or hot. I looked around and wanted more than anything to just BE THERE, in that moment. Feel the peace and calmness of the night and let it just wash over me.. Instead I felt nothing. I felt like I wasn't really there. I stood in my back yard afterwards and tried again to feel in the moment. I couldn't. I'm alive but I'm not living. Knowing this and being unable to fix it drags me farther and farther away. I wish so desperately I can wake up. Snap out of this. I use to be able to wear a mask for friends and family, but lately it's been harder and harder. I feel toxic and I wish they didn't have to deal with me. I stumbled upon this site and i must say, being able to relate to other people is a nice change..Welcome to CB! It's great that you stumbled upon us. Have you considered trying mindfulness exercises? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SchizoHH Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 You are not alone. Losing my connection to nature is one of the worst things about my illness. Take care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gearhead Posted June 20, 2015 Share Posted June 20, 2015 Glad to meet you, Liz888. I know the feeling you're describing and it's horrible. If it helps to put a proper name to it, it's called anhedonia.Please feel to contact me or one of the other mods if you have any questions about the site.Gearhead (mod) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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