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IcePrincess88

48 hours to "change"

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I will say upfront that I am in the middle of a complete medication cocktail overhaul and my mood swings are worse than ever. On to the story...I came home from my boyfriend's house today(I still live with my parents), and my dad told me that me and my mom needed to have a little talk. I waited about 20 minutes for her to get home(I was waiting on the porch). I said "Well?" She acted like she didn't know what I was talking about and went straight inside. She came back out a short while later and said "I remember what I was going to talk to you about now. You have 48 hours to change the way you treat people or you can move". I was in awe, I still am. She understands so little about being Bipolar. She must think I WANT to be like this. Like I CHOSE to be like this. She just thinks I'm a "bitch", instead of even trying to understand I have multiple mental issues. Like I don't wish I could be a normal fucking person without having people like her judge me. Thank god I have a pdoc appointment tomorrow. I just have no idea what to do about this! I have no where else to live, and I can't control my moods! I know you guys are the only ones that will understand. Any advice??

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I'm really sorry to hear that. I've had anxiety attacks because I thought I might get kicked out, I can't believe they thought that was a reasonable action to take. I hope your doctor can arrange a family intervention for you.

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I'm really sorry to hear that. I've had anxiety attacks because I thought I might get kicked out, I can't believe they thought that was a reasonable action to take. I hope your doctor can arrange a family intervention for you.

I am having horrible anxiety. Thank god for Xanax. I haven't been on an antidepressant for 2 weeks, so I know that's probably playing a factor in my "bitchiness". I was supposed to get on Wellbutrin Monday, but the doctor wasn't there. I can't wait to go tomorrow, but now I think I'm going to need more than Wellbutrin. My mom thinks my mental issues are "just an excuse". It's so sad to get treated like this from my own family. Thank you for your reply. 

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Gotta warn you that Wellbutrin can increase irritability, especially in the beginning.

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I, on the other hand, had no irritability/anxiety issues with swellbutrin, so that might be your experience as well.

ETA: I wonder if it would help to let your parents know what efforts you are making and where you might still be struggling to see if they would be willing to ask you or help you see where you might be "being bitchy" because it's hard for you to see right now due to the med switch, etc.

 

Edited by Wooster

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what Wooster said.  and i am thinking of you, IcePrincess.  I hope your pdoc has something helpful for you, and your parents grew some compassion overnight.  Even legal eviction the court/landlord gives you 72 hours to 30 days to get out, depending on offense, where i live.  I don't know your story, but I can't imagine you've been threatening or violent to your parents, something that would make a 48 hour ultimatum justifiable?  it sounds like they don't understand MI and are more concerned about relatively trivial stuff like irritability or attitude?  anyway, thinking of you and hoping you get some help for this.

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what Wooster said.  and i am thinking of you, IcePrincess.  I hope your pdoc has something helpful for you, and your parents grew some compassion overnight.  Even legal eviction the court/landlord gives you 72 hours to 30 days to get out, depending on offense, where i live.  I don't know your story, but I can't imagine you've been threatening or violent to your parents, something that would make a 48 hour ultimatum justifiable?  it sounds like they don't understand MI and are more concerned about relatively trivial stuff like irritability or attitude?  anyway, thinking of you and hoping you get some help for this.

I'll be seeing my pdoc in an hour. I'm about to get ready now. They don't understand anything about MI, like you said they just think I have an attitude. It's so stressful to be around people like this. If I had anywhere else to go, believe me I'd go! Thank you for your kind words.

 

I, on the other hand, had no irritability/anxiety issues with swellbutrin, so that might be your experience as well.

ETA: I wonder if it would help to let your parents know what efforts you are making and where you might still be struggling to see if they would be willing to ask you or help you see where you might be "being bitchy" because it's hard for you to see right now due to the med switch, etc.

 

I did let her know that I haven't been on any antidepressants for 2 weeks and how I'm in the middle of changing all my meds. She said nothing back. I'm really counting on that Wellbutrin. I see my pdoc in about an hour, so fingers crossed! Thanks for your response

 

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I am really sorry to hear that IcePrincess.  The same thing happened to me, except . . . well there was trauma.  Being confronted with 'YOu have to do this in the next two days or we'll HOSPITALIZE you" when you are sick, in pain and your stupid fucking parents have no idea that you have a medical issues, not a mental health one sent me over the edge.  It IS  scary when your parents give you some arbitrary ultimatum to 'get better'.  How long have you been dealing with your Bipolar, and how long has your family known about it?  Has there been any recent conflict with your parents?  IN my experience family members will attribute almost any behavior or conflict to their family members 'mental illness' - even its their own stress they're channeling on to you. Someone needs to explain to them what's going on - possibly your pdoc - so they don't come up with their own cockeyed theories.  What your parents may be experessing is THEIR fear more than anything else.  You would love them to understand right away, but from my experience that sseems to never happen.  It helps to understand what stresses in their own life may have caused them to try and drop the hammer on you.  Do you have any siblings or friends that could talk to them.  I wish I knew what else to say, but its a little too close to home for me.  I hope you can smooth things down.

