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Living with Borderline Personality Disorder - Options?


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Hello everyone, this is my first post on here.

I have been living with Borderline Personality Disorder since I was 17 years old. I am now 24. Before that I had severe anxiety and depression, and to this day still do at times. I have been on so many medications that it would take more than just a few hands to count them. The majority did nothing for me or induced horrible side-effects. Right now I am on Lamictal, which I have been on and off and then on again since I was 21. It helps quite a bit with my mood swings, but it fogs my memory and only moderately helps my depression. Right now I am coming off of Abilify, which I switched to one week ago after being on Saphris for a month. Yes, after only one week, I stopped taking Abilify - both it and Saphris induced mania in me. I had (and unfortunately still do) have so much energy that I can barely sleep, and my mind is constantly racing. Don't worry, no negative thoughts - just random stuff. Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, how long did it take for the manic-symptoms to subside?

Also, I have seen articles that say BPD is best treated with therapy/counseling, and I am starting to agree, at least in my case. However, I do not have steady access to a therapist (and would need a new one), and on top of that I have severe trust issues. This may sound weird, but I'm nearly desperate at this point for some relief: are there good internet programs/etc. which help people with BPD learn to manage their symptoms? My mood seems to ping-pong in a triangle, of sorts, between depression, anger, and being content/occassionally happy. Without Lamictal I am nearly always depressed and very angry, but over time I am becoming more content with my life. I am just hoping that there is more out there than medications that can help me.

Thanks ahead!

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  • 2 weeks later...

If you have done much reading around the subject, you will have found out that Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is the preferred choice of therapy for BPD. While I would always recommend having therapy with a professional, I am currently without a therapist too (thank you NHS) and did some digging on the Internet.

I found this workbook for DBT, which walks you through how to start applying the theories behind the therapy, and includes worksheets to fill in etc. https://docs.google.com/file/d/1cyanUui4ZlpL0suxvBoGhgsBQwM5aAsHXKl4U2vdQ7eRPMqcwe-jPuTxqgl2/edit?pli=1#

If you have done much therapy then you will recognise many of the formats of the sheets here. However there may be new things that help you and you can work through on your own. http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm

Hope this was the type of thing you were after!

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A lot of the medical and personal advice I was given when I was diagnosed was find a good therapist and don't bother with meds. For some, they work, but they did nothing for me. Talking about it/working through thought patterns has made my life a hell of a lot better though. As for online programs, I find blogging helps (sorry I don't have many BPD resources!)

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