Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Being sad because I'm below average height


Recommended Posts

I'm an adult but I'm only 5'6.5" 145 lbs. I'm very insecure about my height and therapy didn't help.

All my friends are 3-7 inches taller than me. I feel so small when I stand next to them. I feel like really short.

That's why I don't wanna socialize because my height makes me insecure. Josh Hutcherson is 5'7" and he said he's very insecure too.

Taller guys look more masculine. The average caucasian woman is shorter than me but 20 pounds heavier. I feel really small when I

stand next to girls that are 5'8" and up.

Should I try different antidepressants? My pdoc and tdoc don't know what to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Never feel badly about your height. I'm petite. I'm five feet tall and I used to weigh 100lbs. I only date shorter men because they fit me better in all ways. I don't want to be dwarfed by my lover. I have never viewed shorter men as any less masculine or inferior in any way. People are simply different heights, just as they have different features. It is not a statement on who you are as a person.

I can't see medication helping this particular issue. You have to work on accepting things about yourself that you cannot change. Try talking to friends you have that are also shorter in height. See how they feel about their height. You might find that it isn't as problematic as you feel it is at this moment.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Never feel badly about your height. I'm petite. I'm five feet tall and I used to weigh 100lbs. I only date shorter men because they fit me better in all ways. I don't want to be dwarfed by my lover. I have never viewed shorter men as any less masculine or inferior in any way. People are simply different heights, just as they have different features. It is not a statement on who you are as a person.

I can't see medication helping this particular issue. You have to work on accepting things about yourself that you cannot change. Try talking to friends you have that are also shorter in height. See how they feel about their height. You might find that it isn't as problematic as you feel it is at this moment.

I had a friend who was 5'6" and he said he is happy the way he is. I believe he was telling the truth although it was hard to believe!

I took about 6 different antidepressants. Zoloft was the most horrible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

this is not an issue meds can fix, you need to work on your low self-esteem. therapy is your best bet for this. with that said, it's true that there are a lot of ladies out there who are attracted to tall men, but that attraction is not exclusive or set in stone, and it's not every woman's preference. i know a guy who is shorter than me (i'm 5'2), and he's had many successful relationships with women. i know guys who weigh half of what their girlfriends/wives do and they're content with that. i know girls who have no problem with dating shorter men and the only reason they won't is because they do find men are insecure about it and it negatively affects their relationship. 

confidence truly is the most attractive thing for most people. you are certainly not the shortest man alive and your height is not what prevents you from successful relationships. your perception of yourself and other people is what hinders you. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As everyone has already said, this is a therapy issue, not a meds issue. You need to work on accepting yourself for who you are. I'll bet there are a lot of great qualities about you that you just fail to see. And height isn't everything. In fact, in the grand scope of life, it doesn't matter at all. I guarantee you that your friends do not like you less because of your height. It just doesn't factor into the equation. I've never even considered the height of my friends. I am not better than someone who is shorter and I am not worse than someone who is taller.

So to say it again, you need to work on this in therapy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As everyone has already said, this is a therapy issue, not a meds issue. You need to work on accepting yourself for who you are. I'll bet there are a lot of great qualities about you that you just fail to see. And height isn't everything. In fact, in the grand scope of life, it doesn't matter at all. I guarantee you that your friends do not like you less because of your height. It just doesn't factor into the equation. I've never even considered the height of my friends. I am not better than someone who is shorter and I am not worse than someone who is taller.

So to say it again, you need to work on this in therapy.

This is true. I went to therapy for 10 months

Link to comment
Share on other sites

it's possible that it wasn't the right therapy for you or you didn't cover this issue or maybe you just need more time in therapy. ten months isn't very long if you look at it in the context of your whole life. a lifetime of feelings of low self-worth can't be cured in a set timeframe. you don't just wake up one day with confidence. it's progressive healing and that goes for most issues you'll work on in therapy. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My pdoc and tdoc don't know what to do.

If they don't know what to do, maybe you can try other ones?  Maybe get a second opinion?  When I was in therapy  awhile back I left because I wasn't getting anywhere with it.  It was talk therapy, but I still felt "stuck."  If your therapist has run out of ideas I'd try and find a new one who you can work with and set some goals.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are different types of therapy, maybe the type you were in just wasn't for you. Don't sweat your height. A lot of girls aren't looking for super tall guys. 

I went to prom in 10th grade with my friend who was 6'2" at the time (pretty sure he's grown) and I'm 5'2". Even with heels on it was a pain in the ass dancing with him, especially slow dancing. So I said that any guy I dated had to be 5'10" or less. My bf is 5'8" and I am perfectly happy with that, good height for me. 

I'm Mexican so 5'6-10" is typical for the men and for the women if you get to 5'2", you're tall (I'm tall!). The only ones in my family who are past those heights got it from the part of their family that isn't mine. Honestly, height has never stopped the guys in my family from socializing and dating. 

If it makes you feel better, even your friends will look small if they stand next to my 6'9" coworker or my high school history teacher's 7ft tall father-in-law. Unless they're that height. 

The number doesn't really matter. You could be surrounded by super tall people and naturally you'll always look small or you could be surrounded by really short people and you'll always look tall. Funny story, one time I was at work and my former boss was there along with one of the student research assistants. The 3 of us were standing together and never in my life had I felt so tall, my old boss is like 4'11" and the student (college student) I think was shorter than my aunt (and my aunt is 4'9"). So it's all relative really because I walked out the room and immediately felt like the shortest thing ever next to my 6'9" coworker and the other student who is like 6'5". 

And you look asian in your pic. You also got to take race into account. My bf is Chinese, and he's taller than a lot of the men in his family. So you might be average for your race. In college I worked in an office full of white females and they were all taller than me but put me in a room with my family and I'm taller than a lot of the females there. 

Like others said, this is something that has to be worked out through therapy, so maybe you can ask your pdoc to a referral to a different type of therapist. A different approach might help you. For example, CBT and me just didn't get along. It wasn't the therapy for me. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm very tall and quite frankly it can be a pain in the ass at times.   However I have other 'body issues' that cause me big concerns; currently feeling very down today about that, so I can understand where you are coming from, even if I don't share the same worry. 

FWIW I have never found medications to help with the issue... it can help mask the problem but sooner or later it pops back up again.  Somehow that feeling of being 'abnormal' and inferior  always comes back.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...