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Best ways to get back at bullies?


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I need to know what are the best ways to get back at the bullies (mostly aged 60 yrs. old, large white men) who intimidated, harassed and discriminated me (a minority with MI) during my time volunteering at their 100% volunteer, "non-profit" historical museum organization. Even after leaving their organization , I still have recurring bad memories, and hear their voices haunting me during my sleep. Basically, its very difficult for me to move on from that time of my life and something needs to be done.

These bullies didn't hurt me physically (I WISH they did, because I would LOVE to see these types of narrow-minded people in jail, being beat up by thugs and gangbangers, so that they could finally learn that the world is not of their kind only). These bullies violated Civil Rights & Disability Acts (towards their volunteers), and created a hostile work environment for minority volunteers. Their excuse was "if I didn't like their "historical mission statement" old-fashioned, blue-collar culture, I shouldn't have been volunteering there in the first place". I was the only young minority person there, and even a SUPER minority because I majored in liberal arts. When a carpenter there found out I major in liberal arts, he chuckled, laughed and said, "How's the market for that? Ha!" Another incident involved me serving food at one of their VIP events. One of their managers was asking a guest what their ethnicity was, and right when I passed the manager, he said, "That means you need to get out of here!". Another incident was a different manager asking me, "Is your name Al-Jazeera?" I froze. I said, "No, my name is **** *****". He then said, " You look like someone I knew." Those were just a few of the incidents. I could go on and on...

If any of you were wondering why I was volunteering there for a while, it was that I needed experience for my resume and career. I was dumb at the time for not realizing the difference between city, suburban, country, and extremely rural culture. Now I know the difference. Also, as the treatment towards me became worse, I decided to volunteer through email communication mostly with me just attending their monthly meetings.

I was pushed around numerous times essentially becoming the middle man in department projects. I would take the blame for project errors and a few of their members would accuse me of always taking full credit for the projects. One member said this degrading remark to me, "You like to put your name on everything." The "everything" refers to the advertisements and brochures I created for them, but I was originally instructed by the project manager, "To make sure my name was on them."

In the end, they got away with their actions. They continue to thrive and more people of their kind join their organization (or club). And when I list their organization name on job application forms, I think (I'm not 100% sure though) that they are talking crap about me to my potential employers during the background and reference checks.

 

Edited by MindAway
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I have been going to therapy for 8 years, but I haven't continued it after last month. I am thinking about going back again, regardless if the receptionist makes a stern, threatening look at me every time I register at the front desk.

 

With the place I volunteered at, I still have an itching desire to attend one of their "precious and inclusive" meetings and bring a loud boom box. But that wouldn't solve anything, it just shows that they "got me" and I'm intimidated by "the man".

Has anybody here been in my situation before? And what did you do to cope with the aftermath?

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I am not a minority, but am experiencing a lot of bullies at my current job. I have been yelled at,  for really no reason, by three people on different occasions. It  is  horrible. I work for a non-profit as well. I can't stand my job and it makes each very difficult. I tell myself these people can't compete and that is why they have to work here. Many are very emotionally immature and really just disgusting people. To cope I dress up each day and try to do my best, but it is difficult. I did take one person to HR.  Though it didn't help the situation I felt as if I was able to get things off my chest. 

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I'm going to be blunt and honest with you. 

1) I strongly encourage you to go back to therapy.

I doubt the receptionist at the therapist's office even remembers your name when you're not standing in front of them.

 

2) Find different references and leave the dicks off your resume.

The people at the volunteer place sound like they were assholes, yes, but garden variety run of the mill assholes who will hopefully die out and leave people who've at least HEARD of feminism even if they don't agree with it or comprehend the existence of the kyriarchy, etc.

You seem to be convinced you're being persecuted.  Do you honestly, seriously consider yourself a "super minority" because you majored in Liberal Arts?    I'm sorry about the comments on your ethnicity, gender, political affiliations &c, but dwelling on these assholes just gives them more power over you

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I know when we feel as though wrong has been committed against us it's quite easy to start planning in your head ways of getting revenge so that you can hurt them more than they've hurt you but really the best thing to do is hold your head high, move on and try to live a life that makes you happy and let the bullies swim in their own miserable shit. By dwelling on all the wrong they've done you're giving them power so why waste your time and thoughts on them? 

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The best way to get back at bullies is to go on and have a bang up successful life. They aren't worth your time.

However, if you felt it would help, you could check with the EEOC (equal employment opportunity commission) to see if they cover volunteers.

Edited by Wooster
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I concur with everyone else.  Walk away and let it go, persevere and succeed.  It's easier said than done, but perhaps therapy can help you overcome this.  Also, remember that in the scheme of things, you're not a super minority because you majored in liberal arts.  It's a very popular degree program at many established universities with stellar reputations.  You may have been a super minority in terms of your peers at the time because of your major, but this is not representative of the population as a whole, or even of your future endeavors.  The demographic you described can be notoriously difficult to work with.  They are from a different time.  Though, that certainly doesn't excuse the comments regarding your race, gender, or education.  Did you have any allies at this place?  If so, I would encourage you to list them as your reference instead of someone who you felt persecuted you during your time there.

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