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Hi all. I am back after a long time. I started posting here last year and I was well for a short time, but then I wasn't again. And I hide the most when I don't know how to process something. I've spent the last year hiding inside my head, in vivid daydreams. If I do that I don't have to face what's real. I'm "stable" for now, but that can change day by day and the team treating me are rather grim about prognosis and issues of treatment resistance becoming a serious concern. I don't know how I really feel about all this because I'm stuffed underneath my brain's escapist fantasies. Underneath it all I know I'm really scared so I need to climb out of la-la land at some point and deal with that.

I hope you have all been well. I've thought of this place often. 

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