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SO.......

I been told I'm Bipolar many times and Doc's never seems to agree which one. FOr me I bounce around all day but since I tried to take medicine they gave me I feel throw threw a loop! The Trileptal Has made me bounce around WORSE like idk..... Usually I feel angry or ramped and depressed separate but daily. Now I'm both angry amped but depressed and tired!! Does it sound like the medicines inducing mixed episodes? Or that I had the all along? If so whats best to treat them in your personal experience ( I now we all respond different)  as my psych's seem lost as to what they should prescribe. 

To be honest I thinking I'm untreatable and since i been on Trileptal I bounced anywhere from being angry and wanting to power threw to wanting to off my family to wanting to commit myself and see if they can shock me into normalcy to looking for ways to erase my memories to death and back around bouncing all around!?! 

I can't just stop the trileptal because it seem's to stop a neurological problem I been having I don't see my psych till the 20th and I doubt my therapist will be much help on wednesday. 

I'm not even 100% in what im writing I'm just very stressed and idk....  I just don't feel right.... No med seem to work all depression meds have failed anti psychs worsen some on my conditions very badly so there out I'm beginning to think I'm medicine resistant and can only be cured by ending it.... Then I think no there's got to be a way but I think thats just wishful thinking.... If I had an idea on what med to suggest to my psych I'd feel a lil better when I look u meds I can only find whats best for type 1 or 2 nothing saying whats best for mix (I know everyone diff) But a idea what works would be good. And This post i'll prolly regret as I been acting like I do when I drink saying things I wish I didn't forgetting what I just did all over the place sad part is I'm on 150 twice a day! taking less won't help I'll just shake :/

I give up guess  I needed to rant sorry....

 

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If you started feeling this way after a med change, you may indeed be experiencing a med-induced mixed episode. Mixed episodes suck and they're dangerous to you as well. I recommend that you call your pdoc as soon as you can. Do you have a neurologist? If you have a neurological condition then they should be in consultation. 

Taking meds can be all about figuring out side effects sometimes. You have to make sure the SE's are not screwing you up to the degree that they're making the meds not worth taking.

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If you started feeling this way after a med change, you may indeed be experiencing a med-induced mixed episode. Mixed episodes suck and they're dangerous to you as well. I recommend that you call your pdoc as soon as you can. Do you have a neurologist? If you have a neurological condition then they should be in consultation. 

Taking meds can be all about figuring out side effects sometimes. You have to make sure the SE's are not screwing you up to the degree that they're making the meds not worth taking.

Ok saying neurological problem was kinda dumb on my part when I haven't been diagnosed officially  sorry about that.

In a previous post I talked of Multiple Sclerosis type symptoms my Reg Doc still won't give me referral to a neuro till she done but the trileptal has stopped the locking, shaking, wet head feeling, and so on.  I do see my therapist in 2 days maybe she can talk to my psych? I don't want to stop the trileptal even if it's the cause because when I did my shaking and nerve pain and locking came back with a vengeance and I only been on the med a very short time?  But I fear staying on it would do more harm then good. SO I'm confused as to what to do. 

I did have mood swings before but not as bad as this! I mean these aren't just daily there constant flipflop every few minutes regardless as to what's going on around me where as before my moods shifted daily but usually affected by what's happening at the moment. 

I would talk to my psych personally but I can't understand what he's saying half the time he has a thick accent and I panic 99% then time when people talk it mixes all that much worse. I was better when y husband use to be able to go to retell me wheat was being said but he stays home with the kids.... Also to throw in the mix I'm postpartum still with my 4th child maybe that's making it worse?

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I just want to say there are better and better medications for MS, and the sooner you get on them, the better your prognosis. Just 5 years ago, my friend had *nerves grow back.* That isn't supposed to happen. She said her doctor squealed when she saw it. But it is better to catch it when not very much needs to grow back.

I know you aren't sure yet, but time's a wasting. Could you talk your gdoc into an MRI?

