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Ever since I first came out last year as being bisexual, I've been extremely open with pretty much everyone about my sexuality. To be honest, I'd rather people know I'm bi than I have a mental health diagnosis. Most people have been very supportive of me, and I'm so lucky to have the support that I do. Is anyone else really comfortable with their sexuality and are open about it?

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  • 4 weeks later...

I have learned elsewhere on the internet (unfortunately) that bisexuals are the worst of the worst black sheep when it comes to sexual orientation, according to...umm...I don't know...people who think they are exclusively homosexual? Lesbians, specifically, hate bisexual women, in great numbers (of course not all of them do, but WOW the impression is huge from what little I've tried to communicate). Some of them also think bisexual guys are gross? Pfft. I just like the person. If you are kind, and loving, that's the important thing. Sorry, hope I didn't sour the thread, I've just not met with much kindness about this topic.

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I don't know if it's the case any more, but it used to be pretty common for gay folk to come out as bisexual first, as they thought there wasn't as much of a stigma attached to it. Because of that, I think a lot of people decided that bi people are really gay people who aren't fully out yet. While that is the case some of the time, it is by no means universal. From what I've read, there are actually more bisexuals than there are gays. Not by a huge margin, but more nonetheless. And yet it's pretty rare to run into self-described bisexuals in my age group. I think they fear discrimination from gays and straights alike. Perhaps for that reason they pass for gay in LGBT circles and straight in heterosexual ones. I also think there is an erroneous fear—among both gays and straights—that bisexuals can't entirely be satisfied by only one sex, and are therefore untrustworthy. For whatever reason, every bi guy I've met (that I know of) generally prefers women or is heteroromantic. I don't know how common that is generally, but that could be another reason why many gays prefer not to date bisexuals. 

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That's interesting...I know society thinks it's way more okay for a girl to "dabble" (no, that's not what bisexual is, we both know that :) ) than for a guy. Neuroscientifically speaking, it might be more common among women, just because the default genetic layout is female and androgens in utero change how masculinized a female will be, if she(he) is not genetically recognized as XY. Also, apparently drunk frat guys like to watch fake gay girls kiss lol. All I know is women, at least internet women, are paranoid and unreasonably easily offended (although that's pretty much true of anybody on the net these days). It's a lot to take in, and get used to (and I am a woman).

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I am not so sure about the ''fake gay women'' thing, tho. If you really don't want to make out with someone, you won't (unless pressured etc). I think it's completely fine to experiment. If you see two people kiss, you don't know their internal motives I'd say.

Personally, I am not comfortable with my sexuality because I have internalized a lot of biphobic shit, so I feel ''fake''. Probably because of all the stereotypes around bisexual women, yes.

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I can relate to that a bit, Sawi. I haven't internalized any bad feelings about being bisexual per se, but just about gay feelings in general. And those can get shamefully overpowering. I guess it's based on the environment one was raised in, I would think? And also, I used to think girls who would make out with other girls "as a joke" totally were into it--and I think they were---but teens today seem to do anything to get attention, and of course gay activity is more accepted than it was 20 years ago, so they wouldn't necessarily be labeled for doing that. I don't know. I'm just getting old! :P

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  • 1 month later...

I am very comfortable and open about my sexuality. Technically I'm pansexual, but I usually just call myself bi since most people don't know what pansexual is. I'm not flamboyant with expressing my sexuality, but I do absolutely nothing to hide it. I'm pretty open.

I guess that I just have really awesome relatives and I fell in with a really good group of friends, because no one has batted an eyelid at my sexuality. Well... maybe some of my dad's relatives have, but I don't much care for them or their opinions. I'm sure that it doesn't hurt that I'm a millennial and I've spent my entire live in urban areas of Massachusetts. Don't get me wrong, there are some people in my region and my age group who are biased, but I feel like overall people are very accepting. Or maybe I'm just really oblivious.

I didn't even realize that there was such a bias against bisexuals (vs. gays) until I came across it on the internet.

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