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i really need some support and info about this illness i have just been diagnosised with.

i am relapsing after only a day out of hospital. i thought i was strong enough to cope but i am not i am so weak.

please tell me what is going to make illness go away. i dont want to go back to hospital.

i have the most ugly scares on my body from hurting myself. i dont want to do it anymore i dont want to make myself vomit anymore. how can i stop..

i really feel like i have lost this battle that the illness now had control of me. not the other way around.

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My first suggestion would be to read (or keep reading) through the boards. See what other people have gone through, and what helped them or made things worse.

My second suggestion would be google or wikipedia, and do a search there.

Have they give you medication? And if they have, are you taking it? Is it helping?

Is there anyone you can contact at the hospital you were released from to obtain information?

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Exercising.

When I over-eat I don't purge, I exercise. I exercise too hard sometimes, yes- but at least it's more healthier than purging.

When I was released from inpatient for anorexia I felt the same way as you- very, very lost. There is a period of adjustment...you just gotta get through it and then things will start to get better.

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(((((((((((((Iona)))))))))))))

I recommend "Lost in the mirror" as the most compassionate book on BPD. I have lots of the traits and can empathise.

recovery takes lots of time and patience, and it is possible.

much love,

Katie

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Iona

Just know from the love you have received from these posts that you are safe.

Stay here with your friends tonight and be safe.

Sylvia

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i really need some support and info about this illness i have just been diagnosised with.

i am relapsing after only a day out of hospital. i thought i was strong enough to cope but i am not i am so weak.

i think admitting that you need help a sign of a very strong person. 

and, i have to say, i'm sure you are strong enough to cope, but you need coping mechanisms.  one of the main things about borderline is that borderlines lack coping skills to handle emotional stress.  this is not at all a sign of weakness, it just means that you need some skills.

please tell me what is going to make illness go away. i dont want to go back to hospital.
DBT (not CBT) can really make it go away in the sense that in DBT you will learn the skills to be able to cope. 

i have the most ugly scares on my body from hurting myself. i dont want to do it anymore i dont want to make myself vomit anymore. how can i stop..

right now these are probably the only coping skills you have to deal with your pain.  what you need are more skills in your tool box to help you tackle thing.

there are a lot of skills out there, and different things help different people... for me, i stopped cutting by dunking my head in a sinkfull of ice water whenever it got that bad.  and every week i went w/o cutting i'd give myself a reward.  but different things work for different people...

i really feel like i have lost this battle that the illness now had control of me. not the other way around.

borderline is hard, there is no disputing that.  no disputing the immense emotional pain  you are no doubt going thought.

but, like someone said above, you haven't lost.  cutting, purging, etc. are coping skills you've developed to function.  they were the only things you had to help you get through the pain.  but you're still here, so you haven't lost.  you've just been given this dx.  your battle with it, so to speak, has just begun.  but, it is one you can win.  you just need to talk to your pdoc/tdoc about getting into a DBT program.  DBT is hard work, but you can do it.  you can really learn to stop cutting and purging.  you really can learn other ways of dealing with pain, and even eventually get that intense pain to mellow out. 

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Find something, anything, that can help you take your mind off hurting yourself and your illness.  You could meditate (think of past experiences that are happy, think of other nice things, etc), exercise (take a class if you can't find the motivation to do it yourself) read, write, paint or even sign up for a class at a local college or community center (given you have the money and time), something fun, like a pottery class?  The best thing I can do, even though I have a different illness than you, is to focus on something else, not let myself get sidetracked on being depressed.

Best wishes and hope everything works out. ;)

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thanks for all your posts i wish i could say i have made a great recovery since we last chatted but all i can say is i am still alive. thats my main objective

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

IV,

well, first off, not to sound amazingly stupid, but i am glad that you are still alive... sometimes that's how it is... having your main objective being to keep yourself alive.

I know that i havent posted here... and i felt really badly that i hadn't.  I'm going through some stuff as well and i didnt think that anything that i could possibly say would really be worth much to you

so many other people have posted great suggestions...i wont waste your time by repeating them... i did want to let you know, though, that i'm here if you need anything.  I can relate to and sympathize with how you feel... you are not alone in any of this... i promise...

please be good to yourself and check back soon, whether it be by post or pm

~*Ophelia*~

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Viona,

Being alive is a victory.  All other victories must stem from it- you can't do anything if you're not alive.  Your potential for recovery is infinitely better alive than dead.  So you're working in the right direction! 

Other people have given great suggestions on where to go from here.  But you should recognize that being alive is a victory.

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thanks every one for your advice and support. i just still feel like i am on abit of a roller coaster of emotions which makes it really hard sometimes. im trying so hard to do everything right but like a baby learning to walk, or a child learning to ride a bike, occassionaly i have some falls, some harder then others. but im learning.

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