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dont be scared of the wellbutrin. It can (and did in me) cause agitation and anger.. but it subsided after i was on it for over a month

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I read this over again, and am coming at it with slightly different advice.  Your mother said 'you have 48 hours to change the way you treat people."  Now I have no idea what she is talking about and she is probably making an unfair accusation - but at least from that you can understand where she is coming from and specifically what aspect of family life she feels is causing conflict.  I"m probably stepping into territory I may not be in the best place to give advice - but you could ask her to clarify, and give an example.  You could also explain that a big feature of BP is mood swings and irritability and it is something you are trying to work on - that it is not intentional.  I know there are resources out there to help other family members understand and constructively interact with someone with MI.  There are many protocols about ways family members should talk to their family member with MI.  It may be expecting too much for that to happen, but it couldn't hurt to look up a few books about family guide to mental health at the library.  In the mean time you can at least try damage control with your mom.  Even though her demands are unfair and off base, getting extremely upset and arguing back in response will probably only make it worse.  It sucks when your parents don't understand, but sometimes you just have to accept that and deal with it and not pick that battle - at least not until you can process things.  Your family really needs to understand the struggle you are dealing with, and that there is no magic fix - but I've learned that sometimes biting my tongue will at least not find myself in an escalating argument at that time.  Family's can definitely suck, hence this thread.  

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I read this over again, and am coming at it with slightly different advice.  Your mother said 'you have 48 hours to change the way you treat people."  Now I have no idea what she is talking about and she is probably making an unfair accusation - but at least from that you can understand where she is coming from and specifically what aspect of family life she feels is causing conflict.  I"m probably stepping into territory I may not be in the best place to give advice - but you could ask her to clarify, and give an example.  You could also explain that a big feature of BP is mood swings and irritability and it is something you are trying to work on - that it is not intentional.  I know there are resources out there to help other family members understand and constructively interact with someone with MI.  There are many protocols about ways family members should talk to their family member with MI.  It may be expecting too much for that to happen, but it couldn't hurt to look up a few books about family guide to mental health at the library.  In the mean time you can at least try damage control with your mom.  Even though her demands are unfair and off base, getting extremely upset and arguing back in response will probably only make it worse.  It sucks when your parents don't understand, but sometimes you just have to accept that and deal with it and not pick that battle - at least not until you can process things.  Your family really needs to understand the struggle you are dealing with, and that there is no magic fix - but I've learned that sometimes biting my tongue will at least not find myself in an escalating argument at that time.  Family's can definitely suck, hence this thread.  

I've been dealing with Bipolar and my other issues listed in my signature for 10 years, and they have known it the whole time. She let the 48 hour thing go because of my upcoming(at the time) pdoc appointment on Thursdays(last Thursday). On Thursday is when I got on the Wellbutrin, and started experiencing the placebo effect than lasted till Saturday. During that time, everything was good with the family, no conflict, no arguing, just smooth sailing. However since then, things have began to get rocky again, and things really came to a head yesterday. Before I tell you what happened, I must tell you my mom has a shopping addiction, or just money spending addiction in general. Even though my dad is the only one bring money into the house, he served 22 years in the Marine Corps, he gets disability and retirement from the government, and he just finished his 4 year degree and will be teaching high school math in the upcoming school year. My mom however, does not work, and rarely ever has, yet she spends most of the money on frivolous things. Now on to yesterday....

My dad has been telling me that he doesn't know if we're going to have enough money for next month, because my mom just keep blowing through it. This is a major conflict between them. Well, in the last 2 days, 4 Amazon packages have arrived for her. Obviously she's still spending money. So I text my dad exactly this- "You might want to slow down Mom's spending. 4 Amazon packages have come in the last 2 days". Fast forward about 3 hours, and my mom comes out with my dad's phone and says "I got your number" holding my dad's phone open with the text I sent him about her. So obviously she's pissed about me about that. But I don't even know if he knows that she went through his phone. I'm certainly not going to text him again. My mom made sure to stay right by my dad's side all night so I didn't get a chance to ask him why in the hell would he let her go through his phone.

Sorry this turned out to be so long. This is just the latest installment of the drama saga that is my life. I believe my mom probably would have tried to pull the 48 hour thing again, but she didn't have my dad to back her up this time. I can not wait for the day I leave this house. My family makes everything so much worse.

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Ugh. Sorry to hear all this is happening to you! 

I wish you had a good supportive family that you could count on. 

Thinking of you!

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 I can not wait for the day I leave this house. My family makes everything so much worse.

I understand this very well. I think it is very difficult for adult children to live with their parents. It is for me.

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Ugh. Sorry to hear all this is happening to you! 

I wish you had a good supportive family that you could count on. 

Thinking of you!

Thank you Cheese! This site seems to be my only escape to connect with people "like me". It's sad though that strangers can understand more than my actual family.

 I can not wait for the day I leave this house. My family makes everything so much worse.

I understand this very well. I think it is very difficult for adult children to live with their parents. It is for me.

Amen to that. I've always said that once I'm done with college and get started with an actual career, I don't want to EVER come back to this house. That's how horrible they've made my life. Once I do leave, I'm never looking back.

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