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Have you been on other types of medication?  There A LOT of different med combinations out there.

I agree with this. It's a lot of trial, many years worth of it sometimes, to find a combo that fits.

Before deciding you are untreatable, try the 100s of combinations of meds that may include your silver bullet.

But if you feel mixed, call your pdoc.

I been trying meds since 2009 I know it's not as long as some people but since my big problem in 2008 no one's been 100% sure whats wrong and in my opinion there not even close. Most my problems started after a overdose mainly i have what I thought were hallucinations or more like sound misperceptions until someone told me about Objective tinnitus, So I think after all these years I been experiencing a type of tinnitus.

My main other symptoms after my overdose was flashbacks, crippling anxiety, vertigo, objects still seeming to move and drift and patterns moving. I was unable to function the ground moved to much my ears hurt to much and I was sure I was losing it. My first dose of Valium pretty much stopped EVERYTHING from the ground moving to the patterns drifting and even minimised the sound problem ALOT ! But Doc's won't let me stay on just valium forever so I began trying the other meds . All so far have failed they don;t think I should be on ANY antidepressant after zoloft made me want to set myself on fire (tho I told them the only problem on wellbutrin was derealization ) effexor was a nightmare, They mostly gave up on antipsychotics because I panic on everyone one of them revving up the problems there trying to stop but are confused by my symptoms and go back to them sometimes thinking that some how it will change.

Fast forward to 2013 I pretty much just stayed on Valium and for 3 years lived a pretty normal life with small mood swings threw out the day that I had since childhood But no flash backs really and everything else mostly controlled (THough my agoraphobia wasn't just the anxiety I had in the house)In 2012 I developed a face rash that came and went thought nothing of it. In Autumn of 2013 I felt like something was off... it grew I began locking shakinging going numb? That's when beginning 2014 I was tired of chewing my tongue till it bleed shaking and having a cut up foot from having extreme like RLS symptoms? If I didn't kick my foot in I would shake worse fighting it. Then poof they seem to dim only faint feelings of them there only then I became real depressed because I didn't know what was wrong. 

Got preg with my 4th and tried to gome of valium with a taper 3 months off the medicine not only did every symptom after my OD come back but my locking (accompanied by burning nerves) and shakes had me falling on the ground my head always felt wet like warm water was running down, I had time lapses, foggy memories, trouble telling dreams from what happened, very angry mood swings. They put me on a lower dose of Valium. Had some relief wasn't falling but the wet head mood changes, still have trouble wondering if things were real or a dream, time lapses didn't seem to get better. I started to try the mood stabilizers The Depakote stopped my anger in it's tracks and gave me a calm. But because the side effect I had on the third day now Docs don;t really want to try any mood meds? Feels like there giving up on me after one fail and there not gonna want to keep going with the valium. Not like that matters the valium can't stop the shakes and wet head. But the Trileptal did... It did nothing for my emotions rather made them worse bUT stopped ALL those wet head weird shakes and so on (the foggy can't ell if it really happened still there) And I still feel like I'm constantly overdosing all over again. My therapist is tomorrow I'm afraid If I tell her about the good and bad reaction they will do what they always do ripe away the med with nothing to replace it. Or ignore how depakote and trileptal both contributed something positive unlike other meds and jump back to only  antipsychotics which Geodon, abilify, zyprexa, seroquel, risperidone  All left me in a worse state and aggravated my locking and nerves. 

I been telling the docs for years I think most my problems are not psychological but rather a permanent result of my OD. They said no because it would show up on a reg MRI (they did for 2 mins at the ER) Yes I know I have anxiety and yes since I was young I had mood swings but I don't think these are linked to what's going on. Infact If I didn't get mood swings from trileptal the fact the physical is controlled I would feel normal again :/  

And I have seen MANY docs, and psychs since 2009 and along time ago one neuro who said if I can walk a straight line and that basic follow my finger test then I'm fine. I don;t think anyone has a real clue whats going on so I been trying to figure it out myself....

Thankyou you guys for writing

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