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The Dangers of Not Having Any Friends (Long-Term)

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On 12/6/2019 at 6:23 PM, psychwardjesus said:

I'm sure it's a risk factor; for what, I don't know though.

It can definitely make the social anxiety and depression worse when you don't have any friends. All those crappy thoughts seem true because if you aren't worthless and loathsome then why are you alone? I was stuck thinking like that for a long time. The social anxiety and depression can make you want to isolate yourself, which can make you more anxious and depressed, which makes you want to isolate yourself even more and so on. They won't like me anyway, miserable weirdo that I am, so what's the point? So you push people away and never ever let anyone get close, because it'll just end in failure and rejection anyway. And that went on for many years - I'm alone and nobody likes me because I'm a piece of shit, and I did nothing to try to disprove this because the rejection which I thought was inevitable would've hurt even more.

I'm going to see Knives Out at the cinema next week with a friend. The first real-life friend I've made since I left school, and I moved soon after finishing school so I have been friendless for a long time. I haven't beaten those crappy thoughts completely but I'm now doing things which challenge them. Everyone hates me? Well she doesn't seem to, and she invited me to go and see this film with her. Being alone just gives those crappy thoughts more power to drag you down. And the moral of this boring story? Being alone is shit and it's not as impossible as it may seem to meet someone who likes you. Something like that.

Good that you have two true friends psychwardjesus. For us introverts it's the quality rather than the quantity which matters. Two close friends or 200 casual acquaintances? Don't mean to dismiss your problems with making new friends.

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  • 1 month later...

Interesting TedTalk related to this. "The Strongest Predictor of How Long You Will Live"

The Italian island of Sardinia has more than six times as many centenarians as the mainland and ten times as many as North America. Why? According to psychologist Susan Pinker, it's not a sunny disposition or a low-fat, gluten-free diet that keeps the islanders healthy -- it's their emphasis on close personal relationships and face-to-face interactions.

It's not only close relationships, but overall social integration, think every little interaction you have every day: the postman, a neighbor, grocery clerk, a stranger on the bus or cafe, a smile from a stranger on the street. It all adds up:


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