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how do you do constructive work when you're feeling really bad?


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i just am feeling so fucking terrible. my depression, anxiety, mood swings, crying spells, eating problems, sleeping problemsmotivational problems, major issues with self-esteem. all of them. i find it really hard to try to work in my cbt work and delve into my underlying issues when it's such a struggle to just be alive. and i don't know how to cope.

i know there are a lot of underlying "core issues" that need to be addressed, but it's really hard to address them when i struggle to get out of bed or am always trying to keep myself from panicking and obsessing or focusing on controlling my eating habits and lately: trying to prevent myself from bursting into tears throughout the day.

i feel like my way of being able to get through the days makes all my issues worse. like i have to try to forget what's going on and immerse myself in things that are easier to swallow. that means burying myself in media and ignoring real issues. it means trying to keep myself away from my thoughts at all times. trying to do things that just calm me down and distract me from what's really going on. it's hard to go to therapy because i feel like i seem like i'm just not working hard enough. i barely have any "homework" to show and what i can show is really hard for me to express and get into. i'm in a really bad spot right now and i feel like the longer this goes on the less hope i have to hold onto. it has been years of trying to get through this and i don't have much to show for it.

so how do i work on what makes me feel really bad when i'm feeling really bad? how do you manage it?

Edited by cosima
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is it bad to repress tears? like should i just sob and lose it for as long as it takes and then after will i eventually feel better? or is giving into them trouble? should i allot myself crying times during the day? i'm sorry. i'm really not right in the head. this is not right. it's all too much for me. 

how can i calm down? i just can't seem to get rid of this intense "on edge" freaking out feeling. like i woke up with it. it's not going away. it's been here for like five days now. i really feel out of control.

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Acceptance and Commitment Therapy might be a great approach to learn more about.

(just briefly because I'm at work)

i've looked up the general details and it sounds more helpful than what i'm doing now which is i'm assuming a random mix of cbt workbook by myself and impromptu questioning/discomfort during sessions. the problem for me is all of this sounds really straightforward and helpful when i look it up in theory but i would have no idea how to approach this. i definitely don't understand the idea of accepting emotions and stuff like that. i try really hard to be mindful and accept anxiety and sadness and then just move on and be constructive but i find it really frustrating. thank you for your input, woo. i think this and DBT are my best bets if i can ever get into a free group or bring it up to a different tdoc in the future.

 

melissa, he's said a few times about how he doesn't know how to give me help that i haven't already been able to retain or receive so far in my background of receiving therapy and stuff. he says he appreciates and gets my level of suffering but that we don't seem to be making progress. i also don't feel comfortable in therapy. i don't feel comfortable around anyone and i do not enjoy therapy at all but i honestly don't think we're a good fit. it's government run therapy though and i only have a few sessions left so it's too late to switch now. i think he's just trying to be realistic and honest with me but it makes me feel really bad about my lack of progress.

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melissa, he's said a few times about how he doesn't know how to give me help that i haven't already been able to retain or receive so far in my background of receiving therapy and stuff. he says he appreciates and gets my level of suffering but that we don't seem to be making progress. i also don't feel comfortable in therapy. i don't feel comfortable around anyone and i do not enjoy therapy at all but i honestly don't think we're a good fit. it's government run therapy though and i only have a few sessions left so it's too late to switch now. i think he's just trying to be realistic and honest with me but it makes me feel really bad about my lack of progress.

I'm sorry it is that way.  It sounds very frustrating and I would hate going there also.  Does he know your thoughts about how you feel about therapy with this therapist?

After the few sessions you have left, will you be starting with another therapist?

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is it bad to repress tears? like should i just sob and lose it for as long as it takes and then after will i eventually feel better? or is giving into them trouble? should i allot myself crying times during the day? i'm sorry. i'm really not right in the head. this is not right. it's all too much for me. 

how can i calm down? i just can't seem to get rid of this intense "on edge" freaking out feeling. like i woke up with it. it's not going away. it's been here for like five days now. i really feel out of control.

Honestly, I have found that sometimes it helps to just lose it and have a good sobbing cry. Then I can pick up the pieces of my psyche more easily and move on. I'm not necessarily saying what you should do, but I'm just saying what works for me. It also helps if I lose it in the evening and then go to sleep and wake up to a new day.

Calming down from feeling on edge is another question altogether. Even though I've got a fairly good handle on my mood with my current med cocktail, I don't have a handle at all on my anxiety. I tend to avoid which is not good, but otherwise I would also always be on edge. As it is, I'm on edge a lot of the time. Sorry I can't be of more help here. I do second Woo's suggestion of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

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melissa, no. i don't think so. i think i'm on my own unless i go to a private therapist which i don't think is an option financially right now.

thanks, jt, for sharing what helps you. 

 

i'm doing a little better but still feeling really lost and unsure of what to do about anything.

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